Starlit Angel
by Ed Fullmetal Alchemist
Summary: UPDATE! Finally, after a few years; I've finally updated. I hope you like this chapter, thanks for comments and stuff.
1. Prologue: Dreams Can Pain

_**Starlit Angel**_

_**Prologue**_

_Dreams Can Pain _

_**Kingdom of heaven fell, when the celestial angel with starlit eyes fell. The world had become of nothing, but shattered dreams. Now we all just have wounded souls, living in nothing but broken hearts. Left adrift in a sea of regret and remorse, where all memories have faded. And now, we can't face who we are, much less... What we have become.**_

"No! Leave him alone!" Edward screamed in pain. "Al! Al! No, please!" He began struggling to his knees, breathing heavily. Finally getting to his feet, the Full Metal Alchemist clapped his hands together, transforming his auto-mail into a blade. "I said, leave him alone! You bastard!" the blonde began charging at a silhouette of a figure, hovering over his brothers limp body. Only fifteen feet away did the prodigy feel a sharp pain course through his chest, which spread to every nerve, causing him to collapse. Blacking out for a couple of seconds, after hitting his head against what felt like concrete. Edward opened his eyes in a nonchalantly manner, blinking, he tried crawling to his knees; but was only tossed into more pain as a churning in his stomach, caused him to cough vigorously, nearly choking on the fluid exiting his mouth; Blood.

Rain began to fall heavily from the black abyss, soaking the young alchemist putting him into a near feverish state. The blood coating his lips dripped down his chin to his neck; blood even ran down in thick rivulets form the blonde hairline. Sweat mixed with blood, and that mixed with rain; but even through the sweetness of the rain, the blood and sweat created a foul smell. The odor stung Edward's eye and nostrils, causing his breathing to become violently ragged while exhaustion over took him. The blonde's arms ached as he held himself up form the freezing ground. "Damn it! Why is this happening?" Edward cried the anguish and fatigue stabbed at him like daggers. Looking up, Full Metal came face to face with the silhouette, with burning blue eyes, and the rest of its face hidden behind a magnificently painted glass mask. The mask was crafted and painted to elegantly match the exact replica of a foxes head.

"What's the matter, Full Metal?" The silhouette hissed violently, its eyes gleaming with malevolence. "Cant you even gather the strength to help your own flesh and blood?"

"Who the hell are you? What the hell do you want here?" The writhing alchemist grinded out between his teeth; "Why are you doing this?"

It began laughing behind its glistening mask. "Tell me, Full Metal. Have you ever seen the fear in another's eyes up close and personal? Heh, have you tasted sensuality of power, knowing that you caused that fear?"

Edward tensed every muscle in his body, as he listened to those words. Growling, gold eyes filled with disgust, "You sick bastard! You're disgusting! I'm nothing like you!" He spat violently in its face, but quieted when the silhouette glared fiercely.

Kneeling, it took a stern hold of Edward's jaw in its dead ice cold hand. Tearing away from it, the blonde felt a hand strike him. "Look at me, Full Metal!" It demanded, taking Edward's face into its grasp once again. "I want the pleasure of taking away the things you cherish the most. I want you to..." Pausing in its sentence, it turned the blonde's face, to face a horrific sight; "Suffering."

At the moment, Edward's pure aureate eyes filled with shimmering tears of grief as they settled upon a bloody, broken dirty-blonde boy. Letting him self fall, all of Edward's strength left the young prodigy. His body shook with broken-heart sobs; tears cascaded down the bruised, bloody face of Edward. "Damn it, no."

Whimpering, Edward tried crawling towards his brother, but found it useless as his body continued to ache. "No... Al... I can't lose you too, Al. "Watching bronze ocular's fade, Full Metal felt his entire soul collapse within his heart.

"Big brother. Hey, Ed wake up, brother." Alphonse whispered, shaking the shoulders of Edward roughly; the older Elric's cries of sorrow grew frantic. "Ed, c'mon wake up."

Full Metal groaned and gasped; trying to get much needed air into his lungs, the nightmare had choked from him. He perspired profusely, lolling his head form one side of the pillow to the other. With a final cry, Edward shot form the comfort of his sheets, paler than the white fabrics; and back placed firmly against the headboard of his bed. The prodigy shook all over, while the nightmare burned into the back of his mind, and tears of angst filled the rim of his frightened aureate gaze. Edward buried his pale face into the palms of his flesh, and auto-mail hands. Edward sobbed uncontrollably.

Alphonse spoke solemnly, "brother, are you alright?" The large suit of armor took a breath, thinking of words that would comfort his big brother. "They won't come true, you know th…"

Cutting his little brother off, the blonde took the suit of armor into a sudden hug. "It's the thought of it, Al-What if I can't protect you? You're not immortal." Embracing Alphonse even tighter, Edward choked on a sob, trying to say more. "I can't lose you. Without you I-I won't be able to live." The last of the elder Elric's words were spoken so softly that Alphonse didn't hear it.

Cupping Edward's face, Alphonse made the prodigy face him. "Ed, I know you'll keep me form harm. You've already proven that."

Smiling, the blonde alchemist gazed out the window of their new home, to a bright crescent moon, surrounded by dazzling stars. He hoped if there was a God, he would make that completely true, as the black sky. Sighing, Edward took Alphonse's large hand. "Al, I need you to understand why-why I'm going to Central. I've been sick for a-a long time now, and I want to go find Marcoh.

Looking at both their hands, Alphonse whispered solemnly. "Why didn't you say something? Why didn't you tell me? Why, Ed?" Focusing back on Edward's face, the younger Elric saw something deep in gold eyes. "That's only half of the reason, isn't?"

"That's why I want you to forgive me," Full Metal pulled his head away; pressing his knees to his chest. "...Al, I'm turning my state watch in...I'm sorry."


	2. Tortured Soul

_For those who have waited for me to update, thanks alot if you were patient... and for those that just wanted to kill me for not uploading sooner. I completely and utterly understand. Thanks for your time.

* * *

_

**_Tortured Soul_**

Chapter I

The sky was hazy, and the light of the sun gave it an incandescent glow. Drops of rain battered against the train, roughly; the silhouette of the rain showing upon pale skin. The rains silhouette even gave golden honey eyes an extraordinary quintessence glow. Thunder rolled across the grey sky, and lightning cackled through the air; only in a way to pierce the golden eyes with unwanted memories.

"Damn it, why the hell do you keep following me?" Clasping white gloved hands over his ears and gold eyes shut tightly; Edward tried to block out the unseen face, and the unheard voice. "Leave me alone! Just leave me the hell alone! Go away!" He whispered hoarsely, his throat tightening with pain.

It seemed endless hours before the unseen force stopped it's taunting; and left the trembling teenage alchemist in a nearly, suffocating silence. Opening gold eyes, Edward shuddered at the feeling the force left; angst. Glancing to the other few passengers in the compartment, the young alchemist sighed in relief, thankful no other passenger noticed. Turning his eyes to his gloved hands, his lips pressed into a firm frown, at the way he trembled in thought of his nightmare. It was sheer calamity that consumed Edward in a state that he used to find solace; now, he didn't know if such a place existed. Existed at all, for someone like him; someone who needed salvation from delusion, incarceration, infidelity. There was no where for him anymore, not a home, not a safe place; not even a considerate soul to turn to for help. He was just considered an immoral bastard and tossed aside to writhe in the detriment he'd been put through.

Sighing nonchalantly, Edward leaned his head against the window; once again, watching everything pass by. Taking a deep breath, the blonde sighed with frustration. "Can't believe everything's come down to this, it's been about a full year since…" Frowning, he thought solemnly, 'How much as changed?'

Leaning his elbow on the border of the window, Edward sighed crossly. Shutting his eyes softly, he pictured the home he left in Rizembool, seven years ago. The family home he thought he would never abandon, the home he could always go to for comfort. A two story house full of joyous memories, that where painful to look back on. Every room held a story of his and Alphonse's life before the night their mother died and the failed human transmutation. Hohenheim's room, filled with notes and books on ancient forms of alchemy, where together they learned the laws of equivalent exchange in the most terrifying experience.

In an instant flash, Edward found himself at the closed doors of the gate. His left arm held out in front of him, deep, death threatening gashes in his pale skin. Large amounts of dark crimson blood, oozing in thick rivulets to the ground. With his auto-mail fingers, Edward reached up to touch the lacerated flesh, but paused at the feeling of tears running down his face.

Shutting his eye tightly, the prodigy saw the horrifying images of a godless war. A sky illuminated a ruby glow against a black sky and the explosions of alchemic reactions took Edward deeper in the realm of no meaning. Screams of dying men filled every fiber of the blonde's body; choking sounds they made racked his body with disgust.

Staring at the dead bodies around him, the young prodigy could feel a churning in his stomach, as the blood spewed everywhere began rotting. Falling to both knees, the young teenager made a retching sound in his throat, coughing vigorously and nearly choking on the contents exiting his body. The only sanctuary the older Elric found was to clutch his stomach; as he unwittingly emptied his stomach of all contents. And, at the precise moment, the blonde thought it was all over, the godless realm slowed down; and Full Metal found himself staring into the reflection of, him. Only his reflection had blue eyes filled with rage, torture, and sadness.

Smelling the blood of others, Edward lurched forward, shutting his eyes. But, to his surprise, found himself on the train, outside, leaning against the door, staring into the palms of his hands. His eyes widened in fear at what he found; blood covering the metal of the auto-mail. "What the hell is happening to me?" Exhaling a mournful breath, Edward looked up to see a grey city, "Central, finally."

Instead of going straight to Central headquarters, the gold blonde decided to wait at least another day. So, Edward visited the home of Gracia and Elicia Hughes. The two were thrilled to finally talk with the Full Metal after a year; but their reunion didn't last long, as Edward decided to take his leave. Both insisted he stay in one of the guest rooms, but Edward generously declined with a apologetic smile. But before he stepped out their door, Gracia did insist that he take food with him, from her kitchen; which he gladly obliged to.

It was well passed nine o'clock before Edward settled in a small inexpensive hotel. There he unpacked a weeks worth of clothes, and stocked away the food Gracia had insisted he take. Staring out the window a good half hour, molten amber eyes glanced at the clock sitting upon the nightstand; before returning to his bleak stare. Rubbing the back of his neck, Edward slipped his black shirt over his head, tossing it onto the back of a chair. He began rummaging through the drawers of the dresser, pulling out a black, long-sleeved, turtle neck shirt; tossing that onto the bed. Unbuttoning hi black leather pants, Full Metal paused at the sight of scarring developing on the right side of his torso. Touching it with tentative fingers, he flinched at the feeling when his flesh hand made contact. Sneering in disgust, Edward opened up a smaller bag tucked away in hi suit case; quickly he pulled out bandages and ointment.

"Damn it, it's even worse than before." Walking into the bathroom with his supplies, Edward turned the sink faucet on. Wetting a washrag, he placed it on the scarred flesh, hissing as it began to sting. "Damn it!"

Riza Hawkeye walked the hall of Central headquarter quickly, carrying a folder in her arms. Turning a corner sharply, she bumped into the man she was searching for. Quickly she saluted, "Colonel, you need to have a look at this."

"Not right now, Hawkeye. I'm leaving for the day," the black-ravened haired officer answered coldly, stepping to the side of her. "Put it on my desk, I'll have a look at it in the morning."  
Turning to follow him, she pulled her gun out of its holster. "The Fuhrer said 'it's urgent.' Now, you need to take a look at it, sir."

Hearing the safety click-off, the man quickly turned to face her; thetaking folder from Riza. "Fine, I'll take a look at it." Taking the papers from inside the folder, obsidian eye read the words finely typed onto the white sheet. Suddenly, his breathing slowed, and he went pale.

"Colonel Mustang, what is it?" Riza asked, noticing the small changes.

"War."

* * *

Walking the streets of Central was the only way the prodigy knew how to pass time without Alphonse. Another way he passed time, was by going to a bar and drink the night away. And, that's exactly what he felt like doing, not to make the time go faster, but drink away the dreams. Looking up, Edward read a sign hanging above a door, 'Midnight Elegies.' 

"Ha, I wonder who and the hell came up with this?" he asked sarcastically under his breath; pushing the door open to find a medium sized room. The bar room was large enough for, at least a hundred and twenty people, on a good night. It was dimly lit, and carcinogenic smoke filled the entire room; but other than that, Edward found the atmosphere relaxing. Taking a seat at the back, where it was slightly darker than the rest of the bar; Full Metal waited for one of the young waitresses. Expecting a young girl with a skimpy miniskirt, and heavily put on make-up, Edward was taken back when a boy about his age asked for his order.

The boy noticed the gold blonde's expression, and asked annoyed. "Let me guess, you were expecting some young girl in a miniskirt, right?"

"Actually yeah, what can't get any desperate girls to work here?" Edward asked, a little annoyed him self; nonchalantly the blonde waved his hand in the air. "Whatever. A scotch no ice."

"I'll be a minute," the boy shot back coldly. But, as he walked away, he stopped and turned back to the alchemist. "The name's Elias. Elias Ledgar."

Not bothering to answer, the alchemist turned to look at the dance floor, watching a few of the couples that had come together; dance in each others arms. But, that was suddenly interrupted as the young man, Elias brought back his drink.

Leaning back in his seat, Edward finally noticed that Elias was a brunette that had reddish highlights, his skin a creamy brown, and his eyes a bright blue. Placing his elbows atop the table, the Full Metal smirked, "Why do you work here? Someone like you, I'd figure would be in the military."

Elias simply smiled in a patronizing manner, dropping three ice cubes into the glass cup. "I don't like being kept on a leash." Setting the drink on the table in front of the blonde, the brunette sat across from the other young man. "So, state alchemist, what are you doing in a place like this?"

Gold eyes stared into blue eyes in shock, "how did I give myself away?"

Watching Edward take the three ice cubes out of the drink, Elias smirked. "You didn't, the Flame Alchemist; Roy Mustang has been looking for you. He's got posters of you up all over; even a reward to call you in." He finished by picking up one of the ice cubes.

Sighing, the prodigy picked up his drink and placed it to his lips. Glancing toward the front of the room, the golden honey eyes immediately spotted the one person he didn't want to see; Roy Mustang. Swallowing, gold eyes glared at the oblivious waiter. "You called him, didn't you."

"No, of course not," Elias smiled defensively. Looking over his shoulder, blue eyes filled with content as they stared and studied the older man. "He's always stopped by after work."

"You like Colonel Asshole or something?" Edward cocked his head to look at the man, he had grown to hate.

"He's not all that bad, you just need to spend time with him, to understand him." Looking at the Full Metal with blue eyes, he defended Roy, "he's been through a lot."

"Whatever, I've always hated the guy. And, come to think of it, always will hate the guy." Finishing, Edward took a long drink of his scotch, ignoring the death glare Elias was giving him. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

Hearing Elias growl, honey golden eyes focused once more on the dance floor, while listening to the boys footsteps fade. Propping his left elbow on the table he leaned into his palm, his thoughts settling on the nightmares, and gleaming blue eyes that taunt him continuously. Suddenly, Edward tasted a coppery flavor in the back of his throat, than his vision blurred, and than he blacked out.

* * *

"Ugh... my head, damn it." cracking his eyes open, Edward growled as the sunlight hit him. "God damn sun," sitting up, he studied the room, realizing, he didn''t remember how he got back into his own room. 

Sighing nonchalantly, the gold blonde began undressing himself; wincing at the sudden soreness in his side. Staring at the bandage wrapped around his midriff, gold eyes lit up in disappointment, and complete aggravation. Cursing under his breath about not remembering to clean the scarring flesh, Edward walked lazily into the bathroom; where he stared tiredly at his reflection. Pulling his gold locks out of its tight braid, the prodigy suddenly came to the conclusion he wanted to do something drastic before reporting to Central Headquarters.

* * *

"Damn it!" 

Was all Riza heard before she walked into the office of Roy Mustang. "Is there something wrong, sir?" She approached with a small stack of papers.

The man looked at her with his darkened eyes, and a foul scowl across his lips. Leaning back into his chair, Flame ignored the question, and placed his arms across his chest. _I can''t believe this shit. Of all days, why today? _Leaning his head toward the side, Roy let his eyelids droop, beginning to regret what he had done earlier.

"Sir, was there something wrong?" Riza pressed again with the question, only a little more sternly.

"No, Hawkeye; there is absolutely nothing wrong."

Straightening her back, the blonde woman crossed her arms, and began to stare intently at the man sitting behind the desk. Making it clear she wasn''t about to let this die, or she was going to leave without an explanation of the Colonel's outburst.

Letting his head drop to the well furnished mahogany desk surface, Roy continued to curse to himself. Hitting his head a couple of more times against the wooden desk, the older alchemist looked up. "Could you just please leave, Lieutenant?"

"Very well, sir. But, I will have you know, I am not going to let this drop. I''ll be back in an hour to check up on YOU and the paperwork."

Damn it, why does this have to happen like this? Why the hell is she even pressing the matter? Why the hell was I dreaming about Edward Elric that way? The Colonel began screaming in his head as soon as the office door promptly shut, behind the Lieutenant. Straightening his uniform, obsidian eyes looked over the papers and glared at the typing. "God damn fucken paperwork. Who the hell came up with the idea anyways?"

Groaning in complete utter horror, Flame picked up one of his many pens and began signing his signature. "Damn, its going to be a long day. And the day hasn''t even started yet." He began whining, as he stared at the clock, located at the edge of the desk. Letting his head hit the wood once more, Roy Mustang began signing his name on the papers, without reading them.

Two hours passed since the Colonel had set to work, and in those two hours, the Flame Alchemist had only signed five of the thirty papers; before he decided it was time for him to take a break. And in those two hours, he had spent his time doodling on a notepad.

Walking right into the office, Riza immediately pulled out her gun, shot off six rounds; getting Roy''s attention. "Sir, may I need to remind you every ten minutes. Those papers need to be turned into the Brigadier General by the end of your shift."

"No Hawkeye, you don''t need to remind me. You just have the habit of WANTING to remind me every ten minutes." Roy mumbled the last of the sentence. Beginning to twirl the pen between his fingers, Flame yawned, then gazed toward the clock. _Still five fucken hours of the worst job I decide I wanted._

"And sir," Hawkeye broke into Roy''s childish thoughts. "Full Metal is here to see you."

"What!"

"Full Metal, sir."

"...Are you serious?"

Not answering, Riza walked to the door and motioned to the person outside the office.

Standing up, Roy waited with excitement as the blonde alchemist walked through the doors. He placed his perfect trademark smirk across his lips, only to have it smacked off his face as the image of the Elric appeared in front of his desk.

"Hey, Colonel Bastard."

Widening his eye, Roy stammered clumsily on his words. "Fu-Full Met-Metal, y-y-your... hair."

Running his gloved hand through gold hair, Edward smirked and blushed at the same time. "Yeah, thought I should give the change thing a go. You know, something new."

Nodding as if he understood what Full Metal meant. Roy took his seat, before he decided to collapse from shock. Putting the unfinished paperwork into a nicely stacked pile, the older man cleared his throat, and began to fidget with the pen he had been twirling. Side glancing to Riza, his obsidian eyes signaled the woman to leave; in which the she had gladly obliged to.

"So, Colonel; how have you been, you know, with me gone and everything?" Edward asked, his blush brightening to an amazing shade of red. Taking the usual seat on the couch, the blonde stared at the ravened black haired; than shifted his gold eyes to nothing in particular in the office. "I bet things have really quieted down with, you know, without us yelling around. The whole threatening to beat the shit out of each other"

Smiling, Roy leaned into his palm. "Actually, yes Full Metal. Things have quieted down without you. In fact, things have gotten quite boring, to be honest."

Feeling a small shock go through his body, Edward didn't want to know if it had been from nervousness, or if he had been completely happy about it. Shifting in his seat, the Full Metal felt the silver time piece in his pants pocket, rub against his hip. Sighing depressingly, he reached in; clutching it tightly.

"Edward, what is it?"

"I was just thinking. Would you like to go get a drink? I mean later, seeing that you have unfinished paperwork sitting in front you and all." The blonde smirked, eyeing the white sheets closely. Standing, he pretended to wipe the imaginary lint from the front of his shirt, and his shoulder. "So, you up for a couple of rounds of drinks, or are just too old; Colonel Bastard?"

Hearing the taunting deep inside the boy's throat, Roy smiled triumphantly. "Is that a challenge Full Metal? Because it would be embarrassing if I was to beat you again."

"Ha! Are you trying to make it into a challenge? I except the challenge, you old womanizing, immorally bankrupt Colonel; with a god complex."

Snickering, Flame simply stood up, holding his hand out towards Edward. "Until the last alchemist stands, Full Metal; and I'll be sure to be that alchemist."

Taking a firm hold of the older man's hand, Edward smiled in patronizing manner; that immediately made the colonel hard on. "We'll see about that Mustang." Simply letting go, the blonde took a step back; turning and left the older alchemist alone with his arousal.

"See you later, Hawkeye."

"Good bye Edward," Riza smile to the smaller blonde. Stopping in the doorway of the office, she pulled out her gun and waved it to Roy. "Sir, the paperwork needs to be done, now."

_Damn, this woman never gives up. _"Fine, I'll get it done." Taking his seat once again, Roy paused as a sudden question popped into his head. "Hey, Hawkeye."

"Yes sir?" she asked as she began shielding her gun.

"Have you been laid recently?"

Six shots rang off, and Roy sat rigidly in the middle of the six bullet holes. "Damn, you didn't have to do that! It was just a stupid question! A simple yes or no, would have been sufficient enough!" He yelled as Riza simply smiled and walked away, holding the gun lightly. _Damn fucken tringer happy bitch,_ he thought coldly.

* * *

"Why the hell is all this happening to me?" 

"Because you took everything away, and I want you to suffer like you made me." The voice accused the blonde, its wine eyes glaring coldly. Smiling it leaned forward, the lights of the streets behind barely making the lines of its face visible. It took a threatening step forward and asked tauntingly, "Do you really want to know the answers to all the questions you seek, Edward?"

Stepping closer, the body's shoulders shook with laughter; as one of the lights in the window of one of the buildings filled its features; and the honey gold eyes widened in terror. "... No…I-it can't be."


	3. Solace of Words

_**Solace of Words**_

_Chapter II_

_**I look at myself like a stranger, not knowing wither to kill or let live. Because, the eyes that stare back at me, hold no emotions on the other side of the mirror. They remind me of all the times I let you down, and taunt in soothing melodic words. Yet, that cannot take the love I feel for you away, because of what I had become.

* * *

**_

"…Al?" Edward heard him self whisper hoarsely, trying to focus on the hollow body of armor. Lolling his head to the side, the young alchemist stifled a moan of pain; the scarred flesh beginning to burn. Raising a hand to touch the wounded area, the blonde froze at the sudden feeling of vomiting. Swallowing the feeling away, gold eyes locked onto obsidian eyes. Feeling a hand touch his shoulder, Edward began focusing his eyes on the oval face of his superior. "What's going on; where am I!"

He heard the Flame Alchemist sigh heavily. "First of all, do you remember anything; anything at all, Edward?"

Blinking in confusion, Full Metal glanced to the other faces; Riza, Havoc, Armstrong, Alphonse, and his surprise Gracia holding a sleeping Elicia. Turning his head to look out the window, the blonde gasped realizing he was in a hospital. Furrowing his brows, he turned back to the colonel. "What the hell…h-happened to me?"

Hearing the boys voice waver, Roy simply turned and began speaking to Alphonse in a low whisper. Riza placed a comforting hand on the smaller blondes forearm, and smiled warmly, "its okay, Edward."

"And how and the hell is okay when I'm in a hospital?" he growled watching Mustang continue to speak with his younger brother in a whisper. Shutting his eyes, a small gasp escaped his lips as a sudden tightening in his chest forced Edward to lean to the side of the bed. The retching sound Full Metal made had everyone freeze in horror as the large puddle of blood stained the tile floor; and before anyone could move to assist Edward, Roy was already pulling blonde locks away from the pale child face, rubbing the boy's back in a soothing manner.

"Are you alright, Edward?"

Nodding, Full Metal pushed Flame away; wiping the remaining blood on his lips, with the back of his hands. Lying on his back, gold eyes searched the ceiling of the room for answers, but found only the silence. Taking a deep breath, Edward looked at his brother, "Hey, Al?"

"…Yeah, brother?"

"What the hell happened to me? What's going on Al?"

Alphonse fidgeted behind the military officers, and took a nervous breath. "Brother, Lieutenant Havoc found you unconscious on the street, there was a lot of blood… the doctors said that much blood loss should have killed you."

Furrowing his brows again, Edward scowled. "Are they sure all that blood's mine?"

Surprised at his brother's sudden mood change, Alphonse turned his head away. "No, I guess not…"  
Could you all please leave?" Roy asked angrily, not taking his dark eyes off the pathetic looking blonde. Listening to the shuffle of feet and the door shutting softly, the man paced menacingly in front of the bed. Taking a meditating breath, Roy chose the farthest seat from the bed, and sat down; still glaring. "What the hell is your fucken problem, Ed?"

"You've got some fucken nerve, Mustang!" Edward yelled back at his superior; straining to sit up, "What the hell IS your fucken problem, Mustang?"

Clenching his fist tightly, Flame stood kicking the chair in front of him over, "Do you want to know what my problem is? You Ed! You're my god damn problem!" Kicking the chair he was just sitting in over, Roy spun slamming his fist into the wall. Dropping both hands to his side, Flame looked back to the Full Metal, who was frightened beyond frightened. "Damn it, Ed I don't understand how you as his brother can treat Al that way."

Still shock by Roy's action Edward answered softly, "What do you mean?"

Feeling the anger rise in him, the smaller alchemist swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood shakily. "What the hell would you know? You have no family!"

"At least you've got family to care about wither you alive, hurt or crying!" Roy yelled his voice beginning to shake. Slumping against the wall, the older alchemist looked up to the white ceiling. "At least, I'm not stupid enough to push away the only person would support me."

Dropping to the floor on both knees, gold amber eyes studied the Colonel's face, realizing how hurt the man was; especially since it's been a year since Maes died. Maes was Roy's biggest supporter and one true family. "Mustang, I'm sorry…I'm…Sorry, about all of this."

"Whatever Elric," Mustang waved his hand nonchalantly. Pushing himself from the wall, Roy straightened his uniform, "Let me go talk to the doctors about your release."

Turning his head away, Edward grunted and stood; trying to climb back in bed. Pulling the covers over his legs, gold eyes shot up at the sound of metal clanking together. Leaning against the headboard of the bed, Full Metal put on a reassuring smile as his younger brother looked at him. Scratching the loose golden locks, the older Elric laughed nervously. Glancing down to the white covers, the short blonde cleared his throat, "hey, uh, Al… I'm sorry for… you know snapping at you like that. It's just that… well; I don't remember what the hell happened."

"It's alright brother, I completely understand. I know you didn't mean anything bad." Alphonse said in the most reassuringly voice, noticing his older brothers fidgeting. Walking towards the window the large suit paused, "Ed, I want to ask you something… But please, don't get mad at me…uh, do you like the Colonel?"

Not looking at his brother, Edward stared at the tile floor which was still covered with the blood he involuntarily spewed up. _Wh-what the hell…Why is Al asking me that? What's going on? _He immediately thought, as he swung his legs back over the side of the bed; standing slowly. "Al, why are asking that; what the hell is going on?"

"…Brother…it's just the two of act different around each other…it's just weird." Alphonse explained, helping the hospitalized alchemist change into regular clothes. Handing Edward the white button up shirt he had worn, Alphonse noticed how calm his brother was about the conversation; sparking his curiosity even more. Sighing, the young Elric finally looked at his brother's hair, "So, why did you cut your hair?"

"No particular reason, just thought I'd give the small change thing a try," the alchemist said solemnly; pushing the short blonde bangs out of his eyes, which stubbornly fell back in place. Grinning one of his famous grins, the gold eyes glinted with mischief. "Hey Al, think anyone will miss us if we decided to go out the window?"

"…N-No, probably not."

After they had snuck out the window the two brothers had walked the outskirts of Central, window shopping. Neither said anything, so they were both consumed by the silence, which put distance between them; that shouldn't be there. Turning a corner, Edward realized that he had just found his way back to the Midnight Elegies tavern, and with a hearty sigh; he entered the dimly lit room. After he had already walked half way across the dance floor, Full Metal remembered that Alphonse was still with him. Turning around, Edward smiled apologetically, "Al, I'm really sorry for bringing you here… we can go ahead and leave."

"… Are you sure?"

Laughing the armor walked past the dumbfounded blonde and sat in one of the booths. "Of course I'm sure, it's been awhile since we last hung out at a tavern, don't you think?"

"Yeah, maybe; a lot longer than we think," the blonde added on, taking a seat across from the brother he loved so much. Lowering his head in shame, Full Metal thought on his decision he had made the night his nightmare took his life and made it into hell. "Al, do you hate me?"

"What do you mean?"

Not wanting to look his brother in the eyes, Edward kept his head hanging in the shame he felt. "For quitting on the philosopher stone; for quitting on you, especially you; do you hate me?"

Staring at the blonde with pity, the suit thought on the question, but quickly answered. "Yes, Ed, I do hate you. But you have your personal reasons… and as for the ingredients…"Taking a shallow breath, Alphonse couldn't bring him self to say it; but forced it out. "We can't sacrifice a human, that is the problem; and that's just one of the failures we're going to have to admit."

Letting his gold eyes fill with tears, the prodigy looked up to his brother. "I'm so sorry Al, This is my entire fault; everything since the beginning. It was my entire fault… Your soul… can't feel pain, can't sleep…"

"Ed… don't do this… things happen."

Slamming his fist into the table, the blonde couldn't help but yell in pain. "This shouldn't have happened to you though! It should had been me, god damn it!"

Earning s couple of looks from the other people near their booth, Edward buried his face into the palms of his hands. Trying to contain the threatening of tears and sobs, the blonde failed to hear the voice of Elias. Feeling his tender, honey gold eyes turned to the bright blue eyes; that were filled with sadness. Wiping a single tear that had escaped, the prodigy sat straight and tried to smile, but failed miserably.

"Scotch no ice?" the boy's young voice said in a concern manner.

Shaking his head, "This time, make it vodka…" Finishing his order with a shaky voice, the young man couldn't help but take a soft hold of Elias's hand.

Blushing, Elias smiled and leaned forward, where he placed a soft passionate kiss on Edward's virgin lips. Alphonse on the other hand, couldn't help but squeak and be surprised beyond belief, that his brother would allow the boy to do that. Nervously looking away, the armor focused on the front of the room, trying to give the two their privacy for the moment. Seeing a flash of navy blue, Alphonse squeaked a little louder as the blue uniforms of the military approached their table without hesitation; and Roy Mustang's face filled with anger, jealousy, and hurt.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Full Metal!" Roy roughly pushed the brunette away and grabbed the blushing Full Metal by the collar. "God damn it, what the hell possessed you to sneak away after you were attacked?

Struggling to get free of the Colonel's grasp, Edward snarled in anger. "I don't see how you need to know that kind of information, Jackass!"

Pulling the blonde even closer, Roy glared into the gold eyes which glared back with as much anger. Glancing toward Alphonse, Roy pushed the blonde away and motioned for the armor to follow him out of the tavern; that did obediently. Immediately the blonde jumped up form the ground, and charged after the Colonel and his brother; who didn't seem to mind following the man.

"Al! Where the hell are you going with that fucken bastard?"

Stopping, the large metal suit turned to the older alchemist, and grasped his arm; not allowing the brother to approach Roy any further. "Brother, the Colonel's going to help me get a philosopher stone." Giving his brother a push so there was distance between them; Alphonse yelled angrily, "He's going to help me get my body back!"

Horrified by what he had just heard, Edward felt his knees give away, and Roy's hand grab firmly onto his shoulders. But, the blonde could care less about falling to the ground, what he cared about was that Alphonse was blaming him once again, and had gone to Roy Mustang for help. Of all people, his younger brother had gone to a man he hated, a man that would have cared less about him. Unconsciously leaning against Roy's chest, Edward felt the churning in his stomach, the burning in his chest, and than suddenly he lurched forward; spewing up his own blood.

"Brother!"

"We have to get him back to the hospital!" Roy yelled frantically.

Hearing the word hospital, Full Metal pushed away from Roy and ran down the street. "No way in hell am I going back to that place!" the blonde yelled, as he turned down an alley way; clapping his hands together, he swerved around and slapped his palms against the ground, transmuting a wall. Turning back around, Edward found one of the doors to the building unlocked and barged right in; making sure to lock it as soon as he closed it. Leaning heavily against the door, he panted, grasping his right side, as it began to burn and turn numb. Dropping to his knees heavily, Full Metal heard the muffled sounds of yelling and footsteps on the other side of the door. Smirking, he stood and began looking around the small room, which seemed to have been abandoned for at least seven years. _Home sweet home_, Edward thought half heartily.

Climbing a set of stairs, he wasn't surprised to find a bed, dressers, and furniture; but was surprised to find that blankets in one of the beds were still in good shape. Lying down, gold eyes searched the rotting ceiling, trying to figure out what he was going to do now. His brother and Mustang were sure to look for him, and he knew that Mustang wasn't going to get the military involved; so it would take them longer to find him. Placing his hands behind his head, the prodigy sighed heavily, trying to figure a way to get his stuff out of that apartment and ticket out of Central.

Turning on his left side, he propped his elbow up, and stared blankly at a rotting dresser. Concentrating on what to do to pass time until it was dark enough; amber eyes lit up with an idea. Clapping, Edward placed his gloved hands against the wooden floor and watched as the dresser was transmuted into a smooth sleek wooden instrument. Standing, the young man padded over to the instrument; picking it up, he strummed his fingers across the wires.

"Don't exactly remember where I've seen this before, but I do remember the sound it makes," he said happily, playing a few indescribable notes. Quirking his eyebrow, Edward growled in annoyance, "What the hell is it called?"

* * *

"We looked all over, where could he have gone?" Alphonse asked the man beside him, who equally shared the trouble feelings. "He shouldn't have gotten far, considering the shape he's in."

Sighing heavily, Roy ran shaky fingers through his black raven hair. "I don't know Al…But, I really do hope he's alright."

"Yeah, I hope so too."

* * *

**_Surrounded by the kindness of the dear people,  
I take off towards you.  
With those shining memories engraved in my heart,  
The wind pushes me to the road, which continues to the port._**

Smiling in an almost giddy manner; gold eyes watched fingers dance almost perfectly across the wires. Chuckling, Edward paused as he wrote the words down on a paper; "Can't believe I was able to come up with this," setting the pencil, he had transmuted down; he played and a few more note; while softly singing.

_**I think of that dear person.  
My feelings will last through the winter.**_

Tears began welding up in the corners of his eyes, as he continued to play and sing the song softly. Feeling his throat clench, Edward took a deep soothing breath, which immediately turned into a mournful sob. Stubbornly cursing under his breath about being pitiful, he roughly rubbed the tears away; with his gloved hands. Leaning against the wall heavily, he couldn't help but feel immediate resentment towards his younger brother; but just as it had come, it had gone. Quietly, Edward began humming, and just than the soft hum turned into full melodic words.

_**The glorious winter.  
Ah. The boat leaves for a destination unknown  
Without waiting for the flowers to bloom.  
No one will put out the quietly burning flame.**_

Laughing to himself, the prodigy picked up the transmuted pencil and quickly scribbled the words down. As soon as he did; he began faintly singing the song once again.

_**The little ship crossing the seas,  
Seeks a far away land with all its hope.  
Ah, my wish is but one,  
To entrust my eternal vow with those hands.**_

Standing, the blonde quickly strummed his fingers across the wires even harder, and the last of his lyrics popped into his head. Smiling he began singing slightly louder.

_**Now the sounding of the bell tells me its time.  
Ah anemone .Ah my anemone.  
I'm taking off to you towards the time  
When that hill blooms red.  
I'm taking off toward you,  
Ah, toward you.

* * *

**_

Pushing his gold bangs out of his eyes, Edward yawned lazily. _Damn, did I fall asleep? Ugh…I wonder how long I was sleeping?_ Rubbing the back of his neck, he averted his gold eyes toward the window. Heaving a sigh of disappointment, the prodigy couldn't help but mumble some words that would have usually had him in trouble. Lazily pulling combat boots on, he hadn't realized he kicked off; Edward stomped down the rotting stairs. Stepping on the fourth step at the bottom of the stair case, the blonde's auto-mail leg immediately fell threw, causing the young man to literally fly the rest of the way.

"God damn, fucken rotting shit!" he yelled, rubbing his aching forehead.

After walking the moonlit streets of Central, Full Metal realized that he had unconsciously walked to Central City Park; right across from the military headquarter. Slapping his bruised forehead, Edward winced in pain and bit his bottom lip from cursing at his own stupidity. Walking along the bank of the river going through the park, Edward flopped down and stared into the sky which was painted navy blue, pink, and purple. Sighing in a meditating state, he sat up and stared at the reflection of his face; noticing how depressed he looked, even when he tried to smile.

Smiling weakly, Edward turned to look at the building, and realized that the Colonel's office lights were still on. Glancing to the green grass shamefully, he let out a long deep breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. Groaning in defeat, Edward slammed his fist into the ground and mumbled, "damn it, better do it now, and after that I can make a run for my apartment."

Standing, Full Metal thrust his hands into his pockets and walked toward the building. Trying his best on not running away from his decision, Full Metal found himself already inside the building, and making his way up the stairs, toward the office he had never wanted to enter. Stopping outside, Edward took another deep breath, and let it out with painful moan.

"Now or I'm just a coward," he grumbled lightly, and knocked. Listening carefully, all he heard was a grunt, which he thought was his invitation to go in. Pushing the door open, Edward softly spoke, "hey, uh…Colonel, I just wan…" Freezing, the blonde looked at the older alchemist and without another second thought turned and ran for his life. _God! What the hell is going on? What the hell was the Colonel doing with…with…that guy?_ Shuddering at the thought Edward ran clumsily down the corridor reaching the top of the stairs, he paused to wheeze heavily, and clutch at his chest; which was now beginning to ache.

"Ed!"

Feeling his heart stop, the blonde looked down the corridor to see Mustang running after him. "God, get the hell away from me! I swear to anything but God I won't tell anyone on what I saw!" He screamed as he finally caught his breath and ran down the stairs.

"Damn it, Edward, just stop so I can explain everything!" Roy yelled angrily.

Pushing the doors open, Edward swiftly turned around and yelled back, only his voice was shaking like no other. "Why the hell would I want your explanation? This had nothing to do with me; what and hell would give you the idea I want an explanation for this?"

Stopping twelve feet from the younger alchemist, Roy gaped. _He doesn't want an… than what the hell is he doing here at this time of night? _Placing his hands on his waist Roy stared at the much younger alchemist. "That what in the hell are you doing here?"

Turning away from the mans fierce gaze, the Full Metal alchemist simply pulled the watch out, taking Flame's hand and placing the silver time piece into the mans palm. "I wanted to give you this back."

Mustang immediately felt his body go numb in surprise, and before he could regain his composure; Full Metal had already ran out the door. Dropping the watch to the floor, Roy let himself slump to the ground; "why, Ed?"


	4. Endearment

_Alright, here is the third chapter... it kind of strayed from the original story, but I will put it back on track. And remember if you have any pointers or ideas, you can go ahead and tell me in your reviews. Thanks.**

* * *

** _

**Endearment**

Chapter III

Pushing the door open, the blonde grumbled incoherent words to the empty apartment room. Throwing the brown jacket he wore to the side, and pulling his shirt over his head, the prodigy groaned in pain as the wounded flesh burned. Touching with his auto-mail hand, Edward slumped onto his bed where he cursed into the mattress loudly, "being pregnant sucks ass!"

Sitting back up, gold eyes searched the emptiness of the small apartment for answers about the earlier event. "Why the hell would Mustang want to give me an explanation about his personal life? Like I would give a shit about the fucken idiot, and whether or not he was just fucking some guy in the ass." Growling in irritation, Edward climbed off his bed and stormed into the bathroom; where he pulled out some pill bottles. "Damn vitamin's and this supplement for milk shit. How and the hell can women go through with this shit?"

"You're pregnant Full Metal pipsqueak?"

Full Metal froze, holding the vitamin bottles. Slowing his breath, the young alchemist slowly turned, only to be kneed in the stomach. Falling to his knees wheezing in pain, the blonde could feel his stomach churning. Taking deep breath's to calm the feeling of retching up his own blood, he managed to lift his head up and take a look into a face he was all to familiar with, "Envy…you…fucken bastard!"

"You are pregnant, that's a huge surprise coming from the likes of you. And I mean, you are a guy after all," Envy laughed as he kneeled in front of the weakened blonde; snickering he grabbed Edward around the throat, and tightened his grip. "To bad the kid won't be able to take its first breath, and its '_mother_' will be taking his last."

Becoming infuriated at the thought of Envy touching and harming his unborn child; the blonde clapped his hands together and transformed his auto-mail into the blade. Taking a hard swing at the homunculi, Edward sliced the soulless beings right arm off. Falling to the floor on his back, Edward wheezed even harder after the air was immediately knocked out of him; but he still managed to get to his feet quickly and run out the door.

"Damn that fucken pipsqueak," Envy said coolly, a grin beginning to spread comfortably across his features. Lifting the newly replaced arm, Envy moved the fingers in a testily manner. "That little brat's lucky this kind of shit is replaceable. And I don't see what the hell the other brat sees in him." Shrugging, Envy casually opened the nearest window and jumped out.

"Damn it, my…st-stomach really…hurts…and it's only been three weeks! That bastard better not had done anything to my child!" Edward cursed loudly into the empty street as he began to slow his pace. Turning a corner sharply on the street, the small blonde ran straight into Riza Hawkeye.

Blinking, the woman immediately noticed that Full Metal was shirtless, pale, sweating, and a large black, purple bruise swelling on his stomach. "Edward, are you alright? What happened to your stomach?" Not receiving an answer, she saw how frantic Edward's gold eyes were, "Ed, we need to get you to a hospital."

The gold blonde's head shot up in terror, "No! Please, not there, anywhere but there!" Gold eyes pleaded as they began to fill with tears, "Hawkeye… I think… someone's after me…a-and…I can't do anything to defend myself…"

"What are you talking about, Ed."

Lowering his head, Full Metal scanned the streets, but didn't seem satisfied with the fact they were the only ones. "Hawkeye, c-could…I stay with you?"

Taking her coat off, she wrapped it around the bare upper body of Edward, and led him towards her home. "C'mon, let's get you taken care of, and we'll talk about what's going on."

* * *

The next morning, everyone had reported immediately to Roy Mustang's office, where the man seemed malevolently irritated, and was more than ready to set someone on fire. Next to him stood Alphonse, who didn't seem bothered at all by the man's deathly aura, or the unexpected meeting. In fact, Alphonse was so at peace with this, that Havoc and the others figured he had something to do with it, but they weren't exactly sure. All they knew was, Riza was an hour and half late; and the Flame Alchemist was losing his temper by the minute. Another forty minutes passed, and the blonde lieutenant finally walked through the doors, light colored circles beneath her brown eyes. 

"Why the hell are you late, Lieutenant Hawkeye!"

Riza who was equally malevolently irritated, shot her answer back like venom. "I was comforting a pregnant human being; who had mood swings so fucken bad, they kept me up until three o'clock this morning!" And the others noticed as she yelled, she was slowly stepping forward in a malevolent manner toward their superior. "And they are not thrilled about their pregnancy, because they don't know how and the hell it happened, Roy Mustang!" Straightening her back, so she nearly stood as tall as Roy, she back handed, (_and I mean she literally back handed_) the man in the face. "And what, and the fucken hell, where you thinking, Roy Mustang; bringing pedestrians into headquarters?"

By than the entire office froze in terror, never had anyone seen Riza Hawkeye raise her hand to their commanding officer. Roy, him self stood shocked beyond belief, the left side of his face extremely red, and already beginning to develop a light shade of purple. Beginning to softly rub his face, the superior officer answered, "h-how did you know about that?"

Slamming her fists into her hips the woman immediately yelled, "Everyone get the fuck out, right now! Alphonse stay right were you are, I need to speak with you and Mustang."

Alphonse squeaked as everyone made a run for the double mahogany doors, and slammed it shut clearly announcing they had left the two to their deaths. Quickly pulling out her gun, she began firing rounds off at the two alchemists, who ducked and dodged bullets; as she purposely missed. Emptying her clip quickly, the woman softened her venomous glare, "Honestly, what the hell were you two thinking? Especially you Alphonse, Edward is your older brother. He sacrificed so much for you and that is how you repay him?"

Regaining his composure somewhat, Roy dared to speak to the trigger happy subordinate. "How do you know about all of this Hawkeye?"

Sighing in exhaustion, she instructed the two to quickly take seats with her gun; which they did with lightning speed. "Edward filled me on the details. I ran into him last night on my way home…" Sighing heavily, she quickly tried to break it to them smoothly, but found no words, "he was assaulted in his own home."

"What! Is he alright?" Both asked urgently, only to be shushed.

Crossing her arms, she looked to the floor solemnly, "he's fine…suffered a good kick to the lower abdomen. It bruised pretty badly, it may had done some damage inside his body…I wasn't to sure."

"Than why didn't you call me, or even take him to the hospital?" Roy demanded angrily, but cautiously.

Huffing in annoyance, she shot a deathly glare that meant 'shut the hell up, or die.' Closing her eyes, she pierced her lips together, "because, from what he told me, he no longer had anything to do with the military…or you."

Shifting nervously, Alphonse spoke timidly, "so he told you he turned his watch in?" Seeing her nod, the suit of armor simply sighed, "Lieutenant Hawkeye did brother say anything about his attacker?"

"…The attacker…Alphonse, it was the homunculus…Envy."

* * *

"I'm so fucken bored!" Edward yelled to the empty house, but than quickly frowned with depression, than smiled and frowned in anger. "Damn these fucken useless mood swings!" 

Pushing him self up from the carpeted floor, gold eyes delicately took in the scenery of the woman's home, and decided it was his type of taste. Glancing toward a large book case, Edward sighed and thought it would probably be better to indulge him self with romance novels. Walking towards the books, the phone rang at the exact moment; causing the Full Metal to jump and squeak with terror.

Picking it up, he answered with a shaky voice, "h-hello?"

"_Edward, I didn't think you'd pick up,"_ Riza said happily. "_Listen, can you get over to headquarters, like right now?"_

Pausing at the request, Edward knitted his brows together in questioning, "Why? I have nothing more to do with the military, and that asshole of a soldier." Hearing a sigh escape Riza instead of a retort, the younger blonde knew he had no other choice. "Oh alright; I'll be over in forty minutes."

"…Why forty, Edward, it should only take less than ten."

Blushing, Full Metal answered in embarrassment, "Because…I got to go to the bathroom…And…I…uh…I'm really hungry…" He finished softly.

Laughing at the boys embarrassment, Riza simply answered, "_Look, just to go to the bathroom, and you can eat when you get over here in the cafeteria, alright."_

"Yeah, yeah, alright, I'll be over in fifteen. I got to take care of one more thing, alright, Riza?"

"_Sure, just hurry up, Edward."_

"I can't believe Riza dragged me back to this damned place," Edward moaned to himself in a defeated manner. Turning a corner, gold eyes looked up to find the man he was hoping to avoid on his trip to headquarters; Roy Mustang "Damn it, she knew this shit was going to happen I bet."

"Yes, I did… but that's not why I wanted you to come Edward." Riza said in an almost cold manner, but quickly replaced it with a smile and a hug.

Gold eyes widened in complete surprise, Edward couldn't help but feel a part of him, become at peace. Smiling, the younger blonde pulled away and placed his fists on his hips. "So, what's this all about anyways? Why did you want me to come to headquarters; what the hell is going on?"

Riza ignored the boys question and motioned for him to follow her down a different hallway; in which he did without argument. Turning four corners, and going down five hallways; Riza had finally stopped and motioned Edward into one of the many cafeteria's headquarters had. Giving the boy a small shove towards the line, Riza walked to a part of the cafeteria no other soldiers where sitting; and where Edward was able to see her. Leaning her head on her right hand, brown chocolate eyes stared at nothing; but did focus on the incoherent image of the Full Metal.

"Alright, start talking lieutenant," Edward sat down across from the woman, removing a brown jacket he had been wearing. "C'mon, why the hell did you call me here?"

Before she even had a chance to say anything, the woman stared wide eyed at the boy; and began to blush an amazing shade of red. Smiling in an odd fondness manner, Riza straightened her back, "if you only were older, Edward."

Cocking an eyebrow in confusion, he looked at the other soldiers, and realized that they too were staring at him. Turning his gaze back to Riza, Edward immediately saw a spark of desire. Gasping, Full Metal immediately replied, "Hawkeye, quit looking at me like that… it's disturbing."

Blinking in surprise, Riza frowned but quickly replaced it with a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry Ed… it's just… well… you look good in that turtle neck shirt."

Blushing an even brighter shade of red than the Lieutenant Hawkeye, Edward gazed intently at his tray of food. _Damn it, why the hell did I even choose to wear this stupid shirt. Hawkeye even thinks I look good in it… And I'm eleven years younger than her._ Picking up his fork, he began indignantly picking at his food, but quickly pushed the thought to the back of his mind. Glancing back towards the woman, Edward timidly asked, "So… what's this all about?"

"Edward, I want you to talk to the Colonel. _You_ need to explain these turn of events to him. He's… confused about everything… he doesn't understand what's going on." Taking a deep breath, she glared daggers at the boy, "also, you need to talk to Al. I will not have you two arguing or fighting in any way. Got that Edward?"

"_WHAT! _No, I don't think I should explain shit to that jerk! Al's an understanding, but c'mon Mustangs… Mustangs… just an: immorally bankrupt, colonel, with a god complex."

"So, that's what you really think of me, is it Ed?"

Immediately the boys face paled a few shades, and his eyes widened in fear. Sighing in a defeated manner, Full Metal turned in his seat enough to look at the Flame out of the corner of his gold eye. "To what do I owe this unexpected surprise, Mustang?"

The man was obviously entertained by the fact the younger alchemist was trying to avoid everything. Frowning, Roy sighed and scratched the back of his head, "actually, I really want to talk to you, Ed. And please, let's not fight… I've already had to fight with someone earlier." He answered taking a daring glance toward the blonde woman sitting across from the younger man.

"Well, take a seat Mustang, as you can tell… I'm getting ready to enjoy a meal." Smirking he looked at the older alchemist with amusement, "that was _all_ so _generously_ given to me by the cafeteria staff."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever twerp," the man answered dryly. "Well, could you… _please_… come to my office when you are finished?"

"Sure thing Colonel Jerk off, _when_ I'm finished that is."

"Actually Edward," Riza immediately interrupted noticing the pissed off expression in the black ravened haired mans eyes. "I'm pretty sure the kitchen staff wouldn't mind if you took the tray with you."

"… N-no, I'm pretty sure… they would mind." Edward answered frantically, but immediately regretted as Riza slowly pulled her gun out, all the while her eyes glistening with blood shed. "…Eep!"

* * *

"She planned this, didn't she Mustang?" Edward growled as he carried his tray of food, "and you just ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time, right?" 

"Actually, I just ended up at the wrong time, and the wrong mood." Roy replied mono toned. "She's quite the strategist, you know. And, she knows how to get people to agree with her."

"So I see," the blonde retorted a small hint of sarcasm.

Finally reaching the Flame Alchemists office, both the alchemists sat in an annoying silence; which was only broken by the small clinking sounds of the fork and plate. Swallowing audibly, Edward glanced at the Colonel, to only see the man with his eyes closed peacefully. _Is… is he sleeping?_ Setting his cup down, Full Metal stood and stared questioningly. Waving his arms in the air after a few moments to get the man's attention, the blonde realized he was asleep. _Good, maybe I can make a run for it… but, man will Riza murder me later… well at least she will after the child's born. _Facing the door, Full Metal silently began creeping towards the door, trying his best not to make any loud sounds. Taking a look back, gold eyes went forward and studied the brass doorknob intently and watched a gloved hand take a firm hold.

"And where and the hell do you think you're going, Ed?" Roy asked a smile playing on his lips, and his head leaning comfortably against his left hand. "You weren't planning on running out without an explanation, now were you?"

Racking his head for an explanation, Edward felt the painful clenching his chest and felt himself loose his balance; which was quickly replaced by firm comforting hands. Leaning heavily against the muscular chest of his once superior officer, Edward sighed in exhaustion. _Damn it, Riza known this is way to much stress for me… why the hell did she bring me here?_ Pushing him self away, gold eyes looked to the maroon carpet of the office and shut his eyes softly, "how much did she tell you?"

"Well," Roy stated plainly, helping the blonde to the couch. "She told me that you left the military because… of last… night."

"What?"

The man shrugged, "I don't know how she came up with that… but, I knew very damn well that wasn't the reason."

Leaning into the softness of the couch, Edward moaned in delight; but quickly coughed to cover it up. Seeing that Mustang didn't notice or care, Edward leaned into his left hand with an exhausted sigh. "What else did she tell you?" Cocking his head a bit, Edward studied the colonel.

Also sighing in exhaustion, Flame leaned against his wooden desk, crossing his arms lightly. "That you were assaulted in your own living quarters, by that… damned homunculus…" Pausing, Roy turned his head in thought, and steadily lowered his arms to his sides. After seven minutes of silence, the commanding officer clicked his tongue and ran a gloved hand through thick black raven hair. "What the hell was the bastards name again, Ed?"

"Envy, dipshit," the blonde growled, annoyed at the man's lame attempt of humor. Shutting his golden honey eyes softly, the former state alchemist couldn't help but chuckle; _so, this is what she was planning. Damn, that Riza Hawkeye really is one hell of a strategist. _Opening his eyes, Edward found the Flame Alchemist staring at him with fondness in his eyes; and the little spark of desire he had seen in Riza's. Turning away in embarrassment, Edward weakly demanded. "M-Mustang, don't look at me like that… its… it's…"

"It's what, Ed?" Roy said in a calm demeanor voice, "Embarrassing?"

Trying to regain his composure by focusing on another source, Edward could feel the blood rushing to his face, which immediately made him feel faint. Taking deep meditating breaths, the blonde felt himself regaining his composure, and answered softly, "… it's… not you." Finishing his soft spoken words, honey gold eyes widened, as two arms wrapped around his shoulders. "M-Mustang… w-why are you-?"

But the question was cut off by a soft moan escaping his lips; as Roy softly kissed the back of the young blonde's neck. Tightening his hold on the young blonde, the man leaned his forehead against Edwards left shoulder, and closed his eyes with a sigh. "Damn it… I'm not going to lie to you… Ed… I was scared when she… told me… Damn it, I was so afraid."

"But… Why?" Was all Full Metal could form on his lips, before Flame pulled away and walked out of the room. Gold eyes watched the retreating soldier close the door behind him, and the soft fading footsteps, that only led away from the office. _What the hell is going on? Why is everything starting to fall apart?_

"Sir, where are you going?" Riza questioned Roy as he walked toward the building exit. "Sir, where are you-?"

"I'm taking a walk, is that alright with you Lieutenant Hawkeye?" the man shot back angrily, stopping the woman in her tracks.

Widening her eyes in distress, she immediately covered her mouth, "oh no, Ed!" Turning, she quickly dashed down the hallway toward the Flame's office, where to her surprise, sat Edward. The boy was obviously speechless, and deep in thought. His honey gold eyes focused on nothing in particular, except incoherent images and words. "Ed, are you alright?" she asked cautiously, not wanting to cause the blonde a nervous breakdown.

Blinking, Full Metal looked at the woman and smiled sheepishly, "yeah, I'm fine… it's just… I'm extremely confused about a lot of things right now." Fidgeting with one of the gloves he had taken off, Edward stood and slipped it on passively, "but, I think I'm going just go back to your place and rest for while."

"… Yeah, you go ahead and do that… and… Ed, I'm really sorry about… causing… this." She apologetically hugged him, and smoothed a couple of gold blonde strands from his face. "… I didn't mean for… any of this to happen."

Edward looked at her and grinned, "What are you talking about; you don't need to be sorry for anything."

"Uh… alright, but you should get home and lie down. I'll be home in a couple of hours."

Nodding in understanding, Edward started for the door, but paused. "Hey, Riza… where did Roy go?"

Smiling she answered slyly, "he said he was going for a walk, but I say went to that bar… in the out part of Central I think."

* * *

_I don't believe what I had just done! What the hell is wrong with you Mustang!_ Roy mentally cursed himself, as he stormed the slums of Central; ignoring the glances the bums were giving him. He didn't seem to care that he was not really heading in any general direction, and that his entire body was just acting on its own stress. Sharply turning a corner, Roy's eyes focused on the sign that hung above a door, _Midnight Elegies._

"Hell, it's a sign from the heavens," he smirked sarcastically. Pushing the door open, the man laughed and let the door shut behind him.

* * *

Edward had walked the streets of Central, clearing his head; and trying to figure out what he was to do about the shape shifting homunculus. How the soulless being knew where to find him, he didn't exactly know, but he did know he was going to find a way to keep himself and the unborn child safe. Performing alchemy was obviously affecting his health and… possibly, could affect his child's. Taking a look to his left, gold eyes immediately spotted a familiar face with red eyes and brown skin. 

"Scar!"


	5. Reminiscence of Agony

_**Reminiscence of Agony**_

Chapter IV

**_Ours sins are what remind us endlessly in the depths of our dreams. Knowing that, we can't rewrite what we had done, ans change what we don't want to see. They force us to reminiscence the agony of not being able to make the decision to save those we love. And so, that love still lingers in the depths of our hearts, becomes a sin in itself.

* * *

_**

"Edward, I thought I'd find you here in Central." The ishbalan replied smoothly.

"What do you want here Scar?" Edward asked angrily, backing away from the man that approached him. Scanning his escape routes, the blonde intently kept his guard up, but backed away cautiously. He wanted to escape without the use of alchemy, especially since he knew it caused his body harm. "What the hell do you want? Did you come here to finish me off?"

Stopping at the question, Scar hesitantly looked away from the young man, "No… I came here… to speak with you."

Raising an eyebrow in confusion, Edward stared at the ishbalan; "than… you probably have a good explanation for what's happening to me, huh?" Feeling his anger begin to boil, the young alchemist readied his hands; "You had something to do with it, didn't you?" He yelled, earning a painful expression from the man before him.

"Edward, I didn't come to fight; and besides you know as well as I do, if you try to use your alchemy… your just hurting yourself… and the child." Seeing the surprise look on Full Metal's face, Scar sighed again and answered the question the blonde had demanded before. "Yes… I have a… explanation for what's happening… But, I assure you, I have nothing to do with it."

Feeling his anger beginning to subside, Edward leniently stepped toward the man; and placed a hand on his arm. "How… how do you know about all of this? Why is it happening to me?"

"Not here, there's a tavern not far from here, called the-!"

"The Midnight Elegies," Edward finished softly.

The Flame Alchemist had sat in the Midnight Elegies tavern for half of the day, nursing the drink he had ordered when he first walked in. His thoughts continuously dwelled on what he had done his office, and why the blonde had not tried to push him away. _I don't understand any of this anymore…What the hell was I thinking when I did that? But, I don't understand why Ed, didn't even bother trying to…_Pushing his thoughts aside, he mentally kicked himself for ignoring every woman that had hit on him since he had entered. Sighing in frustration, Roy heard the bar door open, and for the first time looked to the bodies that entered; much to his surprise, it was Edward and following was the wanted ishbalan, Scar. _What the hell is Ed doing with the ishbalan?_

"C'mon Scar, give me your explanation, and get the hell out of Central." Edward demanded angrily as they made their way toward the back of the room.

Roy couldn't help but see a smile spread itself across the ishbalan's face, "I never knew you cared so much for my well-being, Full Metal."

Following the two towards the back, Roy quickly scanned the area to get closer without them knowing. Spotting a dark area, Roy quickly maneuvered his way towards it, getting in earshot of the conversation, and a perfect view of both their faces. They both didn't seem to well at seeing each other, and at the same time held a business like expression.

"Alright, explain what the hell is going on," Edward demanded as soon as they gave their orders and they were left alone. "How and the hell do you know about all of this, and what kind of information do you have?"

Scar grimaced at the blonde's tone, but complied with his demands, "alright, I'll get straight to the point. Someone had done a human transmutation on you some time ago-"

"How and hell is that even possible without me knowing? What kind of sick joke are you trying to pull Scar?" The blonde began asking even more angrily, slightly raising his voice. "And why and the hell would someone go through the trouble performing that kind of alchemy?"

"Research, Edward," Scar replied coolly. "Scientist just wanting to see what they could do, therefore, test subjects are needed."

Growling towards the ishbalan, not caring if he was capable of killing him on the spot, Full Metal grabbed him by his shirt. "How and the hell do you know all of this?"

Roy, who had watched Edward grab the man, flinched into a ready position, waiting for the man to attack the blonde. But, was surprised when the ishbalan simply smiled and than grimaced, ignoring the fact Edward was more than ready to beat the hell out of him.

"Edward, the reason you didn't know of this… is because you don't remember."

Pulling out a piece of paper, scar laid it out for the young alchemist to see; and scribbled onto the paper was a transmutation circle. "They performed alchemy to make you forget it ever happened," reaching back into his pocket, Scar pulled out another piece, and sympathetically looked at the young man. "That there is the transmutation circle the used… to give what you weren't able to have in the first place."

Leaning back in his seat, Edward eyed the ishbalan and while placing a hand on his stomach; he glowed with pride. "Even so, I am going to have to give them credit for picking me… but, in a way it still disturbing." Looking down at his stomach, the blonde asked demandingly, "why did you take the time to find all this information, Scar? What do you gain by telling me this?"

Scar simply scoffed and focused his eyes toward a darker part of the tavern, where he seemingly sneered. Taking one last drink of the water they had received, the ishbalan stood and began a walking away from the blonde; "…absolutely nothing, Edward."

In the darkness of the room, Roy watched the wanted man leave, and Edward simply scowl. Taking the situation into his hands, the Flame quickly returned to his seat at the bar counter. _What the hell is going on? And why was Scar…helping Ed? I need fucken answers damn it and the only person I can get them from is Ed. But, the little twerp won't even talk to me anymore. _Sighing in frustration, Roy glanced to where Edward was seemingly still sitting, his face filled with thoughts of the conversation; and holding back anger which he wasn't able to let go. Signaling for the bartender, Roy paid for his drink and walked out of the Midnight Elegies and into the street where he didn't blend in quite well.

"Sir, where have you been?" Riza questioned irritably, "You have urgent papers waiting for your signature, and need to get to the General by the next hour."

Roy smirked at the woman and answered plainly, "don't worry Hawkeye; I'll be staying late this evening to finish whatever else papers that need to be filed."

_What the hell is wrong with Mustang?_ Riza stared at the man and didn't bother to question his motives for staying so late to finish paperwork. Simply saluting, the lieutenant walked away from the office and down the hallway.

Shutting the door and locking it behind him, Roy slumped onto one of his couches, where he seemingly thought of Edward's encounter with the wanted ishbalan. Running a ungloved hand through his thick raven hair, Roy's obsidian eyes search the ceiling of his office, only noticing things he had never really noticed there before. Like, there was crack in the far right corner of his desk, along with how the paint seemed to be chipping away in various spots. Focusing his face into a thought of why he never noticed the various items before, Roy heard the faint knocking at the door.

Straightening his uniform and already mussed hair, Roy cleared his throat. "Yes… uh, come in." Hearing the doorknob jiggle and than a loud bang on the door. Roy slapped himself in the forehead, for not remembering he had locked it on his way in. "…Hold on a minute," he answered irritably making his way towards the door. Upon opening it, obsidian eyes widened in surprise as the smaller man looked up at him.

"Hey, I need to talk to you about some things, and I want you to give straight forward answers." Edward demanded before the Colonel could even get a word out, "And no trying to dodge, asswipe."

Completely taken back by the unexpected surprise of the blonde coming to his office, and the demand of explaining uncertain concepts of their first encounter; Roy gave a small squeak. "Very well, Elric. Come in and have a seat, I'll be with you in a moment."

Watching the man quickly leave the office, Edward smirked in satisfaction. He had the great Flame Alchemist on the run from him, and he was going to torture the man beyond belief with their encounter, but he also needed to get answers from the man. Walking towards the couches placed in front of the mahogany desk, Edward flopped down, knowing well Roy was going to stay away until he left; but the blonde had nothing better to do, and so he waited.

Roy had walked into the mess hall, and decided to wade out time there, especially since he had already told Riza he was going to be staying late. Picking up a cup of juice, Roy leaned back into the seat, where he again stared nonchalantly into the ceiling, noticing another few various items. Some more cracks, a few other places paint was beginning to chip, and brown spot where water seemed to be seeping through. Laughing at how pathetic he was, Roy looked around and noticed that the mess hall was nearly cleared out; except for five soldiers and the kitchen staff.

"Hmm…maybe I should just face my fears and…wait for my death." Laughing nervously, Roy stood and began a slow walk back towards his office. All the while he mumbled to himself under his breath, only a few words were audible, 'fucken moron,' and 'pathetic.' Turning the door knob to his door, Roy realized the lights were out, and everyone was gone for the day. Sighing in relief, Flame stepped in flicking the light switch on only to nearly die of fright; there on the leather couch with fingers laced together was none other than Edward Elric.

The blonde smirked and waved a hand, "thought you got rid of me, didn't you Colonel Useless?"

"Uh…Ed, I…um…I…didn't mean for any of this to-?" Stopping short of his sentence, Roy completely gave up on trying to explain himself. "Alright, what do you want to talk about, Ed?"

"The kiss," the blonde replied smoothly.

Roy shrugged, "what's there to talk about? It was definitely something that shouldn't have happened."

Edward grimaced but quickly replaced it with a serene kind of smile, "I came here to let you know, that the…um…" The blonde's wall of confidence had definitely fallen, because a light shade of pink quickly developed on the bridge of Edward's nose.

Roy caught it before the young man was even able to turn away from him. Smirking in victory, Roy approached the alchemist, taking a light firm hold of his jaw; "you enjoyed it, didn't you, Ed?"

Pulling away, Edward blushed even brighter, but quickly composed himself. _Damn it, I'm losing the upper hand. Shit, I got to torture him with this; I have to get back at him. _Smiling in an almost sweet manner, Full Metal ran the back of his gloved hand down Roy's jaw, and than back up again; only to earn a light blush as well. "You enjoyed it, didn't you Colonel?" he asked seductively, looping his auto-mail arm around the man's neck, pulling Roy towards him so that their lips were mere centimeters away from each other. "Answer me Roy Mustang; you also enjoyed it didn't you?"

Hearing the demanding in the young blonde's voice, Roy couldn't help but chuckle lightly. "What do you want to hear, Ed? That I did enjoy it and want to do it again; or that I was doing it out of sheer fun?" Closing his eyes peacefully, Roy opened them up and looked away from the golden orbs. "To tell you the complete truth, Ed…I couldn't really tell, even now."

"That's bull and you very god damn well know it, Mustang."

Laughing, Roy took a soft hold of Edwards' face again, and began pulling it towards him. "Is that what you think?" Gently kissing the blonde, Roy looked into his face to watch the boy's expression, to only see that Full Metal was enjoying every bit of it. _So, he did enjoy it the first time…but, what if he's just messing with me? He is pretty good at that._

Pulling away from his ex-superior, Edward back handed the man and stormed out of the office, before yelling over his shoulder. "You Fucken, Morally Bankrupt, Womanizing, Jerk, With A God Complex!"

Laughing even harder, Roy couldn't help but yell back; "You Forgot Pedophile, Shrimp!"

_That fucken bastard making me the fucken village idiot, I'll get him, if it's the last thing I should fucken do. _Full Metal yelled in his head as he made his way back towards Riza's home. But all the while the blonde continued to rant in anger and embarrassment; he didn't realize that someone was following him on foot, so therefore he didn't realize he had been knocked over the head with something extremely solid. All Edward was able to make out through his clouded pain was how he wanted his child to grow up with out so much pain. And he also realized that the sidewalk felt softer than he expected as he collided with it.

"Hmm…I wonder where Ed is." Riza asked her self through a half sigh, as she began playing with her food. _He said he was going to be here resting…but, no one was home at all._

"No, leave Nina alone, she doesn't deserve this!" Edward screamed at the top of his lungs, trying to reach for the red headed girl that was four years old. Slumping tiredly to the ground, the blonde couldn't help but cry in desperation as the silhouette continued to hold onto the girl. "Damn it, she doesn't deserve this you bastard! She's just a little girl, leave her the hell alone!"

"Ha, and why and the hell do I have to do that? I mean she is supposed to be dead after all, right?" It snickered menacingly, showing off its white gleaming teeth. "And besides, what is she to you, Full Metal?"

Edward growled lowly in the back of his throat, trying to make a plan for escape and to save Nina. But, the pain in his chest was too much for him to take, it made all his nerves numb, so he couldn't move at all; but it still made the pain unbearable. _Damn it, what the hell am I going to do? Nina maybe dead in the real world…but I can't let her suffer in this world either…I just can't! _Taking a look back to the silhouette, Edward couldn't help but realize the figure's voice was all too familiar to him; and yet he didn't remember who it was. Making a fist with his auto-mail, Full Metal punched into the concrete cracking it with his force; and began pushing himself up.

"Damn it, what the hell do you want from me? What the hell do I have, that you want?" Edward demanded angrily, trying to force his legs to move, but only managed to stagger every which way. Becoming lightheaded, he couldn't help but feel nauseous, and a churning in his stomach beginning to find its' way to the back of his throat. "No, not right now…it hurts too much…I don't want to throw up…it hurts to damn much."

"What's the matter, Edward dear; do you feel sick?" It asked mockingly, only with a more feminine voice, "Do you want some medicine for you stomach."

Smirking, Edward found the right moment to grasp the figure around the throat; "you let your guard down." Squeezing tighter, Edward forced the figure to drop the limp body of Nina, and threw the figure down. Quickly picking up the little frail body of Nina, Edward ran in any direction to get away from the silhouette.

"You can't run from me Full Metal! No matter where you go, I'll always find you! Because the child you are carry in your body belongs to me!"

The blonde screamed in pain, his breathing becoming erratic and heavy. Riza had quickly rushed into the guestroom to find the younger blonde thrashing violently under his bed covers, screaming for his life, and his skin pale beyond color. Her brown eyes filled with concern and hurt as she watched Edward continue to scream in desperation, her heart broke into two.

Pushing her fear to the back of her thoughts, Riza ran to the side of the bed. "Ed! Ed, you need to wake up! Please, Edward open your eyes!" Shaking his shoulders roughly, the woman knew of one way to get the blonde to wake up, "please forgive me Ed, but you need to wake up." Slapping the blonde, Riza watched as the boy's eyes shot wide open and he flew straight into her arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

"…Ri-Riza…don't let them…take my child…pl-plea-se, don't let them…take it away." He sobbed into her shoulder, his tears continuing to fall freely. "…God…pl-please don't…let them take it."

Her eyes widened in horror, Riza soothingly stroked the golden locks, shushing softly. "I won't Ed, I'll never let them take your child away…I won't let them do anything to you or your child."

Holding onto the young blonde, Riza never felt so heart broken by the sight of someone waking from a nightmare; until now. Edward was usually strong and determined, now here he was, shaking in fear and crying uncontrollably like a child. Never had the lieutenant wanted to see someone so determined cry like the way he did, that night. Pulling him deeper into the hug, Riza began humming softly; lulling the blonde back into the soothing slumber he had only found horror in. Caressing his soft skin, and soothingly combing his golden hair, Riza felt herself on the verge of tears, as she continued to watch the boy cry himself to sleep. Letting one single tear slide down her creamy peach skin, Riza let out a single mournful sob, before laying the young alchemist down.

The next morning, Roy sat in his office and for the first time with no papers waiting for his approval on his desk. Nonchalantly glancing around his room, he finally realized that he had not seen the first lieutenant; sitting straight, Roy looked toward the doorway; expecting the woman to walk in with the stack of papers. Crossing his arms, he frowned deeply, _where the hell is she? _Waiting another ten minutes Roy had enough, slamming his hands onto his desk; the phone rang.

Picking it up, Roy took a breath, "This is Colonel Mustang."

"Sir," a woman's voice spoke tiredly.

Raising an eyebrow in confusion, Flame answered. "Lieutenant Hawkeye, where are you? You should have been here twenty minutes ago."

"I understand that Colonel, but…I can't come in today." She continued to speak tiredly, "its Edward…please, no questions. I just need you to know that I will no be in today…and maybe tomorrow."

Letting his breath hitch in his throat, Roy immediately retorted, "I coming over, I don't care what you think Hawkeye. But, I am coming over to check on Ed myself." Hearing the woman's breath also catch in her throat, Mustang waited for her to yell back.

"Damn it Roy, no! What is he to you anyways?" She asked coldly.

Before continuing to argue with the lieutenant over the phone, Roy heard Edward yelling in the back ground; and than suddenly, Riza screaming for the young alchemist to wake up; "Lieutenant? Hawkeye! Riza! Damn it, what the hell is going on? What's wrong with Ed? Riza, answer me damn it!" Upon hearing the line go dead, Roy slammed the phone into the receiver and quickly ran out the door.

Reaching into his pants pocket, he quickly pulled out some car keys and fumbled with it before unlocking the door. Again fumbling with the keys in anger and worry, Roy turned the ignition, starting the car. _Damn it, what's wrong with Ed? Why didn't she tell me what the hell is going on with him? God, I hope they're both okay. _Sighing heavily, Roy tried to keep the speed limit, but his thoughts kept going back to the argument and what was wrong with the blonde; but he just couldn't focus. Reaching Riza's home, Roy knocked, but upon no one answering the door, Roy turned the knob which was surprisingly unlocked. Looking around, he saw that nothing seemed out of the ordinary, everything seemed perfectly fine; until a loud scream of horror filled the entire house, and Riza began yelling frantically.

Running up the stairs and fast as he could, Roy threw open one of the doors to reveal Riza trying to calm a thrashing and screaming blonde. Edward's face was contorted into pain and horror as he continued to scream and kick Riza off of him, who was also obviously, horrified herself.

"Hawkeye, what's wrong with him?"

Brown eyes shot up towards the doorway in surprise, but quickly filled with anger; "Damn it Mustang, I told not to come. Why the hell did you have to come, when you are not needed?" Noticing Edward was calming; Riza took the opportunity to take the prodigy into her arms and began to rock him gently, like a small fragile child.

Flame watched in stupidity as to why the Full Metal needed to be rocked like a child, but didn't bother to question the lieutenant's motives to calm him even further. Daring to step further into the room, Roy sat in a chair that was seated next to the bed, and sat as if he didn't want to disturb the moment. Watching the contorted face turn into an expressionless face, Roy felt his gut clench in concern. _Damn it…what the hell is wrong with him?_

After ten minutes of Riza rocking and talking to Full Metal through hushed tones, she laid the boy back into the comfort of the bed. Pushing back some stray strands of hair, Riza remembered that Roy was still there. "Why did you come, sir? He's not your concern anymore, I don't understand why-?"

"Just once, tell me what's going on here," Roy broke into the woman's sentence, his voice filled with concern and worry. "Please, just this once Riza, tell me what the hell is going on." Softening his voice, Roy looked away from the woman, and grimaced.

"Sir," Riza started but paused as Roy turned and started for the door; "Mustang?"

Hand on the doorknob, Roy kept his face hidden as he spoke solemnly; "just tell Ed that I came by and wanted to talk." With that the colonel opened the door and stepped back out onto the street; leaving the speechless Riza to herself.

"…What did he want to talk about, Riza?" Edward's voice suddenly broke through the silence of the house.

Looking to the top of the stairs, her eyes studied the pale body of the former state alchemist. Smiling, Riza lowered her brown eyes and spoke softly, "he was worried about you…and…I'm not…really sure what it was, Ed." Turning her gaze back to the smaller blonde, she smiled "let's get you back to bed, Ed."

* * *

_Alright, all fan lovers...here is the fifth chapterinstallment of my story. Remember if you have any problems with the story, do not...I repeat, **DO NOT **hesitate to complain. And I am always up for ideas. Also song ideas would be great._


	6. Lacerated Memories

_Alrighty. Here is the Fifth Chapter. Sorry it took so long to post. But, damn it, some people around me are so picky. Not you guys. You guys have permission to be picky. That's just the unwritten rule, right. Any ways enjoy. Let me know what you think; also i would really appreciate it if you everyone told me my errors, typos, y'know stuff like that._

**Lacerated Memories**

Chapter V

* * *

It had been two days since everything had fallen to pieces. In those two days, the rain pounded the windows of every home in Central City, of every building rooftop with non-stop tears of angels with only regret to keep them alive. The sky remained grey, darkening the city and all those who dwelled in it. The atmosphere of the rain only brought pain, and sadness to all those that are more vulnerable to its tears, it cries of loss. And none was more vulnerable than, Edward. In the two days, the young received very little sleep because of the nightmare; but, there was one nightmare that continually burned to the back of his thoughts. A dream, that tore through his soul causing thick rivulets to bleed, to drown him in his own blood. It bloomed into sudden thoughts of suicide, because it reminded Edward of everything he's failed, of all the pain he caused, and of never receiving… the love he's longed for.

The sight of the once proud alchemist broke Riza's heart. She watched the young man's nightmares worsen each time he close's his honey gold eyes. The woman even watched Edward try and kill him self, but she quickly talked the blonde out of his harmful thoughts; and watched his stares turn blank; expressionless.

But the third day was different. Still the rain remained, but it was reduced to a harmless drizzle. The October sky glowed with fiery reds, oranges, and yellow through the small layers of cloud; but that wasn't what made everything entirely different. It was Edward. He had awoken that morning with a serene expression, his once blank stare full of life again, though he still remained quiet.

Riza had awoken only to find Edward outside in the garden, tentatively touching the dew covered lilies, smiling pleasantly. "Good morning, Ed. How did you sleep last night?"

Glancing toward the house, Edward smiled sheepishly. "Fine. Everything was… fine… I guess… well, everything… stopped this morning. All my nightmares… gone." Laughing nervously, the prodigy sat next to the flowers in the wet cold grass, frowning sadly.

"Edward, are you alright?" Riza asked worriedly, "don't you want to come inside? You'll catch a cold out here."

"In a minute… I just want to be outside after so long."

Nodding in her understanding his request, Riza reluctantly left the alchemist alone in the garden. She had taken a seat in the kitchen after making herself a hot cup of tea, waiting for the Full Metal Alchemist to enter. Riza still felt unsure of the young man's condition, but she forced all the negative thoughts out of her head and focused on how he said his nightmares were gone; not over. Sighing tiredly, the lieutenant decided to wither to leave Full Metal alone for the day, or if she should at least stay one more day to make sure if his improving condition. Gazing to the sky out the window, Riza couldn't help but smile suddenly as she pictured Edward surrounded by the blooming lilies. Her thoughts immediately dissipated at the sound of the backroom door opening and shutting softly.

"Riza," Edward's voice broke through the silence. "I was thinking out… outside… maybe, it about time for me to head home… start all over, y'know?"

Jerking back at the sudden suggestion of leaving, Riza argued. "No! Edward, there shouldn't be any reason for you to leave! Why?" Standing, she stared at Edward furiously and yet with sadness in her red-brown eyes. Slowly, she walked toward him, embracing the young man around the shoulders' tenderly. Riza's voice faltered as she spoke softly. "… Please, Ed, I want… I want to help you through this. I-I don't want you to go through this alone."

"… Understand…" Edward said roughly. "I have nothing more to do with Central… or the military. I'm not a dog of the military anymore." Shutting his eyes in an apologetic manner, Edward smiled in a delusional way, "besides, I have no one else here. No one."

Gasping at the hurtful words, Riza felt her heart sink. "What do you mean 'no one else'? What about Alphonse? What about me?" pausing she pulled away at arms length and hardened her eyes. "What about Roy? He cares, he worries about you."

"… I'm sorry," was the only response the young prodigy could bring himself to say, before he turned and walked back to his room. _It's just like with Al, when I just quitted on him. I guess that's all I'm good for; pain. Causing others so much unwanted pain._

In Central headquarters, the entire building was in uproar as everyone rushed around with documents; especially in the Fuhrer's office. Most of the documents that were being rushed around were the threat of war against Drachma in the north. From the news Amestris military had been receiving were their own people were violating the treaties, and another was Drachma apparently became fed-up by the treaties. Which ever one was the truth, the commissioned officers knew they wanted to avoid war, or any kind of border skirmishes. Also, another reason the entire building was full of life; was ther had been a rumor of a possible promotion to the rank of Brigadier General. But the candidates of the promotion were only going to be granted to all state alchemists', which narrowed it to possibly seventy to eighty men. That enraged a few of the higher ranking officers.

"Colonel Mustang?" Havoc ventured as he watched his commanding officer furiously sign documents. "Colonel Mustang, you have a phone call from Lieutenant Hawkeye."

Sighing irritably, Roy reached up to rub his left temple. Taking the phone from Jean, Mustang took a long deep breath and let it out slowly. "Yes, Colonel Mustang speaking."

"_Sir_," Riza answered annoyed. "_I'm calling to let you know, I will be in later this after noon_."

Straightening his posture, Roy raised a black eyebrow in question. "Is that so, lieutenant? How is Edward fairing, better I hope."

Laughing softly she answered, "_he's fine. He was up early this morning outside, enjoying the rain_."

Chuckling, Roy remembered how Edward loved to sit in the rain. Glancing to the documents in front of him, Flame ended the phones conversation. "Alright Lieutenant Hawkeye, see you in the office this afternoon." And then he hung up.

As Riza set the phone upon the receiver, and began walking away, the phone rang. Blinking her eyes in surprise, she answered. "Hello?" Widening her red-brown eyes in shock, Riza hesitated. "… Y-yes, sir!"

Edward had remained in his room, slowly packing the little pairs of clothes' he had, thinking on his sudden decision to return home. Pausing in folding up one of his shirts, Full Metal stared out the bedroom window, into the full blooming garden. Furrowing his eyebrows in distraught, he leniently stepped toward the window, as if he was to afraid to become remorseless against everything around him.

"Edward! You have a phones call!" Riza's voice suddenly broke through the thoughts going throughout Edwards' brain. Hearing the blonde's footsteps coming down the hallway to the top of the stairs, she placed the phones next to her ear. "He's coming sir, please hold."

"Who is it?" Edward asked lazily.

Riza smiled handing him the phone, "the Fuhrer wishes to speak with you."  
Cocking an eyebrow, honey gold eyes studied the woman. Reluctantly taking the phones he slowly placed it to his ear. "Edward Elric speaking, how may I be of service sir?"

"Ah, yes, Mr. Elric, I would like to speak with you this afternoon in my office." Was all the Fuhrer responded before hanging up and the line going dead.

Blinking in confusion, and holding the phones out in front of him as if it was defected, Edward set it back on the receiver. Jerking his head up at the sounds of footsteps, Edward looked to Riza who stood in the doorway of the kitchen. He immediately grinned, "Fuhrer Bradley wants to see me in his office at noon. Hope this has nothing to do with turning my watch in." He began laughing nervously.

"Colonel Mustang," Ms. Douglas knock and bowed respectively through the open doorway.

Roy looked up from his pile of documents, "yes, Ms. Douglas?

Answering monotonous, she laced her fingers together in front of her. "Fuhrer Bradley wishes to speak with you later this afternoon. When, you finish with the document signings."

Raising his head in question, Flame nodded and watched her leave. Knitting his brows together, lowering his obsidian eyes to the stack of papers, he though deeply. _This might have something to do with Drachma. But… is he really going to submit to war? This war could drag out longer than Ishbal, and… the casualties will be tremendous. _Setting his pen down, Flame grabbed the documents he had not yet to fill out, and quickly skimmed through pages. In mere minutes, Mustang pulled out a single paper, reading the neatly typed words.

_To All Commanding Officers_

_All negotiations with Drachma's government rule useless. Drachma refuses all diplomatic bargaining. Therefore, a brigade under the command of a newly promoted Brigadier General; who will be announced tomorrow evening, will be organized and sent to the northern borders to suppress any further skirmishes. The Brigadier General's brigade will be stationed in the north, until a negotiation or cease fire can be arranged. If Drachma hostilities continue, warfare will be inevitable._

_Fuhrer King Bradley_

"God, please, not again." Roy pleaded under his breath. Laying the sheet of paper down, he buried his face into the palms of is hands. "Please, not again."

"Are you sure, Fuhrer Bradley? Do you really want to reinstate me back into the military?"

Bradley smiled warmly, "Of course I want you reinstated. You are one of the most prized alchemists." Letting a long deep breath go, the smile was replaced by a fierce scowl. "I'm not going to lie, Full Metal. The reason I'm allowing the reinstatement, is there have been border skirmishes with… Drachma."

Honey-amber eyes widened, but fell back into concentration, "Drachma?"

"Yes, apparently, Drachma had been unhappy with the treaties. Amestris government is trying to convince Drachma's government to reconsider any kind of threat towards war, and to re-negotiate a new treaty." Walking to his desk, Bradley heaved a sigh of depression, "I want to avoid war at all costs, but, Drachma is not being cooperative."

Immediately saluting, Edward looked straight into the Fuhrer's eye, "I accept." Noting the surprise and grateful look he continued, "Though, I would prefer if Colonel Mustang did not know of the reinstatement."

The man grimaced, "sorry Full Metal, that's not possible. He as your former commanding officer must know."

"Very well, sir." Edward saluted once again, then took a sharp intake of breath, he asked curiously; "'Former,' sir?"

"Yes, 'former'" Bradley chirped. Walking to his office door, he motioned to his secretary and spoke in a hushed tone before facing Edward again. The man carried a neatly folded military uniform, "I hereby promote you to Brigadier General, Full Metal."

"Pr-Promotion!"

"Yes, promotion," the Fuhrer chuckled. "You're a talented you man, a genius. No need to be modest about your own talents, Full Metal."

Edward's face went from pure shock to uncertainty, "But sir-" Pausing he began fidgeting uneasily, his eyes deeply troubled by images and thoughts of the new rank. "I cannot accept this promotion, sir."

"And why not, Full Metal?" Bradley question in surprise.

Opening his mouth so speak, Edward shut it and then looked down shamefully. "I could never trust myself with another humans' life." As he continued to look to the floor in shame, the prodigy pictured the bloody battlefield in his dream, and he began trembling.

Seeing the young man trembling, Bradley took a quick breath, pouring a cup of tea, which he handed to Edward. Standing straight, he placed hands behind his back, "Yes, war is something that should not be taken lightly. Especially Full Metal, when it comes to another's life. It is a nightmare in itself, which many veterans suffer from." Taking a seat across from the younger man, he crossed his left leg over his right and poured himself a cup of tea. Settling the pot back in the middle atop the table, Bradley took a sip and continued grimacing. "I understand your feelings on the situation; you are still young, Edward. It is even hard for me to send a man to his death, but, I have learned one man's life can save countless others. Woman, children, and others who are not able to defend themselves."

_He's right. One mans life can save countless others. But, there's no telling how long this could drag out. And honestly, I'm in no position to really defend myself. _Setting the teacup down, Edward smirked and saluted. "I accept the promotion with honor. I will stop Drachma's invasion for Amestris."

The Fuhrer smiled as proud as a father would and saluted the newly promoted Brigadier General. "Excellent, tomorrow will the ceremonial to accept your bars and stripes, Brigadier General Elric." Watching the young form of the officer leave and shut the door, Bradley looked to his left and frowned. "What is it, Lust?"

"Envy is not going to be happy with this, once he finds out, Pride." Stepping out of the shadows, she narrowed her violet eyes, and set a hand upon her hip. She watched Pride turn his back to her and she became enraged, "Damn it Pride! Why keep using Full Metal? Envy's already pissed as it is, that someone is using him to bear a child that can't even be considered a human!"

The homunculus sighed heavily and laced his fingers together, "That child will be our only other way to being humans." Standing, Pride faced Lust, scowling. "That Childs' birth will drain Full Metal of all his life and others when the war starts."

Gasping, she stepped back, "that child is the… philosopher's stone?" Staring in horror, she retorted, "Why not the metho-"

"He won't do it, neither will his brother. It requires human sacrifice, neither even have the guts to perform the transmutation. They won't take lives!"

"Then why do you keep messing with the Elric brothers?"

Pride glared furiously, "they know too much."

"…"

After leaving the Fuhrer's office and unconsciously walking to the edge of the riverbank, to the exact location of the night he turned his watch in; Edward gazed at the rivers smooth current. As the young man stood staring into the water for a short amount of time; he tilted his head toward the grey heavens, shutting his eyes as he did, and listened to the distant thunder. Gradually, thoughts of the past he had tried to forget crept over him, a past that began his pain, the beginning of all the scars in his soul. Finding his own mother collapsed on the floor, barely conscious, to him and Alphonse standing in front of the her grave; and then staring into the face of a failed human transmutation. Staring into a face he could not call mother. In a passive manner, Full Metal revealed honey-amber eyes which only widened in shock. Edward's entire body went cold, he froze in a state of horror at the sudden change, then he was thrown into a sate of paroxysm. Gasping, he fell to his knees staring into the grey heartless heavens, only to have a violent spasm in his chest bring the fateful night clearer, blinding his vision of reality. Opening his mouth to scream, all he heard was a vain groan form inside his throat.

Fisting a flesh hand into his chest, Edward began breathing heavily. "Why? Why does… the past hurt… so damn much?" Tears began forming on the rims of his eyes, breathing became to painful with every intake and exhalation of air. He sobbed miserly, "Ah-Please… Stop n-ah! Stop it, just stop it… Ah, I need it to go away… I want it all to… stop!"

Inside headquarters building, Mustang had been walking the halls, trying to clear his head of the impending war. He fled his office, leaving documents unfinished and the letter out in the open, for anyone's eyes. Roy didn't want to be thrown into another war that would only cost in thousands of human lives on both sides, he had seen enough in the Ishbal massacre; both innocent and dissolute. Stopping in the hallway, the man took inhalation of air; as it were his last and he let it out slowly. Cocking his head toward the window, Flame leaned upon the window sill, his obsidian eyes watching the water from the sky drip down the face of glass. Focusing his gaze toward the river, Roy spotted the familiar golden blonde hair, the magnificent color that only belonged to one person; Edward.

Remembering the only other time Edward ever stood out in the rain, in the way he was now, was five years ago. The night Nina, daughter of Shou Tucker died. The face of Edward that night, made his gut clench in sorrow… in heartache. It made Roy admit to himself, he never wanted to see that determined blonde look that way again. But, he did. The day Roy had drove to Riza's home to check on Edward himself. Over those couple of days, Roy had thought of nothing but the he saw, or a matter of fact, watched Edward scream in pain. And, the longer he thought it over, the more he admitted to himself, that he had feelings running deeper than he thought he had for anything else.

Lowering his gaze away from the enthralling image of Edward, Mustang ran a ungloved hand through his hair down to his neck. Massaging it roughly, the colonel once again found himself tenderly watching the young man, until Edward collapsed to his knees. "Ed!" without a second thought, Roy had torn himself away from the window, running to his beloved.

"Colonel? Riza blinked as she watched her superior officer run past. Turning she called after him, "Colonel, where are you going?" at the moment, Riza felt something in the pit of her stomach clench, making her sick. _Roy's face… something's wrong._ Taking a quick breath, she ran after Mustang, troubled by his expression.

As the two ran out the building doors, Alphonse and Jean were walking in. Both watched the two run past without as much as an 'excuse me,' though they did realize Roy's urgency to get somewhere, and Riza's just to keep up. Looking to each other, they sprinted like hellfire, immediately catching up with the first lieutenant.

"What the hell is going on?" Jean asked.

Keeping her red-brown eyes on the man ten feet ahead of her, ignoring Jean's question, she kept running. Riza noticed Roy didn't intend on changing directions, so her eyes darted ahead of the man, only to widen in shock. Ahead of them, she spotted a body lying along the riverbank, face down in the shallow water. _Why had no one realized someone lying out here? Why is Mustang so insistent on- _She paused, realizing the resemblance to the man who was living with her, and then she screamed in horror.

Blonde golden hair drifted aimlessly in the current t of the river about a pale tan face. Edward's entire body was motionless, drenched, and beginning to lose all color rapidly. Roy immediately picked the limp, motionless body up, carry the young man a good fifteen feet away from the riverbank. Taking his military top off, Roy pulled Edward to his body, and wrapped the article of clothing around the man's shoulder. Mustangs face had also began to drain of color as he looked to Alphonse, "he's not breathing! Damn it, he's not breathing!"

Alphonse cried out, "No! No, he's still alive! I-I… I know he is!"

"Edward! Oh God!" Riza began screaming, trying to tear his body away from Roy. "No! Al's right! H-he's… he's still alive!" Her screams and sobs began to grow louder and more frantic as she continued to stare into Edwards' emotionless face. Trying to push Roy away, she screamed, "let go of him! He's alive, he has to be! Oh God, Edward!"

"Havoc, get Hawkeye back!" Roy commanded roughly.

Jean reacted immediately by grabbing Riza around her waist. "C'mon, you're not help Ed by screaming around like that!"

"Just shut the hell up, Jean!" Riza spat violently.

Ignoring the woman's rampage, Roy laid Edward back onto the ground, to place both hands below Edward's sternum. Taking a breath, Flame pressed with a sizable amount of force, and continued with a steady rhythm. Pressing several times, he paused, pinching Edwards' nose. Roy leaned forward placing his mouth against the young mans' and blew. Watching the chest rise out of the corner of his eye, Flame sat back up and again repeated, watching the chest rise each time he blew air through Edward's mouth. Roy clenched his jaw, he was beginning to doubt that he could get the blonde alchemist to breath, until abruptly, the body jerked and coughing was heard. The aureate eyes widened, but shut tightly when tears began forming in the corners and Full Metal rolled to his side.

Clutching at his chest, Edward continued coughing violently, but then it suddenly turned into a horrible retching sound. Taking deep breath's in between vomiting; Edward felt the pain move form his chest to his stomach, making him scream in pain. Opening his eyes, he stared into the puddle of blood; his blood. Feeling the vomiting subside, the older Elric felt the stinging of tears, he tried to contain them but they fell freely and he began sobbing heavily. The man could feel his entire body clammy from the heaving his own blood up, and he could feel himself losing consciousness, slowly. Daring to look up, the face he found first was non other than Roy, who's forehead was slick of sweat, and soulful obsidian eyes filled with anxiety. Trying to look past the older mans' eyes, Edward gave a soft smile and whispered, "I'm-I'm-sorry."

The colonel's eyes widened as the alchemist fell forward, "Edward! Ed, don't you dare close your eyes! Don't you dare! Look at me Ed! Look! At! Me!"

_I'm really… sorry… _Where the only word's, running through his mind, as everything around Edward went blurry, grey, then black. _I'm… sorry… Roy… I'm so… Sorry._


	7. Wounded Hearts

_Alright, I'm extremely sorry for the long wait, but, I was having technical difficulties with the computer. The computer made the impression I couldn't update on my stories, so I beat the hell out of it... Actually, it kicked my ass. Anyways I have two new characters in the story; and a couple of twists later in the story as well.__**

* * *

**_

**Chapter VI**

_Wounded Hearts_

_**My dreams have become filled with darkened skies, without moon or stars. Because, I continue to live with my regrets, and to sleep with them. Though sometimes, I'm afraid to face the things I failed. I would like to really believe in what others have; faith. But all our sins, all my sins make it impossible for me to believe in such wonders. So, I would prefer to sleep in my serene dreams, where I fell pain; alone.**_

"Colonel, he's not your responsibility." Riza argued with her commanding officer, who only paced leisurely in the hallway of his home. Giving the suit of armor to her right a lateral look, she tried again, "Please Mustang let me take him home."

Stopping his pacing, Flame looked up the stairs, his forehead still coated with sweat. Exhaling a shaky breath, Roy took a step to face Alphonse who stared at the ground. "Fuck it," Roy mumbled. Walking into his kitchen, Roy reached into a cabinet, pulling out a glass cup with a large bottle of scotch. Shakily filling the cup to the brim, Roy leaned heavily against the counter before picking it up and taking a long drink; wincing slightly.

"Sir, do you think it necessary to become intoxicated right now?" The woman asked, watching Roy down the other half of the cup. "I know your worried, but-"

"Yes, I find the moment extremely necessary, _Hawkeye_." The colonel interrupted, emphasizing her name loudly. Draining the other half of the cup, he winced again. Obsidian eyes teared, "Good God that really burns." Coughing, he again filled the cup to the rim. Before taking a drink he heard footsteps coming down the stairs, so quickly he ran into the hallway. "Dr. Winchell, how's Edward? Is he alright?"

"He's fine, sleeping constant. I had to give him morphine for the pain in his chest." Running a hand through dusky red hair, he chuckled softly. "Put up quite the fight, before falling into a violent fit of coughs."

"So, he's fine for us to move him?" Riza asked.

The doctors smoky blue eyes hardened and the soft smile disappeared. "I recommend he doesn't move at all; at least a few more days." Crossing his arms, the doctor looked to Roy blandly, and took an uneven breath. He stared at the man with black raven hair, contemplating on his next words and how the alchemist would handle the news. Grimacing, he stepped into the front parlor room, keeping his back to the three; "Colonel Mustang, I need to speak with you in private, please."

Becoming slightly bitter toward Dr. Winchell and Mustang, the blonde lieutenant bristled and turned on her heels. Storming up the stairs, she let her eyes fall upon the only room with an occupant, and sighed. _Why does it make me fell so-envious? _Sighing again, Riza walked past the bedroom door and made her way down the hall, which led to different parts of the house. Taking a right, the woman smelled aromatic fragrances of various flowers. Smiling she walked out onto a balcony. Her eyes lit up at the sight of full bloomed roses, lilacs, violets, and a dozen others. "Wow! Who would have known the Flame Alchemist, had such a green thumb?"

"I know," Alphonse chirped suddenly. "It's the middle of October, and everything's still in bloom."

The lieutenant smiled, "yeah, beautiful isn't it; especially because of the light rain." Staring out over the garden, thinking of the man she fell in love with; Riza leaned against the stone balcony. She knew there was more to the man, than to reach the top, everything went so much deeper than that. She could sense it when Scar appeared, and when Flame became determined to protect the Elric brothers. Riza even began realizing that the colonel anticipated Edwards' return, or investigate their whereabouts when he didn't receive word form either one. She's watched her commanding officer become obsessed with wanting to know their location, destinations, and conditions; especially Full metals. The colonel tried to hide the fact he cares for them both, and Riza caught on the day they were transferred back to Central from the East. The day they found out Edward had been hospitalized. Reaching up to rub her temple form all her thinking, Riza gasped. "Roy's-in love with-Edward," she whispered to herself.

Shifting his footing, Alphonse stared up into the sky; "yeah." Sensing the woman's bewilderment, embarrassment, and grief; Alphonse looked to the garden. "Mustang loves' brother, but-" Sighing he looked to Riza, "he's afraid to express it to him. Colonel Mustang, told me his feelings for brother, the night Ed turned his watch in. Ironically, brother has similar feelings, just not as strong; besides, he's engaged."

"Engaged? But, I didn't see a ring on-" Stopping, she realized that ever since Edward began living with her, he never took his gloves off in front of her. Shaking her head, she looked out over the garden, "when is the marriage taking place?"

Looking down the stone staircase from the balcony, Alphonse stepped hastily down the stairs, into the garden. "The wedding is in mid-April, when the cherry blossoms' bloom. That's brothers other favorite time, besides fall." Kneeling in front of a flower bed with lilacs, honeysuckles, and lilies, Alphonse gently touched the petals.

Hesitantly, Riza stepped to another flowerbed with roses, violets, marigolds and her favorite; bleeding hearts. "Well, how about we pick a few for Edward, I'm sure he'll be glad." Smiling, she reached down, plucking a marigold. "I'm sure Mustang won't mind too much, if I've got something to say."

"I don't understand Viktor." Roy said drastically. Leaning forward, Flame asked sternly, "Viktor please, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Edward's as fit as a fiddle." The doctor answered calmly. Watching the colonel's face darken, Winchell let his smoky blue eyes drop to his cup of scotch, and took a breath. "I can't find a damned thing wrong with Mr. Elric. All his vital signs are practically normal, and yet he's weak; the pain in his chest is unexplainable. I can't really connect it to anything else, its-" Pausing, he ran both hands through his dusky red hair, where he left behind his neck, then hung his head. Sitting that way for a few minutes, Winchell dropped his hands into his lap and back to Roy, who was stricken with worry. Taking a long drink of his scotch, Viktor leaned back, "Whatever Edward has, he's the first. That's all I can tell you, I'm sorry." Placing a comforting hand on Roy's shoulder, Winchell smiled, "Roy, we've been friends for a longtime, right?"

Nodding, Roy answered solemnly, "since childhood."

"That's right. So, I'm not going to give up on you or Edward." Taking his drink inot his hand, Viktor smiled, "I'll figure something out. We are after all alchemists. So, I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning." Setting the cup down, Viktor picked his coat up and pulled it on.

"Sure, in the morning." Flame confirmed as Viktor Winchell let him self out. Slumping into his seat, the alchemist felt his chest tighten, breathing become heavy and shallow; then the stinging of tears. Lifting his hand slightly, Roy rubbed his temple, forehead, and then covered his shining obsidian eyes.

* * *

_Those smells. It smells like nutmeg, ginger, cinnamon…and curry. God, it smells so good, but there's another smell. Something I've smelled before, around someone…what is it? It smells so sweet, yet bitter at the same time. It smells great…along with those musky spices._

Moaning in delight, the young man rolled to his side. His entire body was refreshed and relaxed of the pain. Languidly, the golden blonde opened luminous molten amber eyes, that squinted then shut gently. Nuzzling the pillow beneath his head, he inhaled deeply into his lungs, and rolled onto his stomach. _Mmm…god, if I was to die right now, I'd already be in heaven._

Yawning, Edward placidly pushed himself onto his knees, and blinked. Sitting back on his heels he glanced around the room. "W-where the-Where the hell am I?" Scratching his head, he set a foot on the cold, wooden floorboards. He listened to the silence of the room. Letting the other foot touch the floor, Fullmetal stood wrapping the blanket around his bare upper body.

Studying the room, Edward immediately knew he was in someone's home, he knew about. Tiptoeing over to the door, the prodigy opened the door to the peek out into the hallway. Giving a small grunt to the tranquil hall, Edward inquired the home. He viewed several other guestrooms, which he thought was rather a bit smaller than the one he was in; and was glad. Looking into two different kinds of summer and winter parlors, Edward figured he got stuck with some cocky lunatic. Also finding a library, music room, and four smaller parlors, he was beginning to become bored. But upon inspecting one last room, the blonde was bewildered.

The room wasn't very large, or very small, nevertheless it had alchemy books shelved in three book cases along three walls. In the corner along the fourth wall, beneath a window stood a desk; "whoever owns this place, knows a little about alchemy, interesting." Padding over to the desk, honey gold eyes studied unfinished transmutation circles, and various items. However, what importantly caught Edwards attention, was a turned over picture frame. Timidly reaching out a pale tan hand, he took it firmly. Flipping it over to look at the faces, Edward widened his eyes, "No! I'm in Roy's home."

"Ed, what are you doing out of bed?"

Freezing at the suave husky tone, he nearly dropped the picture in surprise. Cocking his head to look back at the doorway, Edward locked gold onto obsidian eyes. There stood Roy Mustang, holding a clear glass of malt liquor, and looking more disheveled than usual. Taking a calm demeanor step to face the man completely; Edward grinned nervously. Setting the picture frame down, "Heh, you look invigorated; got anymore of that?"

Shrugging casually, Roy looked to his right, "You big enough to handle it?" A grumble was the colonels' response, as Edward briskly brushed past. Yawning, Roy shut and locked the door. "Are you hungry Edward?" he asked the blonde.

Walking back down the hallway, and past his room, Fullmetal stopped. "Nah, I'll be just fine. So, about that drink," smirking, the prodigy descended the stairs; waiting for the other alchemist at the base.

Shaking his head no, the colonel ignored the disappointed look the blonde wore. Reaching up to scratch his mussed raven hair, he examined Edward compassionately. "Dr. Winchell affirmed you need rest. So, if I were you, I'd get my ass back up in that bed."

Snorting in amusement, Edward scanned up and down the hallway; until his amber eyes fell upon the door leading into the living room. Entering, the prodigy observed the room. Taking in the texture and the aperture of the large room; Fullmetal smelled the fragrant spices. Instinctively, he began mesmerizing the arrangements of rugs, furniture, pictures and even retained the colors. So grinning as if everything met his satisfaction, the blonde straightway approached the fireplace, across the room; which consumed wood violently. Sitting conveniently in front of the hearth, the ill prodigy crossed his legs, leaning back on both hands and absorbed the passionate heat of the blaze.

Staring at Edward's form for a short period, Flame turned to leave him alone. He was stopped by Edward speaking calmly, "Your home is-is beautiful, Roy. Thank you for-for bringing me." Staring at nothing, Roy hesitantly gazed back to the blonde, and then left without a response.

Honey gold eyes darkened with heartache; while they continued to watch the flames consume and destroy the wooden logs. Piercing his lips firmly together, Edward lifted and held out his left hand in front of him to stare at the silver band. Exhaling a solemn breath, he pulled the blanket tightly around his shoulders, to stand and lie upon the chair facing the fireplace. Letting the darkness wrap into a doleful, chaotic nightmare; all alone.

_What the hell am I going to do? I don't think I can take being alone with him, I mean look at me! _Throwing his arms up, Roy paced frantically in the garden. _God damn it, I'm drinking myself stupid for Chris sakes! _Stopping in his furious pacing, Roy looked to the sky, eyes narrowed. His thoughts wandering back to the way Edward comfortably settled in his new surroundings, without as much as a complaint or argument. He even saw a flicker of affectionate emotion, while he took everything in; as if the young man was happy to be there in his home. Smacking his forehead, Roy snorted, "Who the hell am I kidding? Maybe he's just felling that morphine still."

* * *

"Alphonse, you can have your brothers' room for the night," Riza smiled.

Alphonse nodded hi head, creating a soft squeaking sound, "okay. So, are we going to see my brother in the morning?"

Shaking her head, the lieutenant grimaced, "I'm not sure. Tomorrow, the military is having the ceremony for the Brigadier General. Its kind of odd, though."

"What do you mean?"

Placing her thumb beneath her chin in thought, Riza hardened her eyes in dead seriousness. "This is the first it's been really necessary, other times, they accept their bars and stripes on the spot. Not only will the ceremony by taking place, but there's going to a banquet in the guys honor, afterwards." Folding her arms, Riza remained silent; her red-brown eyes still in concentration. Growling, she looked to Alphonse, "Whoever this guy is, the Fuhrer must think he's really important."

"That's probably it," the suit agreed. "So, you don't know or have a clue on which this guy is? Sighing while the woman shook her head no, Alphonse looked away in thought, _She's right. Whoever this guy is, Fuhrer Bradley must thing he's valuable to the military. Everyone knows he's an alchemist, that's for sure, but-but who or what kind of man is he? _His thoughts were cut-off at the sound of the phones ringing.

Riza had run out of the room into the hallway to answer, while Alphonse entered his brother's room. Noticing that Edward had left various items unpacked, the hollow suit of armor began gathering the items up. Setting a couple of things into the brown suit case, glowing eyes spotted bottles of pills beneath a pair of pants. Flinching at the sight, Alphonse grabbed one, immediately realizing the contents; "Opium? Why does Ed have-opium, and-and vitamin bottles?"

"Hey, Alphonse, I think you better take this phone call. Its for Ed, from a doctor by the name of-of Scott Conelly." Stopping in the doorway, watching the suit of armor turn to her holding bottles, Riza knew that was why the man was calling. Inhaling a deep breath, she slumped against the doorframe, eyes tearing up

"Wait. Did you say Doctor Scott Conelly?" He asked watching her nod yes. Growling, he threw the bottles to the floor, shattering them. Storming out of the room, down the stairs, to the phones; Alphonse picked it up and yelled. "You lied to me! You told me that my brother was fine! Why did you lie to me?"

"_A—Al, you have to understand, Edward told me to keep it from you. He just didn't want to worry you._" The man on the other line answered shakily, and yet kept a business tone, all at the same time. "_I'm sorry , I didn't tell you. But Ed wanted it confidential. If one of my patients were to ask of that from me, then-_"

The suit of armor cut the doctor off, "I'm his brother damn it! I should have had every right to know!"

The line went silent for several seconds, until Scott sighed, "_yes, you're absolutely right, And, I'm extremely sorry. But, since I got you instead of Edward, I'll be coming out to Central. I probably won't arrive until the day after tomorrow, because of a few serious cases of pneumonia. Could you please let Ed know that?_"

Alphonse went silent, then answered solemnly, "Yeah, I will." Hanging up, he went back to the room, finding Riza sitting on the edge of the bed. Examining the smashed bottles, he walked over and kneeled to pick up what was left of the opium. _He knew the entire time. Ed knew the entire time about his condition; and he didn't tell me. _Storming into the bathroom, Alphonse spotted a small bag balanced along the edge of the sink, and used bandages carelessly tossed to the floor. Feeling new rage rise, the hollow suit of armor picked one of the bandages up and watched it unravel. Peering closely, Alphonse felt his heart sink. The bandages in his hand hurt far worse than he imagined, because it was blotched with dry crimson blood and dead skin clinging to the cloth. "W-Why didn't you tell me, brother? Why didn't you want to tell me?"

* * *

Blood. Bodies. Screams. Pain. Cries for mercy. That's all the young man with honey gold eyes could see, hear, and feel. The things he refused to face in his dream, but couldn't refuse in the face of reality. The genuine world, he was slowly dying in. he didn't care though. All he wanted was to desperately escape from the chaotic war inside his head. The war that would soon, be haunting him; the war that will forever change his soul. Ensnare it into a living hell. Alone. Weakly weeping his soul with crystalline tears of blood. To no longer have the energy to fight back.

"Why do you keep following me? Why aren't you satisfied with the pain you've already put me through?" Edward whispered hoarsely, gazing into blue eyes with defeat. Looking away with tears in his eyes, the prodigy sobbed. _I know what you want…my baby, right? _Reaching to touch his stomach, he was stopped by a larger warm hand. Tilting his head to examine the person beneath his bangs, Edward nearly died of shock, "R-Roy?"

The man smiled tenderly, while he took Edward's broken, bloody body into his arms. Letting a mournful sob escape, he began tenderly kissing the wounds all over his body; as if attempting to heal them. Edward's blood coated Roy's lips, but he didn't care, and licked his lips. Cupping the side of the blonde's face, the dark raven haired man deepened the kiss slowly, earning an ecstatic moan. Shortening the kiss, Flame kissed Edward's temple, pulling him closer to his body.

"Why?"

"Because Ed, you're my protégé, and I want to keep protecting you. I want to be there, because I'm in love with you."

Opening his eyes, Edward leaned forward massaging his temples. A headache prying through his skull, while he tried to adjust his eyes to the sunlight. Cracking an eye open through the pain, the blonde viewed his surroundings. _When the hell did I get back to my room? I don't remember walking up the stairs last night. _Knitting his brows, Edward swung his legs over the side of the bed. Inhaling a deep breath, the alchemist shut his eyes and stretched taut muscles and popped joints back into place along his spine. Exhaling, Edward detected the familiar musky scent of sweet spices and a bittersweet smell. "There's that smell again, but, it's stronger this time."

"You've finally decided to join the living?" Roy asked, smirk fully in place. He was leaning against the wall inside the room, both hands placed casually in black creased pant pockets, and a white dress shirt unbuttoned; revealing a creamy milk, sculptured chest.. "Well, since you miraculously decided to come back from the dead, I'd suggest a bath. Then after you're finished, come down for breakfast."  
Narrowing his eyes, Edward stood to walk toward the bathroom, but paused halfway. "I-I don't have anything to wear!"

Sighing in frustration, Roy grumbled, "you're not going anywhere, Ed. Especially since, Dr. Winchell already came by, saying you stay in for a week."

"A week?! You have got to be kidding!"

Grinding his molars, Flame walked up to the blonde, frowning slightly. "Yes, a week. Besides, I've already informed Lieutenant Hawkeye, that I'll be out for the week as well." Standing straight, the colonel noticed a light shade of mauve appear across the young mans nose. "Ed, are you feeling alright? You look a little flushed."

Shaking his head, Edward shifted his honey oculars to blank areas of the room. Giving a nervous smile and a sigh, he answered. "It's nothing. I just didn't get a good nights sleep, is all. Well, I'm just going to take a bath now." Resuming his path to the bathroom, the prodigy couldn't help but take a quick glance over his shoulder to see if the older alchemist was watching; and he was. _Damn it, does he have nothing better to do than make a complete jackass of me? _Slamming the bathroom door, Edward couldn't help but take in the luxurious bathroom details. "Whoa, I like this place already. Although, Mustang_ had _to be included with the luxury." Chuckling, he began the process of pulling his boxers off, when a knock told him otherwise. It was Roy, again.

"Hey, Hawkeye and Al are here with your clothes. I put the suit case on your bed, so now, you wont' have to that-your clothes again. They want to talk, too."

Groaning, the blonde man pulled off his last and only article of clothing, and then climbed into the bathtub. Turning the faucet on, he leaned his head back against the edge of the tub, watching the steam rise. _Why did Envy want to kill the baby? How and the hell did he know I was pregnant, and what does he know? _Dipping his head back into the hot bath water, gold eyes stared at the ceiling, before Edward leaned forward; turning the faucet off. "Hmm…I have to find him."

Watching the colonel slip into the kitchen, Alphonse followed to find Roy preparing breakfast. Watching him take a basket of eggs out of the refrigerator, he decided to make himself known. "Brother likes his eggs over easy," chuckling at the sight of Roy slightly startled, Alphonse glanced around the room noting how decorate the kitchen was. "Colonel, I need to talk to you abut brother. Thought, I want to know if you'd still love him after I tell you."

"I won't really know," Roy replied smoothly, cracking an egg and putting it into the grease, in the pan. "Unless you tell me, Al."

Nodding at the mans reply, he tossed a folded paper onto the counter. Watching Mustang take it between his index finger and thumb. Alphonse spoke hollowly, "its opium. He knew all the long, and its probably been a little over four months. He had to have had this that long, and honestly that's not like my brother at all. He would never have resolved to any of this, but, I don't even know him anymore. Colonel, I'm afraid of losing him."

Roy straightened his shoulders, "what are you talking about, Al?"

"Ed's really sick," the suit of armor replied quickly.

"What'd-What?"

"It's true, and the only explanation would be a human transmutation. I don't understand how brother wouldn't had have know this." He spoke slow and sullenly, while watching the colonel continue the preparation of his brothers' breakfast. Taking a seat at the counter, he watched the soldier, "Colonel, will you love him-"

"Alphonse," Roy cut him off squarely. "Absolutely nothing can stop me from loving, Ed."

"Umm-Okay. M-My brother…is getting married."

Feeling his heart drop at that moment, Roy leaned against the sink, but Edwards' deep rough voice cursed at the hollow suit of armor loudly. "Damn it, Al! That is no ones business! He doesn't need to know what the hell goes on in my life!" The blonde pointed a finger accusingly at the older man. "I hate you," Edward hissed.

"But brother, I just want to help."

"You want to help?" the alchemist asked with a sarcastic bitter laugh. "Stay away from me, Al!" With those final words, Edward stormed out of the house and onto the streets.

* * *

_Hey, I'm already starting on Chapter VII, and I have some real twists in that. I hope you enjoyed._


	8. Melody of a Heart

_Hello, I have finished my seventh chapter...and let me tell ya; it was a doozy. __The songs I have used are as followed (And I am a very proud Fan of these two bands, even if one them aren't together no...more.) **AFI**, from their CD **'Sing the Sorrow'** the hidden tack: **'This Time Imperfect'** And the next song is from my favorite top ten. **Offspring**, from their album **'Ixnay On The Hombre'** Track Seven: **Gone Away. **Yay! I feel so proud...sniff I need a tissue. Well, I really do hope you Enjoy, because, honestly...my sister did. And she doesn't approve of the ending to my story, or any of the other twists later on.

* * *

_

**Chapter VII**

Melody of a Heart

* * *

He detested himself. He felt in his heart that he couldn't do anything right. He felt immoral. He had made immoral decisions, which put his younger brother in danger. So, that's when shouldering it alone was better; the grief, pain, hatred, and oppression. Edward knew it was better, because he made the unprincipled sin against nature, and wanted to accept all the consequences alone. 

_I can't believe I said that to, Al. Damn it, I've gone and fucked shit up again. Why is it I always manage to do something so fucken stupid? I can't say anything right or I just overreact. Hell, I'm better living on my own. _Dropping onto a park bench, Edward let his body go limp and stared into the sky. His mind going blank, molten amber oculars dull, and soul completely overcastted with death. Dreams of death. He could remember the reveries as clear as day, which bother Edward for the war was endless. There was a beginning, but no cessation; no humane reason for it to have begun. The prodigy knew it, and yet he found himself in the middle of the strife, butchering, massacring thousands of men. And Fullmetal understood the malice in his dreams, but no matter what, he couldn't stop himself from killing.

"No turning back," he whispered hoarsely. Blinking, dull amber eyes focused. Leaning forward on his knees, he looked around the park, and then settled his eyes on Central Military Headquarters. Gritting his molars, Edward groaned in frustration, "Why exactly did I accept the damned promotion? I guess, I could dress up for tonight, then head on over to the Midnight Elegies. I still have to keep the damned promise."

* * *

"Lieutenant Hawkeye," Alphonse cautiously spoke. He was approaching the woman, who had cornered the Colonel with her pistol. Looking over Riza's shoulder, the younger Elric say Roy was making no effort to defend himself. In the matter of fact, Roy seemed distracted, which only made Alphonse feel guilty. "Lieutenant Hawkeye, it's not Mustangs' fault, it's mine." 

"Al, why are you-"

"No!" the suit of armor yelled, cutting Riza's words off. "I'm the one who made Ed mad. I told the Colonel things- things, that brother didn't want people knowing. It's my entire fault."

"Oh Alphonse," Riza whispered letting go of Roy.

Walking to the coat rack, the Flame Alchemist grabbed his black coat, and pulled it over his broad shoulders. Straightening the front of his jacket, the black raven haired man stood in the hallway. He stood there staring at the front door, and then called to the younger Elric. "Al, don't worry about it, Ed just overreacted, as usual. I'll go look for him, and have a talk with him, alright."

"With all do respect Colonel, I really don't think-"

"Please Riza, trust me," Roy pleaded suddenly.

Stepping forward, Alphonse spoke with a smile, "I trust you."

Frowning, the lieutenant stepped to her commanding officer, "Sir, its not that I don't trust you but, - we're talking about Edward. He doesn't trust you; he never did."

"He doesn't have to, he just needs to listen."

* * *

Fullmetal's honey gold eyes delicately studied his reflection. The reflection of him in the navy blue military uniform, and the way it perfectly fit his muscular lithe frame. Running an ungloved hand along the epaulette on his shoulder, the young officer grimaced in confusion, before turning to his mahogany oak desk. Opening his top drawer, Fullmetal sat in his chair, to pull out a pen and a piece of paper. "Agh…how the hell, am I supposed to come up with new lyrics?" 

"Brigadier Elric, the Fuhrer as ordered that I be your secretary," Juliet Douglas appeared in the doorway of Edward's office. Bowing slightly, she looked at her new commanding officer, seeing he had not paid any attention. "Sir, did you hear me?"

Glancing up, Fullmetal grunted softly, "why did he order you to be my secretary?"

"…"

"Never mind, I won't be here much longer, so-" pausing, he quirked an eyebrow then crumpled the piece of paper. Scratching at the nape of his neck, he grinned, "when is the-uh-ceremony?"

Blinking as if surprised, Juliet slumped her shoulders, "I believe it is eight this evening."

Nodding, the Brigadier General placed the pen back in the drawer, while humming softly. Before shutting the drawer, a silver chain caught his eye, which made him smile; his state pockets watch. Taking it in a soft grasp, the prodigy ran a thumb over the carving of the chimera, than opened it to see the date still carved inside and the words. "Don't forget 3, Oct. 10," he whispered.

"Sir?" Miss Douglas questioned.

"You're free for the rest of the day, Miss Douglas." Standing, Edward grabbed the issued military trench coat, draped it over his arm and saluted the woman; who only bowed in return. Walking past her, he gave Juliet a lopsided grin, "see you this evening, Miss Douglas."

"Yes sir." Watching the blonde eighteen year old leave, she frowned in distraught. "Don't forget 3, Oct. 10," she whispered sadly. _All of a sudden, what Pride is doing-just seems so wrong. Why does it seem so wrong all of sudden?_

"Because, you were once his mother, and human," Envy growled. Slipping off the window sill, the shape shifting homunculus leaned against the oak desk, sneering in disgust. "Look at all of you. You're so desperate for that damned philosopher's stone look what you've resorted to! Humph, how pathetic; however, there is one slight flaw in Prides' plan."

Sloth cringed, "what are talking about, Envy?"

Chuckling, the homunculus leaned forward. "I found interesting details about the pipsqueak, and it might get the other homunculus to re-think there plans. Sloth, Edward isn't the human you think he is." Standing on the desk, Envy began pacing back and forth, both hands behind him. Grimacing, it turned to face Sloth, than grinned, "You have absolutely no clue what I'm talking about, do you _Trisha Elric_."

"Don't use that name around me, those brothers' mother is dead," Sloth spat. Clenching her had, the sin looked away; sadden, "She's dead, Envy."

"So is the real Fullmetal Alchemist."

Sloth's head shot up to look at the other sin, but stared at empty space. _What the hell is that supposed to mean? I was standing here, talking to the Fullmetal Alchemist. What does he mean, 'So is the Fullmetal Alchemist'?_

Sighing again, Lust looked out over Central City form the rooftop of a tower, arms crossed and her leg placed over the other. The lustful homunculus eyes saddened, then looked to the approaching shape shifting homunculus. "Envy, why are you helping the Metal Pipsqueak? As much as I do agree, that Pride's plan for the philosopher's stone isn't exactly right, I still want to become a human being."

Sitting next to the homunculus with voluptuous curves, Envy's face saddened. "Well, there's a chance that that damned puppets plan might not work. I found something out about, Ed, which even I couldn't believe; and now, all I want is to keep our master from finding out." Narrowing his eyes, the shape shifting homunculus sneered, his violet eyes glowing with rage. "Fullmetal was killed a year, and seven months ago in an accident."

Inhaling sharply, Lust stared at Envy in shock, which the sin only looked ahead. "Then, who the hell performed a human transmutation, and why can he perform alchemy?"

"I don't know, but, it seems that even the younger brother didn't know of this. The accident happened in the west, not sure how far west, but I'll find out. When Fullmetal died, he had his brother stay in Resembool, which I don't understand; they're always together." Growling, Envy laid himself down, eyes still narrowed and full of rage. The sin had clenched his teeth, and even began grinding them. Hesitantly, he softened his tone, "I don't think it was an-an accident, though."

Laughing, Lust leaned toward the homunculus, "Do you hear yourself, Envy?"

"After three years, I'm finally accepting him to be my brother. I guess," Envy shrugged. Sitting back up, he let his violet eyes wander to the Ouroboros tattoo, "I hate to admit it, we share the same blood."

"You both also hate, Hohenheim of Light," she snickered lightly.

* * *

_Damn it, I was pretty sure that Ed would have been here, _Flame thought depressingly. Walking out the library doors, he shielded his eyes from the sun; blinking to re-focus his vision. Lowering his hand, Roy began a slow descent down the library steps, frowning deeply. He was beginning to feel he had no way to fix things with the alchemist, but he knew he had to fix things between the brothers. Stepping off the final step, he sighed deeply, and walked toward the park, where he sat on the grass; legs bent, and him hugging his knees. 

"Do you even bother thinking on how pathetic you might look?"

Growling, Roy straightened his legs and leaned back. "When did you get back, Maes?"

"Yesterday," the Lieutenant Colonel answered cheerfully. "Though, when I went to announce my return, you were now where to be found. So, where the hell were you, Roy?"

"Home."

"Home? Huh, so why were you at home? Never mind, I don't think I want to know."

Roy snorted, "You do to want to know, Maes; I know you better than anyone." Smiling at his long time friend, the Colonel stood, "its' Edward."

Maes laughed, slapping the man on the shoulder, "So you finally realized your own affections for the pipsqueak, but, why do you seem so down?"

"He's engaged, Maes," Roy whined softly.

Giving a small 'oh,' Maes leaned against his friend, smiling. "C'mon Roy, you're quite the charmer. Why can't you get him to change his mind? I'm sure he's got similar feelings for you, he just hasn't quite grasped them, or maybe he's afraid of getting turned down. You know, like you."

Growling threateningly, Roy shoved the other man away, "not helping."

"That's what you think, Roy," Maes saluted and winked. "Don't forget to put your best uniform on for tonight."

"What for?" Mustang sneered.

"You do want to make a good impression for the new Brigadier General, don't you Roy? I mean, he is your new commanding officer, so pray he's nothing like Basque Grand. One Iron Blood Alchemist was enough of a pain in the ass, the military doesn't need another; See you tonight."

* * *

_Shit, it's already Five-thirty!_

"Hey Ed, you almost ready?" Elias knocked on the hotel room door. Receiving silence, the bartender growled, hitting on the door slightly harder. "Ed! Damn it, I know you can hear me! Ed, are you ready yet, or do you want to wait?" Hearing a soft thump, Elias leaned against the door, knowing that the amber eyed alchemist was leaning against the door on the inside. Sighing, the blue eyes bartender tried to coax the alchemist out. "Ed, c'mon. You need to come out of there; you don't have to perform, alright."

"It's not that, Elias. It's someone," Edward spoke through the door. Pushing off the door, he walked to his guitar, staring at it. Taking it in a firm hold, he walked to the door opening it, smiling. "I'll wait a little longer, just need to get a little situated; good for you?"

"No problem, state alchemist."

_What the hell am I supposed to write in a few short minutes? God damn it, this is just so fucken hopeless! Damn it, I shouldn't have agreed to do this-or at least, I shouldn't had mad the damned promise any ways. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I hate the fucken world! Shit! _The blonde alchemist cursed loudly inside his head at himself. Pulling the strap of the guitar over his shoulder, he followed Elias out of the room, down the hall to the stairs leading to the bar. Slightly pausing at the top, Edward took in a deep breath, smelling and tasting the liquor. "I'm not sure if I'm ready for this, Elias. Damn, I'm really, really nervous right now. It's like I'm asking my fiancé to marry me all over again."

Laughing, Elias grabbed Edwards' hand, pulling him down. "Your already halfway, you can't chicken out now. Ed, you made a promise when you brought your guitar here, alright." Tugging on the young mans sleeve, the bartender pressed his body to Edward's, "c'mon, you made a promise."

"Yeah. Three songs, as promised." Edward smile, slipping a few pages of paper out of his pocket and swaying it front of Elias. Grinning, the alchemist leaned forward, "you want to take a look at them?"

"Really, I can have a look?" Elias asked excitedly.

Giving a thoughtful look, Edward quickly slipped the papers back into his pocket, than grinned wickedly. "Nah, you'll just have to wait like everyone else in the bar," he stuck his tongue out playfully.

Slapping Edward on the back of the head playfully, Elias snorted, "fine. Anyways, be ready in the next seven minutes, go over the songs, whatever it is you do." Laughing as the blonde gave him a coy smile, the brunette walked back to the bar counter; to return to waiter the drunks. Though, while the bartender prepared to take orders, he noticed Colonel Mustang sitting at the bar as well. Smiling in a charming manner, Elias walked to the military officer, "How you doing, Roy? I haven't seen you in a week, where've you been?"

Shrugging, Flame answered, "home."

"What's the matter?" he asked caringly.

"Hm, someone I can't get out of my head," the Colonel smirked lightly. Shaking his head, he sighed heavily, and rubbed the back of his neck. "Someone I want to get close to, and show that I-I love them; that I really do care." Scoffing, Roy waved the conversation off, "the usual, Elias."

"Warm brandy, coming up. You came on a great night, too, Roy. I hope you're able to stay a couple of hours to watch." The brunette smiled, while filling up a clear crystal glass of brandy, "Deep loving feelings for someone, hm? And that's coming form the greatest womanizer of Central Military history; Roy Mustang has finally fallen for a woman."

Snorting, Flame leaned against his hand; _the greatest womanizing military officer fell for someone fourteen years younger, and a man. It's a good thing he's legal, too. _Chuckling, Roy leaned forward and let his head drop onto the counter top. Hitting it several more times, he began laughing, "What the fuck has come over me?"

"Afternoon people settle down you drunks," an old man with pepper grey hair spoke through the microphone, to speak over the chattering bar. Pausing, he waited until the noise had slightly died away. Lifting his hand, the old man waved, "alright, I really don't want to waste anymore time. Tonight, we have a new performer; he's a- dog of the military." The bar immediately erupted into an uproar.

"A state alchemist?" Roy mumbled.

"Hey, hey, c'mon, settle down. He's not here for the state, he's here because he wants to show everyone he's really for the people." Laughing, the old man turned to his left as two men walked on stage, then a third shortly after. "Please, let's all give him-a Luke warm welcome, Edward Elric; the Fullmetal Alchemist."

Gasping softly, Roy whispered the name, "Ed." There he was on stage, standing beside the old man, guitar hanging against his hip; grinning nervously. Standing, Roy walked along the back wall, amazed how the light reflected off his gold hair, creating crystalline halo. But, what especially caught the colonel off guard was the young man wore a dark brown turtle neck shirt, and the military issued flyway, pants, boots. _What the hell is he ding wearing the military uniform for? I thought he gave up military life? I thought-_ His thoughts were automatically cut off when his obsidian eyes made contact with aureate eyes.

_Shit! What the hell is he doing here? I-I don't think I want to do this anymore-especially since…_Edward thought nervously. His gold translucent oculars were focused upon the man, who never spoke a word about his sin against nature; his failed human transmutation. Roy Mustang was standing in the back of the bar room, watching him in a transfix manner, that only made Edward lust to be touched by and near the older alchemist. Parting his lips slightly, Edward let go of a hot, wet breath, wetting his lips as he inhaled again. Wincing at his action, he focused aureate oculars elsewhere. _What the hell am I thinking? He's a man, a much older one, a womanizer, and I'm engaged. _Feeling perplexed by his thoughts, he glance over his shoulders, seeing the others were ready and waiting.

_Why is he hesitating? _Elias thought worriedly.

Gritting his teeth, Edward looked at Elias, "come here for a sec."

_Humph, not as tough as he though he was, _Roy thought victoriously. Watching the two young men whisper for a few minutes, Elias made a hand motion to the two other men; they all nodded. _All right, I guess he is going to go through with performing. This better be good, all I get to see the pipsqueak perform is a damned tantrum. _Softly, a melody on the guitar swelled up, it was Edward.

_I cannot leave here, I cannot stay  
Forever haunted, more than afraid  
Asphyxiate on words I would say  
I'm drawn to a blackened sky as I turn blue _

There are no flowers, no, not this time  
There will be no angels gracing the lines, just these stark words I find  
I'd show a smile but I'm too weak  
I'd share with you, could I only speak, just how much this hurts me

Then the others soon followed, the drummer began a steady beat, the bass guitar going along with the, and Edward leading them.

_I cannot stay here, I cannot leave  
Just like all I loved, I'm make believe  
Imagined heart, I disappear  
Seems... no one will appear here and make me real _

There are no flowers, no, not this time  
There will be no angels gracing the lines, just these stark words I find  
I'd show a smile but I'm too weak  
I'd share with you, could I only speak, just how much this hurts me

_Then quickly, Elias stepped up beside Edward, smiling. He than began singing. ( ) _

I'd tell you how it haunts me  
I'd tell you how it haunts me  
(Cuts through my day and sinks into my dreams)  
I'd tell you how it haunts me  
(Cuts through my day and sinks into my dreams)  
You don't care that it haunts me

There are no flowers, no, not this time  
There will be no angels gracing the lines, just these stark words I find  
I'd show a smile but I'm too weak  
I'd share with you, could I only speak, just how much this hurts me

_Just how much this hurts me_

_Just how much you..._

Finishing the song softly, Edward blushed madly when half the bar erupted into cheers. Side glancing Elias, Edward smiled, "thanks." Receiving a pat on the shoulder, the alchemist gazed toward the back of the bar; he was applauding. The Flame Alchemist was giving him an honest smile of courtesy. Blushing even harder, Edward turned to the other band members, "Heh, wow. You think we're ready for the next song?"

"I don't know, Ed," the bass guitarist replied uneasily.

"C'mon Nicholas, we did pretty well during practice, what's the problem?" the drummer growled.

Edward chuckled, "Michael's right, we did pretty good earlier." Seeing Nicholas doubtfully cock his head, he sighed, then turned to look at the crowd. They were getting anxious, so was he. "There's only three of us, how we going to make this work?"

Michael answered anxiously, "I don't have the slightest clue, Ed."

Relaxing slightly, the gold eyed alchemist took another look out over the crowd; then he smile. Jumping off the stage, un-strapping the guitar Edward gently set the instrument down. "Actually Nic, I just thought of something; something that could make the song, a little heavier."

The two repeated the word, "heavier?"

"Yep," the younger man replied. Disappearing into the crowd of drunks momentarily; he soon reappeared, followed by another blonde. Only he had blue eyes and a cigarette dangling from his lips. Hopping back onto the stage, Edward grinned while helping the other blonde. "I owe you big time Havoc. Has anyone ever told you, that you look better without the uniform?"

"Really?" Jean questioned, looking down at his brown pants, white button up shirt, and brown jacket; he laughed. "Thanks, I haven't heard that from anyone, and its no problem; you just lucky I happen to be hear, and I know how to play."

Re-strapping the guitar, and making sure it was tuned, the alchemist became aware he was turning red in the face. He was blushing again, and he couldn't figure out why. Shaking his head, Fullmetal turned to Jean, only to find the Second Lieutenant gazing at him. Eyes widening slightly, the alchemist smiled, "You ready to do this?" _Why is this happening? Damn it, what the hell did I do to deserve this kind of attention form guys I've known for seven years? _"Hey Ed, I said 'I'm ready.'" Jeans voice snapped him out of his daze. Blinking several times, Edward grinned, "Oh-uh-okay. Well, let's do this."

Steadily, the drummer began a beat for a few seconds, than Edward, Jean and the bass guitarist followed. Roy was stunned at their synchronization, _Wow, Ed's really talented. I wonder how long it took him to realize his own talents. And, I am going to have to admit, he's got a great singing voice._

_Maybe in another life  
I could find you there  
Pulled away before your time  
I can't deal, it's so unfair _

And it feels, and it feels like  
Heaven's so far away  
And it feels, yeah it feels like  
The world has grown cold  
Now that you've gone away

The suddenly, Roy watched Jean step forward, playing an eighteen second solo.

_Leaving flowers on your grave  
To show that I still care  
But black roses and Hail Mary's  
Can't bring back what's taken from me _

I reach to the sky  
And call out your name  
And if I could trade  
I would

And it feels, and it feels like  
Heaven's so far away  
And it stings, yeah it stings now  
The world is so cold  
Now that you've gone away

Gone away, gone away, yeah yeah yeah...

Watching Edward take a couple of steps away from the microphones, Flame stared in awe as the blonde played the guitar in tune, and sway with the melody. "He's amazing," the alchemist whispered.

_I reach to the sky  
And call out your name  
Oh please let me trade  
I would _

And it feels, and it feels like  
Heaven's so far away  
And it feels, yeah it feels like  
The world has grown cold  
Now that you've gone away

Gone away, gone away, yeah yeah yeah...,

"Humph, the guy has talent," The colonel scoffed. Pushing off the wall, he pulled out the state pocket watch; to see it was a quarter till six. Slipping it back into his pants pocket, the alchemist with black raven hair took one daring look back at the blonde alchemist on stage; before walking to the entrance. Though, a muffled 'Mustang' kept the military officer from stepping out the bar door. Huffing slightly, Roy leisurely turned to face the source of the voice, only to feel his heart skip three beats. It was Edward, approaching him in a hasten manner.

"Leaving so soon, Colonel." Fullmetal stated a slight hint of disappointment. Stoically stuffing his hands into his pockets, he benevolently cleared his throat after an awkward moment of silence. Reaching up to scratch his left temple, Edward inquired, "can-can I talk to you in private?"

Raising both eyebrows in surprise, the older alchemist glanced up at the stage; "yeah, if you're done performing."

"Great!" Fullmetal chirped. Motioning the other man to follow, Edward glanced back, grinning. "I promised the owner three songs, but, I didn't feel we were ready."

"Why not?"

Blushing lightly, the prodigy ascended a flight of stairs, "the words-aren't quite right."

* * *

Lieutenant Colonel Hughes, have you seen Colonel Mustang?" Riza approached the married man. 

Widening his green eyes, Hughes shook his head, "not since a few hours ago. He was looking for Ed, and there's no telling how long that would take. Why? What's going on?"

"I know who the Brigadier General is."

"Really? Well, who the hell is it?"

Mahogany eyes hardened, "Edward."


	9. Sweet Insanity

Starlit Angel

Chapter VIII: Sweet Insanity

_**How much longer can a smile hide the pain, of knowing that I could never be close to you? Every step I take is sweet and painful, my heart burns and the smell of it was the end of all my fantasies. Nobody showed me how to give love; to a person I feel I should show it too; though I feel it's all an illusion. So now what should I do? I'm addicted to you in a surreal dream, feeling as if this is the only way to keep myself sane.**_

Edward led the colonel up two flights of stairs; to the third floor where he had purchased a small apartment space he could call home. Glancing over his shoulder, he noticed that Roy only watched the floor, as they walked down the dim lighted hallway. Looking back ahead, Edward slowed his pace purposely.

On the other hand, Flame had become easily lost in his thoughts; which only annoyed him to no end. The black raven haired man felt nervous to be alone with Edward, yet it was what he had always hoped for; to talk to the blonde, without some kind of argument between them. Though, he knew one way or another, one of them would be bound to lose their temper; or say something to make each other angry. But deep down, the remarks and everything were the best way for the Amestrian to show what he felt; by pushing Edward, raising his temper, to use the anger.

Mustang kept their 'Human Transmutation' of their mother a secret, and he gave them the freedom to do what they want, with few exceptions. He helped Edward search for the 'Philosopher Stone,' by giving him the information to regain their original bodies. _Maybe this is equivalency? I help the brothers' with all that, and now I have to repay the price. I have to give up my goals and dreams to make this state better._

Looking up fro his train of thoughts, onyx eyes quickly realized that they both had stopped in the middle of the hallway. Tilting his head slightly, Roy asked, "Why did we stop? I thought we were going to talk in private? This isn't exactly private."

"I didn't stop, you did," Edward replied nonchalantly.

Perking up at the answer, Mustang stopped himself from blushing. "Oh, I hadn't realized." _I should probably start paying more attention, and what if I had said something out loud, and he heard it. Well-_

"Uh, Mustang," Edward called softly, watching black obsidian eyes narrow dangerously. Seeing him snap out of it, honey gold eyes soften, "hey Mustang...I heard about that promotion, and I was wondering if-"

"No, I wasn't the one who got the promotion. Not that it matters," Flame quickly cut into the blonde's sentence, not really caring to listen to what the young man had to say.

"Actually, I wanted to know, if you knew who got the promotion?"

Shaking his head, so the ends of his raven hair swayed gently against his skin, he smirked. "No, for once, I'm not on top of everything. Only the Fuhrer knows, and the Brigadier General's new secretary, Juliet Douglas. Everyone else has been kept in the dark, until the ceremony tonight; which means, I have to be there to meet my new commanding officer." Pocketing his hands, Roy looked at the wall, as if something interesting was hung there.

"But-" Edward stopped himself short; watching the battle of decisions dance across the older mans face. Placing an auto-mail hand upon his hip, Edward asked sternly, "Is it that hard to make a simple decision? Look, if the military ceremony is that important, that...maybe you should just go. There'll be other times when we can talk, but, right now might not be such a good time."

Mustang eyes widened slightly, trying not to let his smooth facade slip. Frowning slightly, the man straightened his shoulders, "What do you mean?"

_How dense can this bastard get?_ Shutting is eyes in annoyance, Edward growled, "I can tell you are trying to decide wither if it would be a good idea to skip out on the ceremony. And if it's that hard to decide, than maybe, you should just leave. Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea."

"And why would it be a bad idea, Edward? We do need to talk, and maybe this could be the only chance to get every thing straightened out. For all _I_ know, after this, there is a good chance we are not ever going to meet again."

Crossing his arms, Edward let his gold oculars search onyx oculars. "Now why would you think that we could never meet again, Mustang?"

Growling, Roy definitely could tell that this was leading to an argument. Falling against the wall, the colonel looked expectantly at the alchemist, "Look, you quit the military for one thing. You'll be getting married and starting a family, is another. Why in the hell, would you still be wasting _your_ time, on a bastard like me; as you so perfectly well put in your very own words?"

"One; quitting and getting married aren't really reasons to stop talking to someone; two, I did happen to have gotten older, and I'm endowed to make my own choices of who I want to talk too. Three; you will always be a bastard."

Groaning, Mustang looked toward the ceiling, "Ed, this is getting us know where. And my third choice would be, because one way or another, we always end up fighting." Roy steadily studied the light hanging over his head, "besides...I'll be heading to the North, to suppress Drachma's forces."

A sad frown wormed its way across the prodigy's face, "y--you're heading to the North, as well?"

"I have too."

"No, the Brigadier General has to say otherwise? Right," Edward asked beginning to fell slightly nauseated.

Shaking his head for the second time, Roy looked into Edward's honey gold eyes truthfully, "Unless Fuhrer Bradley says otherwise."

* * *

"How did you find out about this?" Hughes asked astonished about the news. His eyes were round with surprise, and his glasses were also ready to fall off the bridge of his nose. "I don't believe this, he's the youngest Brigadier General the military has ever had. Way to go, Edward!"

Riza frowned, "Lieutenant Colonel. I don't think we should be focusing on Edward's big achievement, at the moment; I think that we should really-"

"Focus on Roy," Maes answered. Sighing heavily, the lieutenant colonel ran a hand through his dark hair, "honestly...I don't have a damn clue, what we should do about Roy."

Lowering her head slightly, Riza tucked her thumb beneath her chin; _this is going to be bad. What the hell are we supposed to do about those two? The ceremony is tonight, and they both have to attend. _"Maybe we should both go looking for them, and...Try talking to them."

Maes nodded his head slightly, "but I really don't know what good that's going to do, considering they both are pretty stubborn. Anyways, I'll go looking for Ed, and you can go look for Roy. Hopefully one of us can get through their thick skulls."

* * *

_I don't get it, why is he saying this? This doesn't sound like Mustang...it's not right. He wouldn't be giving up so easily like this, but...why is doing it now? _Quirking his brows in distress, Edward grimaced and then would open his mouth to speak, only to snap it shut. Fidgeting slightly, gold eyes fell to the floor, "Mustang...I--I..."

Eyeing the young man out of the corner of his eye, Flame frowned, "Ed why didn't you want to tell any of us about your wedding?"

"Because, I didn't think it was anyone's' business," Edward snarled lightly. Narrowing his gold irises, Elric folded his arms angrily, "Besides, why would you have cared anyways?"

Frowning deeper, Mustang asked a question himself, "Why do you care that I'm going to fight in the North?"

Flinching, the blonde try to hide it, by shrugging, "I don't now. There are just things that happen that I really don't have much control over."

"Yeah, like your height." _Shit! Did I just say that?_

"What was that, Mustang?"

Roy looked at the man blandly, "Hmm?"

"Look; like you said, lets just go talk." Turning around, Edward walked two doors down, and stopped on the third; which was fourth to last. Digging into his pocket, he pulled out a few keys and quickly unlocked the door. "Are you coming to talk, or is the ceremony more important?"

_How in the hell could I have ever fallen for him? When in the hell did it ever happen anyways?_ Shuffling his feet slightly, Mustang diligently followed, "alright, I think this friendship is more important than the military."

Smiling to the man, Elric pushed the door open more widely so Roy could enter the room first. Stepping to the side slightly, Fullmetal couldn't help but study the much older man. _What the hell is wrong with me? I'm engaged to the most beautiful woman, and here I am, checking out an old man; that is about to become my subordinate. _Shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts, Edward stepped into the room; shutting the door behind him.

"Hey, I want to let you know that you were pretty good up on stage. Never picture you to be the singing type, Ed," Roy chuckled. Half turning to get a better look at the blonde alchemist, Roy let a small simple smile touch his lips, "You've got another amazing talent."

"Thanks Mustang," the prodigy answered embarrassingly.

Turning his attention back to the small apartment space, Roy found the place quite small; and did realized that it did fit Edward's living habit; it was after all just the blonde. The living room wasn't too big, but could easily fit eight people. Off to the right was a door leading into the room, which was where the bathroom was also located; off to the left was another door leading into the kitchen. Stepping further into the small home, Flame settled into the comfort of the couch; awaiting for Fullmetal's move.

Feeling slightly out of place, even if it was his home, Edward grimaced slightly. Taking a small quick look in the direction of the colonel's direction, the newly promoted military officer finally walked to sit in the chair opposite of the couch. "Alright...well, first off...I'd like to apologize for this morning, but honestly; Al didn't have any right to tell anyone without my permission. And I'm really sorry for having-"

"Edward, that's enough. You're always blaming yourself for things that are out of your control," Mustang spoke smoothly. Lowering his eyes away from Edwards' form, he continued to speak in a smooth calm voice, "and I know that Al doesn't have a right to blab about your personal life, but it should be understandable. He cares deeply about you, all of us care about you Ed; yet, you just don't want to let that sink in."

Eyeing the other man carefully, Edward shifted his position showing he was uncomfortable with the subject. _Damn it, why does everyone have to be right about things? I know me getting mad at Al, won't solve much, but…Damn it! Why the hell does Colonel Bastard always have to be right?_ "Alright Mustang, I get it," the prodigy finally spoke. "I know that I lost my temper…big time…but I still owe you an apology. I know that you only try to help, but why in the hell do you have to be such a bastard; and always make cracks on my height?"

Smirking, Roy shrugged casually, "its just fun…I suppose."

"Humph, yeah; well, it's not very funny to me."

"Alright, let's make a deal then. I don't make wise cracks at your…vertically challenge state, and you stop calling me every name in the book; how about that?" Mustang suddenly offered the younger alchemist.

Holding out his hand, the colonel stared approvingly at the male; Edward on the other hand stared at the hand like it was some sort of death wish. Grimacing slightly, the blonde finally moved his lips, "What's the catch here, Mustang? It's not like you to give in so easily."

Raising an eyebrow in question, Roy merely stared at the blonde. _When are you going to ever trust me, Ed. Damn it, there's never a moment when you're not suspicious of me. But than, I can never blame you for being suspicious of everyone around you; especially when you get to deal with a shape shifting homunculus._ "You know what, fine," Mustang held is hands up in surrender. "I honestly give up, there's no being friends with you, Elric. Maybe I should go to the North, and let your dream come true; and just die."

"There you go again," Fullmetal threw his hands up.

Narrowing his eyes toward the blonde, Flame frowned, "What? What did I do now?"

"How dense are you going to continue being? You know what the hell I'm talking about! You just gave in so easily! What, I can't think about your offering? Gees, no wonder why Hawkeye has to shoot at you! You Colonel Mustang are a moron."

"Damn it, Edward, why do you always have to react over such small things?"

"Maybe it's because, I think you are such a fucking bastard!"

Rubbing his temple, the colonel growled, "See? Here we go again; we can't go ten minutes without fighting." Standing, Mustang began walking toward the door, only to feel a rough hand grab onto his shoulder. Looking over his shoulder, he glared into wrathful honey gold eyes; "What now, Ed?"

"You are not going anywhere without talking, bastard."

Shaking the blonde's hand off, Roy turned his head away, "What for? Let me just get out of your hair, there's no use in us talking to each other."

Growling even more dangerously Edward quickly got into a charging stance, and tackled the older man. Both men fell to the floor; Roy surprised beyond belief, and Edward mad as hell. While they both tumbled to the floor, Fullmetal managed to clap his hands, and as they landed on the floor; transmuted bindings around Roy's hands.

Crawling to the side of Roy triumphantly, the blonde alchemist smirked, "Now you can't go anywhere without talking to me. I don't give a shit if we argue too damn much, all I know is, that one way or another; we are going to talk."

Shifting around uncomfortably on the floor, Mustang winced slightly at the soreness of his lower back. _Shit, why and the hell did I not just see that? Fuck, why the hell is he so desperate to talk to me anyways?_ "Wriggling his wrists, the raven haired man hissed in pain, "did you have to put them so fucking tight?"

Shrugging the alchemist stood and dusted his pants off, "when you're ready to talk, just give me a call."

"Hold it, Ed! Let's just get it over with right now, and then I can just leave right after we're done talking. Because honestly, you're fucking floor is dirty as hell, and its fucking cold down here!" Mustang yelled angrily.

Smiling in satisfaction, Edward sat on the floor against the wall, "Alright. First off Mustang, I'll get to the little stunt you pulled in the office later; right now, I need to ask you about alchemist from the west. What do you know about them?"

Groaning inwardly, the older man began speaking, "not much. All I know is, that most alchemist's study into agriculture. Not a lot do with what the military looks for, as far as I know. But than again, there could be alchemist's dabbling in with medicine."

"You mean, like in the east?"

"Yeah, I suppose," Roy swallowed. "The state alchemist's posted in the West, could most likely tell you more about what they study, and whatever else."

Chuckling slightly, Edward leaned forward, "don't think you're getting off that easy. I know you know more than you're letting on, Mustang. What else do you got?"

"Damn it, Ed! I'm serious, I don't know anything else. I've never had to go to the West, so I really don't know what the hell goes on. All I know is what I've heard, and that's it."

Frowning, the prodigy leaned forward some more, "You have got to be fucking kidding me, Mustang."

"Well, as funny as that would be, I'm not. Now would you please let me up?"

"Wait," standing, Edward left the living room and walked into his room. Pulling open a drawer, he grabbed his small bag of bandages and ointment. Throwing it onto his bed, Edward continued to dig through his clothes, until he pulled out the pieces of papers with the drawings of the transmutations circles. Turning on his heels, Elric walked back into the living room, "Alright. Have you ever seen transmutation circles like this?" Holding up the drawings to let the man on the floor see, he sat back down next to the colonel.

Eyeing the papers, Roy furrowed his brows, "Where the hell did you get those?"

"So you have seen something like this?"

Ignoring the blonde's question, Roy asked again, "Where the hell did you get those, Ed?"

Growling, Fullmetal yelled, "Answer my question Mustang, or you can stay there!"

Groaning inwardly again, Mustang turned his head away, "I've seen something similar to it. But that was at least ten years ago, and the person who showed me is dead."

"Did that person-"

"No Ed, I never learned how to use it," Roy cut the other man off; "or what it was for."

_Well, at least he's back to dodging my questions again. I should be happy about that, but than again, I won't be able to get a straight answer from him._ Clapping his hands, Edward pressed his palms to the floor, and watched as the bindings disappeared. Just as Roy was pushing himself into a sitting position, Edward crawled onto Roy's lap, and pressed his lips to pale lips.

Roy's eyes widened in complete surprise, while he watched the blonde crawl towards him and give the most timid, yet comforting kiss. Pressing slightly back, the colonel lifted his fingers to caress the younger man's pale tan skin. _God, I can't believe this. Is this really happening? Is Ed, really kissing me?_

Pulling back slightly, glazed honey gold eyes stared passionately into onyx eyes. Crawling slightly closer, Edward pressed his lips against Roy's hungrily. He felt strong arms encircle his body, and Fullmetal suddenly felt comforted like never before. Lifting a hand to cup the side of the military mans' face, the blonde tried to bring their bodies closer; but he could feel Mustang hesitating at the heat of intimacy.

Pulling away, Roy blushed, "Ed...I really think this is a bad idea. I mean, you are engaged, and-"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Fullmetal asked angrily. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Damn it Roy, why the hell are you backing out?"

"Because honestly, you don't know what the hell you want!"

Pushing Roy to the floor, he yelled back, "maybe you don't know what you want!"

Grounding his teeth, the black raven haired man pressed against the blonde's chest, trying to force him off. "Damn it, will you just get the hell off me?"

Instead of answering, Edward pressed his lips back against the older mans. Feeling Roy's hands travel along his side, the blonde knew he had won. Pressing his groin against the colonel's growing erection, he moaned in pure ecstasy. Pulling away, Edward blushed, "Roy...I really want this."

"God," Roy moaned. Grabbing onto Edward's hips, he tried to press himself harder into Edward's groin. "Ed...Shit, you don't know...how bad I want this, b--but-"

Pressing his lips to Roy's throat, Edward moaned, "I don't care. I don't really care right now, Roy." Gently biting the tender flesh of the man's neck, he began sucking.

"Ed, please...I can't-" Roy moaned loudly as Edward bucked into him. Turning his head to the side so Edward had more room, Mustang began unbuckling the blonde's pants. Thrusting his hips upward, he moaned again, _Shit! This shouldn't be happening...But damn it, this feels so good..._ Slipping his leg between Edward's legs, Roy began rubbing his knee against the blonde's thigh; wanting to hear the blonde mew his name.

"Roy...god please I want this so bad," Edward panted heavily. He was beginning to lose control of all his thoughts, and began thrusting into Roy's leg that was rubbing his thigh. Groaning in pleasure, he threw his head back moaning slightly louder, continuing to thrust.

Seeing the opportunity, Roy quickly flipped Edward over, so he was now on top. Kissing the blonde fiercely, Mustang pulled military issued pants off slender male legs, and then threw the article of clothing carelessly to the side. Tracing his fingers along the outline of the blonde's leg muscles, Roy moved his kiss to junction of metal and flesh; where he began to gnaw and sucking smooth skin. Suddenly, as if he was on fire, Flame pulled away and literally jumped up. Holding his hands up, and shaking his head; he stuttered, "E--Ed...I ca--can't do this. I just can't...You're engaged, and...No, we just can't do this."

Gold irises stared at the man in complete utter disbelief, which were also full of annoyance, "You have got to be fucking kidding me, Mustang!" Pushing himself off the floor, Edward stood rather shakily, "you can't be backing out of this!"

"This isn't right, Ed." Rearranging his clothes, Mustang turned his back to Elric, "maybe you are right, I don't know what I want; and so, I'm going to have to say it would be best that I just leave. Besides, were not going to be seeing each other...much."

"There you go again! You keep hiding behind the fact that I'm engaged, what are you scared of? What the hell is it about me-?"

"Damn it Ed, will you just accept the fact that, I don't want to sleep with you?"

Shocked by the colonel's forwardness on the subject, Edward merely stared. He didn't know what to say, or how to reply the question; he couldn't understand himself why it all happened in the first place. Bending over to pick up the pair of pants that was thrown to the side, the blonde gritted his teeth before yelling, "Alright if none of this was right, why the hell did you kiss me?"

"..."

"Well? Aren't you going to answer me Mustang?"

_Shit, I can't...I can't say anything to him._ Looking away, Roy frowned. He honestly didn't know how to reply to the young man, especially when it was about what _he_ done, and the reason behind it all. Shaking his head, onyx eyes stared truthfully into aureate, "It's hard for me to explain...but, I just can't tell you why, and--and I think I'll never be able to tell you." Rubbing his neck to hide his frustration of the subject, the Amestrian officer fell against the wall, than slid to the floor. "All I know is, that you've got better opportunities, I've dreamed about. And here you are, trying to throw all that away, by trying to get me into bed with you."

"You honestly think that all of this is a bad idea?" Edward asked sullenly.

Nodding, Flame shifted nervously as Fullmetal crept closer to him, _what the hell is he thinking? What in the hell could he possibly be thinking?_ Suddenly he felt a hand on his inner thigh, and he quickly sucked in a shaky breath.

"Roy, please...please," Edward whispered hotly into the Roy's ear. Crawling slightly closer, he moved his mouth from Roy's ear to his neck, where he placed soft butterfly kisses. "Please, Roy...I want this, and you want this, because if you didn't, you wouldn't have kissed me."

Pushing the blonde away quickly, Mustang rushed to his feet, and nearly ran to the door. Grabbing the knob, the colonel apologized, "I can't Ed, and it's not fair to your fiancé. I got to go...so, I'll be seeing you around." Opening the door, Roy walked out, and shut it behind him.

Sullenly looking at the door, Edward's golden orbs watered, "Maybe a lot more than you think, Roy."

* * *

"Did you see what I just saw, Envy?" Lust asked in a surprised voice.

Envy nodded, his face slightly flushed with embarrassment; "Yeah…But, I don't think I want to believe what I just saw."

Smiling, the homunculus with voluptuous curves smiled, "I think we can use this to our advantage, Envy. The question is, are you up for it?"

Smirking back at the other figure, the shape shifting being snickered, "You don't even have to ask me Lust."

"Good, because I have a plan all figured out, and we can do it tonight. While Pride is to busy throwing a big party for Fullmetal, we can get Fullmetal-Pipsqueak, by using Colonel Flame. Though, there is the problem of the new member, right?"

Envy snarled, "Yeah; there is the problem of that bastard. But, don't worry; I'm sure I can find a way to keep _her_ busy."

"Good, because I don't want her interrupting our plans, Envy." Lust commented coolly, though her violet eyes meant otherwise. "Besides, I get the feeling Pride and the others aren't keeping their word on turning me back into a human being; honestly, I hate this life of a soulless doll."

Sneering, the envious homunculus merely turned his head away, and stared nonchalantly at the blonde alchemist sitting by himself, on the floor of his apartment. "I know what you mean, but, being nearly immortal does have its perks; you can't get sick or die. But than again, you get to suffer, by watching everyone around you die. Those you come to love and care about most."

Closing her eyes to show her agreement, Lust looked to the right of her and smiled. "Look who we have here, it's _her_. No doubt she's looking for the Fullmetal boy; hmm…I suppose I can take care of her. Make sure nothing happens to Blondie, Envy; we need him alive; remember that."

"Yeah, I got you," Envy answered jumping off the roof into an alley. "Don't hurt her to bad, Lust; I still want a piece of her."

"Sure." Turning around to face the figure approaching, Lust's smile widened even more, with a glint of bloodlust. Elongating her fingers, the immortal doll jumped toward the female form. "What a pity, I really did enjoy having you around, hmm…oh well."

* * *

"Colonel Mustang, I've been looking for you all over. Where have you been sir?" Riza rushed toward her superior officer, who had walked through Central Headquarter doors. Stopping mere feet away, she quickly saluted, "Sir, I have to talk to you about something, and I-"

"Colonel Mustang, why are you not in uniform?"

Both officers whirled around to find, Juliet Douglas walking towards them. Straightening his shoulders, Mustang quickly replied, "I'm sorry, but I had some errands to run, and I didn't get back until just now. I'll go change quickly."

Frowning, Juliet nodded, "Please be quick about it Colonel Mustang. Fuhrer Bradley wishes to see you at the ceremony right away."

Bowing, Roy turned back around and went straight to his office. _Damn it, can this night get any worse?_ Slamming the door as he entered his officer, he locked it and began removing his clothes. Throwing his shirt onto the couch, he walked to a closet in the corner, and opened it. Pulling out a light blue shirt, he pulled it on, buttoning it up; he kicked off his shoes. Taking a quick look into the mirror, Mustang quickly noticed a slight redness on his neck, "what the hell? Damn it! Well, at least it isn't too noticeable. It'll be gone by tomorrow; I hope."

* * *

"Hey, there you are Ed! I've been looking all over headquarters for you; I heard about your big promotion, way to go." Maes chirped happily as he walked toward the blonde, who merely stood in front of his officer door. Slapping the young man on the back, the family man's smile suddenly faded, "Aren't you going to tell, Roy?"

"I tried, but…I got to scared," Fullmetal replied meekly.

Frowning, Hughes sternly replied, "don't try Ed, just do it."

"…" Rubbing his forehead, the prodigy fell against his door, "it's a lot more complicated than that Hughes, you know that."

"Or maybe you just make it complicated."

* * *

**_Well, I finally got around to updating. I'm really sorry that this chapter took so damn long, but I just got a job...well, when you get one of those, you can't get much time to think. At least I didn't get the time to think...also, I was slightly lazy...especially after that computer screwed up and started deleting files. _**

**_Anyways, hope you liked this chapter...its bit of a cliff hanger._**


	10. Shallow

_Okay...This computer is being really stupid...or maybe its me. Anyways 'Shallow' is the real chapter title...I need to go to bed...I've got work tomorrow, and then all that other responsible stuff. I think this chapter suck, big time...Great if you like it, that's a real confident boost if you do. Thanks for reading, even if my job is messing up my brain._

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* * *

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**Shallow**

Chapter IX

* * *

The homunculus called 'Lust,' stared nonchalantly at the other homunculus a mere seven feet away. Elongating her fingers, the woman figure smiled sweetly, "what do you think you're doing? You know as well as I, we can't touch the Full Metal Pipsqueak; yet, you try over and over with your powers."

The other homunculus smiled just as sweetly, but didn't speak a word. Pushing shoulder length hair behind her right ear, she turned her gaze toward two couples; violet eyes deadening at the sight. Pressing a hand to her own neck, she suddenly asked, "What was my name? I know I used have a name…other than this…Wrath."

"How would I know?" Lust sneered.

Directing an eerie smile back toward Lust, she sneered, "Don't you have a name other than 'Lust'? I'm pretty sure there was another name, a name given to you by your god; by you human mother."

Softly growling the lustful doll raised her hand and quickly thrust her fingers toward the other homunculus; impaling her in the chest. "I don't care, as long as I can become human, that's all I want."

Snickering, Wrath slowly stepped backwards, slipping the sharp fingers out of her chest; "Oh really? Is that what you really want Lust, because I got wind from a little birdie, that you're in lo-"

"Shut up!" Lust screamed, slicing the being in front of her, from chest to feet. "You're delusional, you don't know what you're talking about, and that's why your own fiancé betrayed you." Smirking to herself, Lust quickly impaled Wrath with her other hand; pushing it against the wall. "Turning you into some lab rat, using you for his pleasure; so he could be with the man he always dreamed about. The man that meant more to him than you, a man that you now hate, and try to kill; because that man is now carrying your fiancés child."

Hanging her head as the words sunk into deep emotional wounds, Wrath merely stood, "I hate him for taking Michael…"

"Yes I know," Lust answered. Lifting her free hand, the homunculus began slowly cutting down the wrathful beings arm, "but did you know no matter what you did for Michael…he didn't want you."

Wrath's violet eye's glared angrily into purple wine eyes, "You're lying!"

"Am I?"

"…" Spitting as she looked away, the homunculus step backwards. Looking down at its chest, Wrath studied the way Lust had impaled her and how her bleeding continued in rivers. Sneering hatefully, the soulless doll transformed its body into that of an Ishbalan with a scar on its forehead. "Yes, you are homunculus."

Growling, the lustful homunculus pushed the other against the wall, cracking it. Than with her other hand, Lust cut Wrath's arm clean off. "Don't ever turn into his body, ever again! Do you hear me, Wrath?'

"And don't you every touch me again, do you hear me Lust?"

Maes Hughes stared intently at the young man with blonde hair; he had not said a word, or moved from the spot. Edward was in deep thought, and Maes knew something had happened. "Ed, what's going on? What the hell's wrong?"

"Its nothing Hughes," the blonde suddenly shook his head. Turning around to face his office, Edward pushed the mahogany door open, and stepped in. Spotting his uniform top, folded carefully on his desk, he walked over and quickly slipped it over his broad shoulders. Taking a look into the mirror that hung on the wall, Edward slipped his hand over the epaulet, and than gently ran his flesh fingers over the cuff of his sleeve. "You know what Hughes; I think I'm going to like seeing that bastards look on his face; because right now, I think he deserves it."

"I will never understand you, Edward; or Roy for that matter of fact. You both just love torturing each other over simple things." Maes smiled fatherly at the image of an official military man, who now stood to his shoulder, hair cut and pushed back nicely. "I'm sure you would have made any father proud."

Smiling to the man that had practically become his father, Edward asked, "Do I make you proud?"

Laughing, Hughes walked up beside the young man, and placed a comforting hand on the Fullmetal's shoulder. "Of course you make me proud, and even more, I'll hold back Roy if he tries to burn you to a crisp." Looking at both their reflection in the mirror, the lieutenant colonel held onto his fatherly smile, knowing that deep down, it was what Edward really wanted right than. To have someone say they were proud of what he was doing, and that they will be there as long as possible. "Well, we better get you down to your big ceremony, don't want your subordinates waiting, now do we?"

"I suppose," Edward grinned mischievously.

"You know if things don't go too well with you and Roy tonight, that doesn't mean give up, he's just complicated like that…Half the time it just means he's being a…bit of a child who throws a tantrum; I mean like someone just took away his toy. Something along those lines, but don't feel bogged down by those trivial things, alright."

Nodding, Edward took one last look into the mirror of the new him. Straightening his shoulders, slicking his hair back with the exception of a few wisps, the blonde tucked the military cap beneath his arm and followed Hughes to the ceremony. _I really wish you were here mom; it would have made things so much brighter, I know it would have. I wish you here to tell me you were proud of my choices, but your not, because I'm such a fool._ "Hey…Hughes," Edward called softly.

"Yeah Ed?"

"Do you think my mom…would had…y'know…been proud of me too?"

Widening his green eyes, Maes knew that one way or another, the young blonde man would deny anything; "Ed I'm not really sure…I've never met her, but one thing is for sure, she would had loved you no matter what. In a sense, that's another way of a mother telling her son, that she will always be proud of her son."

Grimacing slightly, his golden honey eyes began watering, "yeah."

Stopping, Maes watched those miraculous honey gold eyes water. _He misses her so much. Because she hadn't been there for them, everyone else was…but her. A mother is god in the eyes of a child. She was god to them, the highest power of anything, even alchemy. _Grabbing the alchemist by the shoulders, Maes quickly pulled the blonde into a hug, "you don't have to burden everything alone, Ed. You shouldn't have to burden things like this alone, even if you did know it was wrong, it's okay to make mistakes as a child; as long as you learned from them as you are now. I know you miss your mother, but there are people who make up a fraction of what you had missed out on, right? There will always be someone there, who is like a mother to you."

_Izumi,_ Edward thought. _She was always there…she showed she cared for us. She even hugged us after…we told her of our failed human transmutation…she was there._ "You're right Hughes, like your there to make up for the father Al and I never had."

Sniffling, Full Metal pulled back from the unexpected fatherly hug, and grinned like he had never before. Looking into green eyes, the prodigy felt more at home than he thought he could ever possibly feel; something in Central made everything more bearable. Though, when he was with Roy, Edward felt that everything in the world made more sense and that all pain had seemed to fade away.

"You ready to go and receive all that responsibility of a commander, Ed?"

"Yeah, I'm ready."

_I don't believe that the new Brigadier General has the nerve to keep us all waiting; and where the hell is Hughes; I need to talk to him damn it!_ Roy whined in the back of his mind. Looking to his toward his left, he noticed that Hawkeye was once again staring at him; as if she wanted to say something that was extremely important. Raising a questioning eyebrow at her, the man watched the woman's face flush and her eyes flittering in a different direction. _Okay…can this day get any weirder?_

"Hey there Roy, I saw you in the crowd and thought I'd come and say, 'what's up'?" Hughes suddenly chirped from behind the black raven haired colonel.

Feeling slightly scared by the family man suddenly appearing right behind him, Roy cocked his head slightly, to take a look over his shoulder. Frowning he whispered, "You do realize that you're supposed to be on the end of the line, right?"

"Nope, I didn't realize that," slipping his way to stand next to the bachelor colonel, Hughes side glance Mustang. "There something I have to tell ya, Roy. It's about Ed, and well…I really don't know how to say this…unless you want to fry the twerp."

Growling to show his annoyance, Flame nudged his best friend in the stomach, "Just hurry and say it, before one of the higher ups see you here."

"You and Ed sure are being rude today," Maes whined.

Widening his coal black eyes, the alchemist opened his mouth, "You talked to Ed? When did you talk to him, where did you talk with him?"

"Whoa, hey calm down," Maes laughed at the expression on the usual stoic face. Leaning slightly toward Mustang, the lieutenant colonel lowered his voice, "here at H.Q., and well, there as an even bigger issue than that."

Grimacing at the tone his best friend had just taken with him, Roy knew that the words that would be leaving his mouth weren't going to be good. Focusing his vision ahead, onyx eyes narrowed, "What's this got to do with Ed.?"

Before Hughes could answer the Fuhrer had stepped up to the podium and began speaking. "Evening fellow officers, as you all know to as why we are all here; I'm to be giving a newly promoted Brigadier General his official title. And as all the higher ranking officers are aware, that the state of Amestris is on a verge of a war; and so I had to take steps to make sure this does not happen.

"Two Lieutenant Colonels and a Colonel will be under his command: Lieutenant Colonel Frank Archer, Lieutenant Colonel Hughes, and Colonel Roy Mustang; Flame Alchemist. They all will be heading to the North, under my order, but they will be under complete command of the Brigadier General," Turning to his left, Bradley held up his hand motioning for the promoted officer to approach.

Every high ranking officer was on their toes, waiting to see the new Brigadier General. Hughes and Hawkeye's eyes were downcast, knowing full well what and who was to come to stand beside Fuhrer Bradley. Roy on the other hand was on the edge of his nerve to see whose orders he was to follow, he tried not to turn his head completely, but he did cock his head to get a better view. _Well, well, well. I've never seen Hakuro look so anxious to meet someone who rose to that rank in such a short amount of time; but than again, maybe he's just pissed as hell. _Looking once again toward the Fuhrer, Roy managed to deepen his scowl. He was also anxious, but he tried to hide it behind his blank façade.

"Salute!" a man snapped.

The whole line of high ranking officers hands shot up, and they all stood at attention as they heard the steps of someone who obviously had auto-mail. Stiffening slightly at the steps, Mustang snuck a look toward the approaching officer, noting he had blonde hair peeking out from underneath the military cap. The cap was pulled low, so no one couldn't see half of the blonde mans' face, or his eyes. Scowling slightly, his obsidian eyes watched the man walk right in from of him, immediately though, Flame realized the man who had just walked in front of him had similarities to his Full Metal.

"The man I had chosen is a good man, a young man; I feel as I can trust him to make the best judgment of this war," Pausing, Bradley squeezed the man's shoulder tightly and smiled brightly. "I know that I am making a good choice by picking this young man, because he _will_ bring victory to Amestris. He will make sure that his men will come back to their families. And so, I hereby give the title of Brigadier General, to thee Edward Elric; Full Metal Alchemist."

Almost as if on cue, the entire crowd of soldiers erupted into an angry uproar, but they did not even compare to the angry uproar of the general's. They were red in the face, and their voices boomed with the anger of learning, an eighteen year old had reached the position of Brigadier General. The blonde officer was frightened by the sight of the angry mob, and stood rigidly next to Fuhrer Bradley. He knew the general's were going to be angry, but he didn't think the entire battalion he was going to lead would hate him as well.

Putting up a brave front, the gold eyed alchemist managed to take a look at the colonel, only to find a completely blank stare. Edward was expecting the Flame Colonel to be as angry as the rest of them, but his face was completely emotionless, not even a hint of surprise was relevant on the handsome features. Furrowing his brows at the unexpected reaction, the prodigy turned his gaze back toward the angry soldiers. _Okay…either this is one hell of a weird dream, or this doesn't phase Mustang the way I thought it would. This is just plain weird…Hawkeye and Hughes look worried as hell. Maybe it's because the colonel didn't shout or try and burn me to a crisp._

"Hey, how you holding up; Roy?" Maes questioned his friend, who stood in complete silence; no signs of any kind of emotion. "Roy? Hey, didn't you just hear what I said to you?"

Snapping his head to the side, onyx eyes widened slightly, "What?"

_At least that gives me an answer to wither he's listening to me or not._ Scratching his temple, the family simply patted the Flame Alchemist on the back, "y'know Roy, you're actually taking this a lot better than I imagined."

"So you knew?"

Looking away guiltily, the lieutenant colonel nodded, "Yeah, I found out earlier, and I went to have a talk with Ed about all this."

"What did he have to say?"

Shrugging, Hughes looked straight at the image of a man, with gold sunshine hair, and bright burning gold eyes. "Just that he really misses his mother…he wishes that she could be here and tell him how proud she is."

Suddenly, the older alchemist felt pity on the young man, but knew he shouldn't show it around him. Deep down, he felt angry towards the blonde; though he knew it wasn't going to help with the situation. Sighing Roy smiled, "you only stood here because you were afraid of how I'd react, didn't you Maes?"

Smiling himself, Hughes nodded, "I worry about him too, Roy. I'd do just about anything for the pipsqueak, just as much as you would do anything."

Taking his military cap off, Mustang slicked back his hair and walked toward the Fuhrer, and the blonde alchemist. Still holding his smile, Roy gave a soft cough to let the two be aware of his presence; and quickly saluted. They both looked at the Colonel Flame slightly shocked, and that gave Roy an even bigger confidence boost. "There would be no better man, than the one hand picked by Fuhrer Bradley himself. I would be glad to serve under you Full Metal, sir."

Watching his colonel bow before him, Edward swallowed audibly; he didn't know what to say. Saluting back rather awkwardly, Full Metal smiled; "Thank you Colonel Mustang, I wouldn't had wanted any other alchemist, than the 'Flame'." Upon saying that, Elric held out his hand, and stared into velvety onyx eyes.

Just as the other man was reaching up to grasp the out held hand, a loud explosion tore through the large military courtyard. The entire area filled with clouds of dust, and rubble which was now falling from the sky, caused by the explosion. Bradley and Edward had been both pushed to the ground by Mustang, and were now kneeling to see that the only damage done was where they were once standing. By then all the state alchemist's had surrounded both men, all posed in an attack stance. No one knew which way the blast had come from, but all came to the conclusion it was an alchemist who had caused the large explosion. And without warning, another blast cut through the air, scattering more earth into the sky, and shaking the ground.

Automatically pushing himself to his knees, Edward looked around, searching for the man with black raven hair. _Damn it!! Where the hell is he? Where the hell is he? I can't see him…where is-_

"Ed, are you alright?"

Whirling around, honey gold eyes locked onto onyx, "Mustang!" Sighing in relief, the man placed a gentle hand on the colonel's chest, "I'm fine…how about you?"

Smiling tenderly, the colonel took the young blonde into a quick embrace; "I'm fine. I'm fine, Edward." Pushing the blonde back at arms length, the colonel quickly looked around, "We have to get you out of here, now Ed."

"What?!"

"He's right, pipsqueak. It's more likely that these bastards are after you, and the thing is, we don't know if their Drachma or ours." Maes suddenly spoke through the cloud of dust barely settling.

Seeing that his best friend was clutching his right shoulder, Roy immediately cringed, "Maes, your hurt?" Taking a step toward Hughes, the alchemist quickly viewed the damaged the limb; "Looks like you dislocated it…I think that-"

"I don't think so; I'm going with you even if you don't like it. I'm pretty sure Hawkeye and the others can keep an eye on him, besides, I'm head of the investigation department." Giving the young blonde a quick wink, the family man Lieutenant Colonel Hughes looked into the giant cloud of dust, "I don't like the feel of this…Something about this whole mess isn't quite sitting right."

Sensing that Edward was already beginning to blame himself for the event, Roy looked back at Hughes, "Yeah, there's no one to blame for that, other than the Fuhrer himself. You may be the head of the Investigation Department, Hughes, but you're injured."

"Yeah, you have to get out of the way before you're completely useless," Edward suddenly intervened. Both men looked wide at the young man, jaws agape, and eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. Immediately, Full Metal found himself offended by their reaction. "What?! You make it seem that it's impossible for me to agree with anyone!" Huffing angrily the blonde turned on his heels and began storming away from the two older men, who still stood in complete moron mode.

As he stalked off towards headquarters, Full Metal became aware of the figure of a body standing in front of him. Slowing his pace, molten gold eyes narrowed; _something about this doesn't feel right. Its too menacing…I don't like this._ "Who are you? What do you want? Are you from Drachma?"

As both men stood in dumbstruck, they slowly became aware that Edward was talking to someone who was no more than eight feet away. Roy though had become like a lioness, and immediately ran to Edward's side, to push the smaller man behind him. Pulling his glove on quickly, Roy held his hand in a snapping position. "If you want Brigadier General Elric, you have to go through me."

"Me too," Maes snapped as he also stood in front of Edward.

"No…you guys get back," Elric pleaded softly. "This guy isn't human…you have to get back, please."

"I only want Full Metal…But if I have to kill the Flame Alchemist, and some man…than so be it." It hissed between clenched, grinning teeth.

"Hughes, get Ed inside, now!"

"…Uh…What about you?"

Honey eyes snapping to stare at the back of colonel, Edward whispered, "…Roy don't, please."

"You get him inside; I can hold him off for awhile…" Maes stepped between Roy and the figure. Pulling out three of his throwing knives, the man looked over his shoulder, "take care of him Roy…You have too."

Before either of them had said or did anything, a loud clap echoed through the air, which was followed by an alchemic reaction. "Neither of you are going to die because of me, now get out of the way!"

"Ed!"

"Edward, get back here!"

Both military officers watched the blonde general charge the figure, auto-mail transmuted into the perfect blade, the older Elric was known for. Not one of them had the quick reaction to reach out for the man, as he ran pass them, and all they could do was watch in horror. They watched as Edward and the mysterious figure began a hand to hand combat, where they both matched in speed, and blow for blow.

Landing a punch on the other's jaw, Edward slid beneath the body to kick out his legs, hurtling the other onto his back. Jumping up, Full Metal pinned the other's body to the ground by transmuting bindings around its wrists and ankles. Going to stand, Edward watched as the bindings quickly dissolved, "What the hell!"

"Ed! Look behind you!" Roy yelled.

Whirling around, the air was suddenly knocked out of Full Metal's body, but the blow had been just as he turned. Wheezing, Edward fell heavily to his knees, his arms supporting his dead weight. _How the hell…did he get rid of…th-those…_ Eyes widening, Elric began gasping as if his supply of air was cut off, but he knew what it was. It was his body, he had put too much strain on his body, and now…it was getting rid of his only source of life. Blood. _Equivalent Exchange._

"Oh fuck, Ed! Get out of there Ed!" Roy yelled frantically as he could only find himself watching the blonde. Stepping forward, Flame found himself useless, because the distance between his love and the figure were too close for comfort. Gritting his teeth, Mustang found himself looking for the first lieutenant; "Damn it, where the hell is Hawkeye when you need her?"

"Why are you looking for her?" Maes asked confused.

Looking directly at the man, Mustang grimaced, "I need one of her hand pistols."

"What? You haven't used a gun since you tried to use it on yourself," Hughes nearly shouted. "I know you used to be praised as a sharpshooter, but damn it Roy…This is taking it too far! What if you hit, Ed? You haven't pulled a trigger since…that time in Ishbal."

"What the hell am I supposed to do than?" Roy growled with annoyance of being reminded of his sins. "I can't just…have to do something…I have to Hughes."

"Colonel Mustang! Lieutenant Colonel Hughes!" Hawkeye called to the two men.

Without even waiting for another word from the woman, Flame quickly gave an order, "Lieutenant, give me your gun, now!"

Narrowing her eyes at the sudden order, Riza reached behind her and pulled the hand pistol from its holster. Tossing it quickly to her superior officer, she stopped a foot away from Mustang and watched as he skillfully aimed it to the front of him and gently put his finger on the trigger. "What the hell are you aiming at?"

"If you'd just look, maybe you'd see what I'm aiming at." He nearly yelled at the woman standing beside him.

Shifting her gaze slightly, she saw the blonde brigadier general on the ground, coughing up crimson liquid. "Oh god, Edward!" taking a step forward, she felt a rough hand pull her back.

"Don't Lieutenant, you'll just get in the way," Hughes warned.

Looking back to the man on the ground, she felt that part of body wanted something to happen to the alchemist, but the other half wished the colonel would hurry and shoot the bastard that had caused so much pain for the blonde. Holding her hand to her breast, the woman took a heavy breath as she heard the gun explode with the shot. _Please let it be a good shot...Please, for the sake of Alphonse, please._

The sound of the gunshot ricocheting off air, made the entire world stand still to see if indeed the man with raven hair had succeeded in shooting his target. Everything went still; all military personal went silent, even the homunculus sitting upon the building of headquarters waited to see the outcome. But nothing happened, no sound was heard; where the two men had once stood, was absolutely nothing in their place.

"What the hell!" Hughes yelled into the emptiness.

Letting go of a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, Roy dropped the gun in shock. "What in fucken hell...Where the hell are they? H-How in the hell were they able to dodge that? It's not possible...to be able...to dodge." As if on cue, everyone heard a loud alchemic explosion go off above their heads, and large building material falling. "Everyone get out of the way!" Mustang yelled as he grabbed Riza and Maes by their collars, pulling them away from the area.

Hughes fumbled with his footing as Roy pulled him away from the large rocks, "Where the hell did that come from?" Falling onto his ass, Maes looked up at the man that had saved him, "Roy? That was Ed, wasn't it?"

"Its the only other person that would destroy military property. But...I want to know...how in the fucken world did both dodge the shot?" Flame asked himself out loud. _It's not humanely possible for anyone to jump onto a five story building...but, they did it. How?_

"Roy! What the hell are we supposed to do now? I mean, look at them…there is no stopping either one of them." Maes pointed to the two bodies atop of the rooftops; seeing as how the man wasn't exactly listening to his words, the man with glasses sighed.

"There something wrong with Ed," Roy's voice suddenly cut through the air. "There is something seriously wrong with him…but I can't quite figure it out. He's…not human…that jump was impossible."

"He's right Lieutenant Colonel Hughes," a husky rough voice spoke right behind them. "That isn't exactly Full Metal up there, yet, it is him."  
Both men whirled around quickly, to come face to face with what they could both describe as…a giant palm tree. Its face held seriousness as it approached them, without caution; violet wine eyes gleamed. The creature merely stared into their façades, which only hid their horror of coming face to face with a homunculus. Neither on of the men knew if they were to face off with, the inhuman creature, but both knew they wouldn't last too long fighting against it.

Quickly scanning the ground for the pistol he had foolishly dropped, Flame took a step. "Hold it, Flame Colonel. We both know that shooting me won't do you any good, so don't even try; it'll be a waste anyways." It spoke just as Roy began reaching down for the pistol that laid mere inches away. Growling lowly in the back of the throat, he stood straight again. _Damn it, I hate when they're always right; shit, now what?_

"I'm not here to kill anyone," it spoke tiredly. "I have to talk to the pipsqueak."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Roy demanded, "What for?"

"This doesn't concern you, Colonel Jackass!" the homunculus changed its voice to sound exactly as Edwards. Smirking, Envy placed its arms over its head, "what I'm about to tell the pipsqueak, he only needs to know; unless he thinks you deserve to know."

Forgetting about the fact the being in front of him could rip him apart; Mustang stomped toward the homunculus, onyx eyes narrowed dangerously. Grabbing the soulless doll by the neck, the colonel yanked him forward; "if you try to do anything to Full Metal, I'll find a way to make you pay."

Frowning, Envy nodded reluctantly, "I consider myself warned."

"Good, now why don't you get up there and _help_ Full Metal?" Roy smirked as menacingly as he could muster.

Groaning at the man's demand, Envy looked up at the building, immediately spotting the two battling bodies. "Do I have too?" Receiving a harsh push, the homunculus jumped onto the third story window sill, than to the top.

"Do you really think that's a good idea, Roy?"

"That homunculus is the only chance we got, to get Ed out of there; unless you had a better idea." Flame raised a suspicious eyebrow toward his fellow officer and friend, "Well? Did you have an idea?"  
Throwing his hands up in defense, Hughes gave a nervous chuckle, "No…I just thought…you seem to be breathing into this guy, when in the past he's tried to kill, both Elric brothers."

"Yeah, but…something about him…it's changed," Roy spoke uncertain of the words that had left his vocal cords. Picking up the hand gun lying helplessly inches from his feet, the onyx eyed man grimaced, _what the hell am I thinking? Trusting Ed to that monster...but, what can I do to protect him?_ Looking into the hands that held the gun, he pressed his lips together tight, "Hughes...am I that useless?"

Staring wide eyed at the world around him, the man next to Roy was astonished by the question, "I don't even know what the hell you're talking about Roy." Watching the face falter slightly in showing any kind of emotion, Maes smiled, "I don't think you're useless at all, Mr. Flame Alchemst."

Before even getting another word out, another loud explosion tore through the air of the military courtyard; throwing eveyone to the ground with its force. Though as Roy fell to the ground, his head had collided with a large piece of the building and was knocked out cold. All he could remember was the voice of Riza and Maes, but he could careless; what he wanted to know, was wither Edward was okay.

From atop the rooftop, Edward had lost all emotions, and was now nothing but blood thristy maniac. All that seemed to change when he heard frantic cries for Roy Mustang. Looking over his shoulder, down upon the ground, he saw with dead hazy gold irisis a man with velvety black hair lie unconcious. Stopping mid with his auto-mail blade, the blonde whispered softly, "Roy?" The moment the Flame Alchemist's name left the older Elric's lips, the other body moved in one swift moment and knocked out the Full Metal Alchemist. "Never take your eyes off your enemy, Edward."

After hearing those words, Edward gently let himself slide into darkness he knew he deserved at the moment; because his love had gotten hurt; all because of him. _Damn it...its always me. Why do the people I love, and care about...always have...to get hurt?_

_

* * *

Well, there it was. Please say I did a decent job...but than I want the truth...I really think this sucked. Yeah...yell at me if it does...I'll be updating the entire Story later on, and fixing a few of the things people have pointed out to me. So...if could take a lot longer to update chapter ten. Yeah..._


	11. The Haven of Love

_Okay after a few years, I had finally updated the chapter. Yay! I almost never have enough time, or am just in a complete state of writers block. I really do hope you enjoy this chapter._

**Starlit Angel**

**The Haven of Love**

**Chapter X**

_**Please hold my hand, as my water grey skies fall upon me, and smother me with ice cold kisses. I want to know the feeling of warmth from another, other than my foolish thoughts of going into another oblivious dream. That was the last of everything inside me, it blows away, and I forget who I am; and what it is I love the most. I want to know all the little things that have to do with living happily, and not feeling so lonely within the heart.**__  
* * * * *_

_Everything was blank; a wonderful grey. But something about it didn't quite seem right, and I wasn't too sure what it was. I know I was here in body, but I didn't know where I was in mind; I was lost somewhere I knew I had gone before. And the only place I could describe it as best was 'The Gate'. That place I had gone so many times before in my dreams, where I can see the truth staring at me, laughing at my stupidity. My desperation to bring my mother back, my desperation that nearly cost my brother's soul; it's laughing at me._

_I don't care anymore; all I want to know if Roy was okay. I need to know that he isn't hurt because of me, or that he didn't think any less of me, because of the promotion the Fuhrer had chosen me for. I really needed to know that I have a chance with him._

Roy paced rapidly from one side of the room to the other, wearing a bandage around his head. Hawkeye and Hughes watched wearily as the Flame Alchemist nearly fell from his pacing.

Grabbing his arm as he passed by, Hughes grimaced, "Damn it Roy, you're giving me a headache. Sit your pompous ass down right now, before you give yourself another concussion from your stupidity."

Roughly pulling his arm away, Mustang felt a dizzy spell fall on him, and he steadied himself against the wall. Taking a deep breath, Roy narrowed his obsidian eyes, "I can't sit down, you know that Maes. Not while Edward is still in this hospital, in that-"

"Where all worried about him, sir," Riza sighed. Turning her watering gaze away from her superior officer, the blonde woman held onto her shoulders. "We both know how worried you are, Colonel; but putting yourself in a stressful state will not help with Edward's condition."

"She's right you know, besides, you've got a pretty bad concussion. You should be in your room, resting just like Ed." Putting a hand on his best friends shoulder, Maes smiled warmly. "And hey, I know you like I know the back of my hand; you'll pull through your condition."

Relaxing every part of his body, Mustang sighed heavily, "That's not what I'm worried about. I'm worried that Edward, will just blame himself for everything; like what he always does."

A throaty gasp broke the tension building up inside of Roy, "That's not true."

All three adults looked to the body lying in the bed, and felt sudden waves of relief, that the alchemist was awake. Riza smiled widely, as she kept the tears falling from her eyes, Maes grinned like no tomorrow, and Roy relaxed his shoulders to show his relief; than without warning collapsed to the floor.

"Roy! Damn it, that's why I told you to stay in bed!" Hughes yelled while picking up his friend and sluggishly throwing Roy's arm over his shoulder. "Well, I'll be back pipsqueak; I need to put Mr. Flame Alchemist back to bed."

"Actually Hughes, why not bring another bed in and-"

Riza immediately retaliated, "Absolutely not…sir. The both of you need to rest, and the only way for either one of you to do that, is keep you separated."

Edward narrowed his tired golden eyes, _who the hell does she think she is?_ Sitting up, the younger blonde straightened his back, "that is an order, First Lieutenant Hawkeye. Besides, I have issues I need to settle with the colonel, and I can only do that if he is in the room with me."

The woman couldn't believe her ears, the older Elric and much younger blonde had ordered her without hesitation. And the look he had given her was even more shocking; Edward was never one to look at her in such a way. Sullenly nodding her head, she turned on her heels determined to keep her façade in place, before letting it slip in front of the two men; and walked out of the room.

Maes on the other hand was rather glad, that the young man had taken the promotion serious and not played around with the power. Though on the inside, the family man felt that it was going to cause more mistakes; rather than erasing the mistakes that have already been created. Especially since, Roy had shown he had full support for the blonde in front of the other general's.

_It's going to be hell for the both of them, I know it. Not only because they're still both young, but; because they support each other. Damn it, why doesn't either one ever think things through?_ Leisurely sitting Mustang in a chair not far from the bed, Maes's eyes studied the way Edward sat beneath the bed covers. "Y'know, pipsqueak; you have grown…a lot. You're about what; half a head shorter than the Flame? And your only eighteen years old, imagine that."

"Yea, sure," Edward mumbled softly. Grabbing his auto-mail port, he bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to feel pain right than, but he knew he couldn't with Hughes standing there; eyeing him like a cat. "How about you go get that bed for Mustang, huh Hughes?"

"No problem, Ed."

"Thanks," watching as the military family man stepped out the door, Edward quickly pulled out a shard of glass he recalled had lodged in the crevice; during his fight. Taking a cautious look at the man with jet black hair, he unbuttoned the front of his shirt; pulling it down over his right shoulder. Holding his breath ever so lightly, Elric listened to the silence, and then quickly sliced it over his shoulder, when he was satisfied with only the silence of nothing.

"Damn it!" he hissed loudly. _Shit! It really stings…damn it. Ugh, but…it feels better…almost has if…I'm letting so much go. _Letting a heavy breath go, Edward leaned back into his pillow, feeling lighter; almost as if a heavy burden had been set free. Though he felt something still there in the pit of his stomach, something with almost inhumane feelings; "My head is killing me."

"That's because the guy you were fighting knocked you over the head with a lucky punch. Honestly, how could you have let him get away with that hit?"

Gold cat eyes wavered over to the man sitting mere feet away, smiling that he was awake and talking, Full Metal swung his legs over the side of the bed. "Glad your still breathing, Colonel Flame. And I honestly don't really know how or why I let my guard down and maybe-"

"It's because you were worried about me," Roy stated blandly; molding his sentence in with Edward's. Lolling his head slightly, Mustang stared at a blank white wall, _you're too proud to admit._

Looking away in shame, gold short hair swayed slightly from the crisp evening air breezing through the open hospital window. Inhaling softly, Full Metal could taste the soon coming rain on his tongue. "Y'know, I think you're right. I was worried, but why couldn't I be?"

"Don't let those emotions get the better of you in battle, Edward. They're useless, believe me."

Growling at the man's cold words, Edward swallowed the lump forming in his throat; all the while feeling angry. _The asshole! I can't believe he can still act that way, after everything that had just happened. But…he's right. I could have died for letting my guard down. That guy could have killed me; but why was he after me? Maybe he knows about my baby too,_ attentively his stomach, Edward frowned.

Roy, who had watched Edward touch his stomach, frowned slightly, "what's wrong? Are you in pain?"

Shaking his head lightly, Edward smiled, "its nothing you have to worry about. Just…It's alright."

"I won't buy it, even if you now are my superior. Now what's wrong?"

"Could we just leave it alone?" Edward asked. Though after a deep breath, he smiled warmly, "at least when it feels right."

Nodding in understanding that the younger male would rather feel comfortable with the situation, Mustang grimaced. Deep inside, he felt that Edward didn't trust him enough, to say anything. He felt insecure about a relationship beyond what they have right than and now. Letting his shoulders relax, the colonel studied the Brigadier General; and the way he seemed to compose himself. "Y'know, I don't see why I didn't make you wear a uniform sooner. It looks good on you," Roy said with a sly smirk.

Blushing a soft rosy pink; Full Metal turned away; "well, you've definitely got to start wearing something else _other_ than the uniform."

"What did you have in mind, _sir_?" Roy smirked wider.

Scoffing slightly at the formality, Edward leaned forward before sinking backward onto his pillow. "Nothing too great, just something nice and casual; is all."

"Heh, is that all? '_Just_ something nice and casual', that's all you think, huh?"

Nodding, Elric shrugged, "you've got to start dressing a little more human like. Like the clothes you wore…well, y'know what I mean."

"Yes, I do know what you mean."

"Y'know the Full Metal pipsqueak is gonna be looking for us now, right Envy."

The homunculus shrugged, "yeah, so what?"

Lust narrowed her eyes, "you screwed up big time by getting involved in this."

Envy stuck its tongue out at the other, "big deal. I saved the miniature from being put in the ground. Where were you? You were supposed to keep Wrath occupied."

Sneering, Lust pushed Envy hard against the wall, "I was keeping that damned piece of life occupied! What it means, is that there is another homunculus out there." Giving the shape shifter one last push, the sexy doll turned away, "but, the question is; what does this homunculus want with the Full Metal?"

"I don't know, but, whatever that thing was, it wanted to kill Elric." Envy scowled as its face shifted into the Flame Alchemist. "And, what was even weirder was how the pipsqueaks speed and strength increased when that fucking doll showed up."

"Really?" Lust questioned softly.

"Yeah, really." Envy mocked

"That's very interesting, have you ever heard of anything like this happening; because, I've never read anything like this being possible; or even a theory for that matter of fact."

Envy shook his head, and shrugged, "nope."

"You're a lot of help," Lust growled.

Envy laughed, "I know, right."

"Hey Al, how you been the last few days?" Edward asked his younger brother in the suit of armor. "You know, I think I'm getting used to hosp-" Before the sentence could be finished, a nurse walked in with a tray, a needle on top, and in the middle.

_Geez, Ed…_ Alphonse thought. Quickly drawing a transmutation circle, the younger Elric had tied down the older brothers' arms.

"_Al_!" Edward screeched loudly.

Turning to the nurse, Alphonse bowed apologetically, "I'm sorry for my older brother's actions."

The nurse smiled, "its fine. Now Edward, the shot isn't for you, it's for the Colonel."

Roy perked at the sound of his title, "For me? What do I need a shot for?"

The young lady laughed, "it's just a simple shot for the fever you have nothing more."

Nodding in understanding, Roy rolled up the sleeve of his shirt. He knew it was coming, he had hoped all night that the fever he had would break. But, it only got worse, so much, that he had nearly passed out on several occasions.

"You're starting to look better, Colonel," she commented. "With the exception of the fever, of course; but, this will break the fever. And you will be able to go to sleep here shortly."

"Finally," Roy sighed. "Not being able to sleep is a killer."

Looking at the man in the bed next to him, Edward grimaced, "I'm really sorry about this Mustang."

Giving a small smile, Roy sighed, "Don't worry Ed. Everything was said and done earlier, no need for any more apologies; okay?"

Nodding his head slightly, the young man grimaced before rolling over onto his side, and falling into a comfortable zone of sleep. _Finally, some much needed sleep, and no needles._

Chuckling softly, the colonel looked to Alphonse, who sat next to Edwards's bed. "He's finally sleeping; didn't think we'd get him to finally close his eyes."

"Yeah," Alphonse laughed. "Especially after what had happened last night; what do you think all that was about? Why didn't the homunculus attack then, or even now?"

"I don't really know Al, but, there is something going on. Something big is about to happen, or it already has."

"I thought you said that transmutation wouldn't have done anything else to him except put the damned womb inside of him! He was matching me blow for blow after I almost had him!" The homunculus screamed. Slamming its fist into the floor, shattering the concrete and causing the dust beneath it to form a thick cloud, "and, those damned homunculus's of that fucking bitch Dante showed up as well."

"I figured as much," a voice spoke gruffly to the homunculus, "I'm sure my fiancé wasn't too happy about you taking 'care' of Edward."

"I didn't see her at all, it was fucken Envy that was there," it sneered. "The fucker grabbed Edward before I could take him, and caused the building to collapse to take him away." As if suddenly it was burnt, the homunculus's head snapped up remembering, "I had nearly forgotten to mention something."

Looking at his creation, he scowled, "and, what might that be, Maria?"

"Seems that Edward has found a new 'boyfriend'," it emphasized the last world loudly and clearly.

Grunting as if the subject didn't matter, the man with hazel eyes frowned sadly "is that so Edward? Well, we're just going to have to punish you, aren't I?"

Edward woke with a start, while he became aware of his surroundings he heard his screams fade into the air. His entire body was cover with a thin layer of fresh sweat from the horrible dream he had, and the more nightmares he had; the more they felt real to him. The way things felt to him, the smell, and the taste in the air of the dreams; were clear as his hands that hung limply against his legs. Shuddering to the after images of the dreams that continued to run through his mind, Edward looked at the world around as he studied it. Trying to decipher it between if he was really awake, or if he continued to dream, and only thought he was awake.

Turning his head towards where the older man's bed was, he saw that the body was not lying there as it should have been. Searching the dark corners of the room, Edward continued to not see that body of the colonel, _Where on earth did the man go? He should be in bed unless… _Edwards' thoughts were interrupted as the door to the room open softly, and then shut as quietly as the person could shut it.

Quickly lying down, pretending to be asleep, he watched as the outline of a body quietly moved toward the other bed. Smirking, Edward decided to scare the other, but, then quickly remember the man's condition. "Y'know, if the nurses were to catch you; you wouldn't hear the end of it from them or the doctors."

Hearing the smirk in Roy's voice as he spoke, made Edward smile; "I'm sure you're right about that Full Metal, but, you do know how the women like to swoon over me."

"Yeah, I suppose so," Edward said dully after the sentence was spoken.

Hearing the tone of the other soldier, Roy sighed, "I was only joking Edward; don't be so uptight." Seeing that Ed didn't acknowledge his words, Roy sat on the side of his bed, staring intently at the other in the bed. Smiling, he watched as the light shining from underneath door made his golden hair glisten. "You are a beautiful creature, Edward." He whispered.

Edward's head shot up, "what did you say Colonel Mustang?"

The older man froze up, _shit! I didn't think he would hear me, or even that I had spoken that out loud! Damnit, what the hell do I say?_ Piercing his lips together, Roy shrugged, "Nothing, Edward. Just thinking about what had happened the other day; on what the hell went on with you."

Edward immediately flinched, knowing exactly where the Colonel was heading with his words; "What are you talking about Mustang."

"You know damn well what I'm talking about, Edward," Roy groaned. Rubbing his forehead with his palm, he sighed, "please Ed; I'd really like to know what the hell is going. Why that… Why that homunculus would do what I had asked him to do, or even do it without a fight?"

Whirling to face the other man wide-eyed, Full Metal nearly yelled, "what homunculus, Mustang? What in the hell are you talking about?"

_Shit, why the hell did I say that out loud? I knew he was going to get angry about it, I just knew it and now he's gonna try and hunt it down. _Taking a deep breath, and letting it out slowly Roy looked to Edward over his shoulder, "that Homunculus, Envy. When all that shit was happening, he showed up; out of know where. Damn; I thought it was there for you, I almost wanted to go up against it. And, I knew I didn't stand a chance whatsoever."

Hearing the other man laugh bitterly at his own words, Ed grunted, "yeah. But, you said you had asked him? What did you ask him Mustang?"

"I had asked him to help you," he mumbled. Turning on his bed to face his roommate, Mustang shrugged, "I didn't know what to do, Ed. I just didn't know, for once, I had actually felt completely useless. Things were happening so fast; I-I couldn't do anything to help you, Ed. I just couldn't."

"I wasn't expecting you to, Mustang," Ed said softly. Shifting on his bed, the blonde sighed heavily, "I understand what you're saying Mustang, and I'm sorry for putting you in that position or letting you feel that way. But, in all complete honesty, I don't know what's going on; and its happening to me." Running his fingers through his short blonde hair, Ed twisted his lips in a grimace; tugging slightly on his hair he looked to Roy, eyes full of uneasiness. "I don't even know what to do Mustang; I don't know what the hell happening to me, and you know what I'm talking about, you saw me. I'm more scared than I have ever been, I just-I don't know!"

Seeing the other in complete distress, in a near state of panic, Roy quickly moved to the other bed; he pulled Edward to him, hugging tightly as if he would never see him again. Tears formed in his obsidian eyes, feeling the anguish the blonde felt about not knowing what was happening around him. "Shhh, Ed. Its okay, we'll get this figured out. I'm not gona let you go through this alone. I promise you, I will be there for you whenever you need me, and I'll do the best I can to help; to help you understand."

"No," Edward moaned sullenly, "it's too dangerous to be around me. I'm a walking target Roy, and there's nothing I can do about it; nothing I can do about what is happening." Clenching the other's shirt tightly, wringing it so tight that it could had nearly ripped. He sobbed slightly louder, "I don't think I can stand if anyone got hurt cause of me. I don't want that to happen again, I don't want it to."

_God Ed, if I only knew what was really going on, I wish I knew how to help you. I really do wish I knew had to stop this from happening to you, I really do. _"Edward, go to sleep now. I promise you, we'll get something figured out, I'll start researching what I can." Giving the other body a slight push to lie him down, Roy quickly wiped his eyes to rid them of the tears that had yet to fall; "please, get some sleep. We'll call Hughes in the morning, and we'll start researching and figure something out for you, alright?"

Nodding, Edward blushed lightly as he spoke his words, "sleep with me, Mustang?"

"What?" Roy asked surprise.

"I mean… just… y'know in the same bed. That's all, I just don't want to feel alone right now."

"Ed, you aren't alone."

"I know, I just mean… never mind."

Remaining on the bed next to the blonde, the dark haired man smiled, "I know. I'll stay here for awhile, until your asleep, okay Ed?"

"Okay," a tired yawn replied.

"Sleep."

The next morning, the two alchemists sat in their beds, as they looked through alchemy books that had been brought to them by Hughes and Armstrong. Neither of them had spoken in full truth to Hughes about what had been said during the night, and both were glad that he didn't question anything further, knowing that they would speak to him when the time was right. On occasions Edward would look to Roy through the fringes of his hair, and study the man as he studied the book he held in his hands, writing small notes on a piece of paper on the table. Ed watched the man in fascination, never seeing the other so enveloped in something.

"It's weird," Edward said loudly.

"And what is that Edward?" Mustang asked lazily, knowing full well where the older Elric was heading with his simple words. "Seeing me like this? Is that what is so weird for you? At some point in my life I had to look like this, you know that; I wouldn't have become The Flame Alchemist if I didn't look like this when I looked at an alchemy book." Roy laughed heartily at his words.

"I suppose that's true," Edward chuckled. Looking back to his book, he once again tried to focus on the words of the text book, but found his hard when he had the man all women wanted with him, wanting to help him. Who had cared for him like no other, other than his own flesh and blood, Al.

"Ed, you want to take a break? I can see that you're not focusing right now, is there something wrong?" Roy leaned over Edward, placing the back of his hand to his forehead, "you seem okay. Are you just spacing out, or did you think of something?"

"Nothing," the blonde mumbled.

Seeing as the younger male lowered his face from site, Roy knew exactly what he was thinking, leaning further towards the blushing man, he smiled. "Ed, you don't need to hide from me, you know that." Pushing bangs aside from the eyes he loved looking into, Mustang tilted Edwards chin upwards, "Look at me, Ed"

Resisting in doing what the Colonel had said, the Brigadier General shook his head, "let's get back to work, I'm fine, really."

"Then look at me, please Ed. Just look into my eyes," Roy asked softly.

Giving a small sigh of defeat, Full Metal did as what was asked of him, and looked into the dark pools of his once commanding officer. Feeling like his stomach had dropped out of him, Edward nervously wringed the sheets in hand, waiting for something to happen. For somebody to walk through the door, and break the uneasiness that he felt as he continued to stare into those eyes he had fallen in love with; eyes that he could stare into forever. His entire body felt like it was on fire, he could feel the heat emanating from deep within the core of his body.

"Edward," Roy breathed softly. "I-I…" Without thinking, he suddenly pulled the other to him in a passionate kiss, nearly smothering Edward with the kiss.

_What? He's kissing me! He's really kissing me! Holy shit! _Grasping onto the front of Roy's shirt, he pulled him even closer, needing to feel the warmth of the others body. Pulling away slightly, Edward breathed "I want you."

"I know," Roy answered huskily, "I've wanted you too, Edward."

Brushing the golden bangs of hair from the golden cat eyes, Mustang lightly traced his fingers over the smooth skin of the prodigy. Taking in every detail he could, while they were still alone, the scent he would only get small whiffs of, he could now take in deep breaths. Tracing his fingers over golden eyebrows, down the side of Edward's face, then softly traced over the lips he had just kissed passionately.

"M-Mustang, why would you want someone like me, when you've had all these other choices of women around you; why would you choose me?" Edward asked solemnly.

Roy raised his eyebrows surprised, "What? Edward, why would you ask a stupid question like that? Wait a minute, you think I'm messing with you or something; is that what brought the question up?"

"Yeah, pretty much. I mean c'mon, how often do men sit here and confess to each other about how much they want to… sleep with one another?"

Roy sighed, "Yeah, you are right. It doesn't happen at all, but," pausing with his words, he looked kindly in the other molten amber eyes, the beautiful color. "I'm not messing with you; at all. I-I… Edward, I'm-I'm…" Slapping his forehead, Mustang sighed heavily, "c'mon, why can't I say it?"

"Say what, Mustang?" Edward cocked his head in confusion.

"Edward, I'm…"

"Hey, you guys are still at it, huh?" Hughes suddenly chirped as the door swung wide open. "I thought so, so, I had asked Gracia if she would make something for you two to eat; so you didn't have to eat that nasty stuff they got downstairs, the military calls food."

"Hughes! Could you step out of the room for five minutes, I need to tell Ed something," Roy grounded out.

Laughing loudly, Maes slapped Roy promptly on the back, "That can wait. I've got bigger news for you guys; I think we've got the lead you've been looking for. But, what's even better is, you guys are going to be released from the hospital today! Isn't that great news?"

"Yeah, great," Roy sighed.

Edward grinned, "yes, finally!"

"Though, the Fuhrer wants you 'Flame Alchemist' to keep an eye on your new commanding officer. He thinks that attack was premeditated by Drachma, but we all know that isn't it, and that we all do agree they were after Ed." Maes looked to Edward warily, "I think you know why, Ed. Or, at least have an idea; you're just not saying anything for some reason."

"He's right," Mustang butted in. "You told me some things, you left out a lot, so we are just going on what you've felt comfortable saying. I'm not trying to guilt you into anything, but, we all want to help Ed; and we can't do that if you keep us at arm's length."

Ed nodded, "I know. I just need you guys to understand though; I do appreciate all the help, even though you don't know everything."

Maes smiled in a fatherly way, "of course Ed. We're a family, and we love you _and _Al. don't forget that Ed. If you ever need something, or just need to unload what's on your mind, me and Roy are here for you."

Shocked, Edward look to both men, who held sad smiles. Smiling sadly as well, Ed lowered his head, hiding the tears that formed instantly. Whimpering with sobs, he hid his tears with his arm and softly said "thank you."


End file.
